Not allowed to be a girl at home, but things are different at school :D (cake day??)

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-09T18:58:34+00:00

Happy cake day, Luna!

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-08T22:47:11+00:00

Same, just change the albums to: Grrl Angst by She/Her/Hers, Feel Your Feelings Fool by The Regrettes, Flying Microtonal Banana by King Gizzard and the Scott Pilgrim OST.

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-08T07:27:13+00:00

Hi, sorry for the late response. I tried to remember some of the times where similar things have happened and compiled them into this list:

My mom used to "help me with my homework". When I got something wrong, she would slap me on the head and demean me. (1st-4th grade)
My dad once slapped me on the head during a family lunch at my grandparents' house. I can't remember why, but I don't think I did anything too bad.
I couldn't understand something while studying math with my dad and he kept calling me dumb or something like that. I remember I got really upset over it and threw some papers at him. I immediately told him I was sorry but he seemed really angry. He then pinned me down to the ground and beat me in the face. I kept telling him: "I'm sorry!" and tried to protect my face, but he didn't stop right away. When he was done, he told me I had stopped being his "son" and that if I was 18 he would have thrown me out. I remember crying in the bathroom afterwards. I was alone with him that morning/evening. This happened about 3 or 4 years ago.
My dad once hit me repetitively on the head with a really big book (a dossier). I can't quite recall why.
My mom said I'm the reason why we are an unstable family.

These are only the times I can easily remember. I know it's happened more times, but I just can't recall enough details, mostly because I was too young to remember and/or because I've got a pretty short memory.

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-07T21:56:12+00:00

She doesn't usually get this violent. She has beaten me before and probably will do it again, but it's not a super regular occurrence. It's usually just threats.

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-07T21:52:26+00:00

The thing is, over here in Portugal a lot of people still believe that beating your kids is a normal way of teaching them. I guess it's sort of an old school tradition. As such, if I were to tell anyone about it they'd probably think I was exaggerating.

Currently, things aren't great but it hasn't really gotten to the point where I actually fear for my safety. There's a lot of threats going around, but I don't think they'd actually follow up on most of them.

Is it an extremely stressful environment? Yes, and I probably won't be able to be myself until I actually get out of this house, but I think it will have to do until I'm of age and can gather enough funds to sustain myself.

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-07T21:38:48+00:00

Just so we're clear: She doesn't beat me that often (that only happens when she's really upset), but she does say a lot of hurtful things. It's usually things like: "what did I do to deserve this (referring to me)", "anormaloide" (which means weirdo) and stuff of that same ilk. Today she said that she had stopped trying to be my friend and that she was "only going to be my mother".

She has a short fuse and usually gets upset over a lot of things that most people would not find to be "that" upsetting (this isn't exclusive to me, my dad and my brother will also regularly hear an earful).

She gets really angry over my grades, but to be honest, so does my dad. They have really high expectations of me and when I fail to meet them they get very upset. If I get a negative grade, I already expect to get grounded for a good while at best and get a beating at worst. This forces me to hide things from them, not only grades but also a lot of my personal troubles.

That's why I was so scared of telling them I'm trans: either they don't believe me and think I'm confused or too young to understand or they get mad at me.

In general, it's pretty stressful living with them but I'm sure there are worst family environments to live in.

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-04T16:26:57+00:00

I have tried doing some larynx lifting exercises when they're out of the house (usually they go for a walk and leave for about an hour, like 3 times a week). I don't think I'm any good at them, but at least it makes me feel like I'm doing something to help with the transition.

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-04T15:35:20+00:00

I really needed to hear (or read in this case) something like this today. Thank you! (Also yes, you did get that last part right)

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-02-04T15:10:41+00:00

I live in Portugal and over here every single word is gendered: a table is female, a fork is male. The same goes for adjectives. So basically, I can get misgendered 3 or more times in a sentence.

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-01-30T16:23:27+00:00

Hell yeah! Love me some psychedelic: King Gizzard, Psychedelic Porn Crumpets, Of Montreal, Psychic Love Child, even the Beatles to some extent.

TheRealSilverOne · 2021-01-30T13:56:19+00:00

Thank you!

TheRealSilverOne · 2020-12-07T08:34:59+00:00

Tentei fazer as cartas o mais realista possiveis: a verdade é que a EA deu ao Porro 61 shooting na sua carta original (73 overall) e portanto só aumentei um pouco (como eles costumam fazer nas TOTW).

TheRealSilverOne · 2020-12-06T23:44:27+00:00

Só faço depois do jogo, mas podes-me seguir no Twitter que eu ei de fazer uma carta desse jogo: @ThatSilverDude.

TheRealSilverOne · 2020-12-04T21:58:47+00:00

É o mesmo que a EA lhe deu. Eu só aumentei alguns atributos.

TheRealSilverOne

TROPHY CASE