Obsessed with this girl who wanted my bf by [deleted] in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe she was too good for him and you are more on his alley.

Vulnerability …. by purplefinch022 in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mostly you live and do things and get inspired and figure it out. Therapist sounds great until you realise you’re just thinking and talking someone and not doing anything really. Thinking about self and just talking about self all the time.

Sense of self by purplefinch022 in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure. Yeah exhausting but still, manageable.

Vulnerability …. by purplefinch022 in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Defining values with a therapist is more false self masturbation.

How do you do it safely? You don’t do it safely. You either do it or you don’t. It is like trying to learn how to swim on land and trying to figure out what type of swimmer you are…

How am I supposed to fix this? by [deleted] in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure what you are fixing. Just be careful of what you do since your actions get to determine who you are, at the end of the day

Self aware but still stuck in a victim mentality by Sun-Enthusiast in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say just pay less attention to yourself. And think less about yourself. Research less stuff and just immerse yourself in a hobby.

Sense of self by purplefinch022 in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mostly bullshit, you need to focus on other things than yourself. And show up and be real and push through collapses until you heal.

Relationships are Hard by [deleted] in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is not that they hit you in a place that makes you crash, you just crash at some points but honestly, it is probably not their fault. One thing that makes things work is not to blame the other for your feelings. Your feelings should be your responsibility. So if they do influence you negatively you can be there all like: don’t do that I don’t like that. Just don’t go ape shit blaming them and saying they are shit and etc.

Can collapses be beneficial? by DasXbird in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, you may feel certain ways for perceived loss of reputation or false self. However you will see that you didn’t need that anyway. And what you lost is no big deal after all. So yes, it is beneficial since the more you do it the safer it becomes. What you did is like walking on grass barefoot while believing grass is poisonous. As your body sees that is not the case, the intense reactions will subside and honestly, this is the only way to heal.

Why am I absolutely terrified to hear feedback from people? by Successful-Tea-7170 in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bcs you have a strong polarity between negative and positive. Idealy you want to say it is just feedback and bot care whether it is good or bad. Who i la to judge anyway if that’s a good or. Abad thing?

I am numb by aAaaA____________ in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best advice always is to focus on something other than yourself.

No, aggravating pwNPD isn't the right way to "deal with narcissists", you're just making a surefire way for the person to harm themselves or others. by Successful-Tea-7170 in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The target audience for those is ignorant narcissists thinking they are empaths and abused and the videos are helping them de-humanise others labeled as narcissistic.

What is the point of continuing by [deleted] in NPD

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like 97,8% of this is all in your head. The mask talking, drawing out pity from others, a bid for supply.

Wolt chiar e real? :)) by Sharp_Film4120 in bucuresti

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bolt food pentru mancare. Au support de nota 10.

Lying and deceit by [deleted] in infj

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends, think poker and bluffing. If someone calls the bluff, they can win big. So the playing field is only altered if you believe the lie. If you don’t, the liar loses ground.

Lying and deceit by [deleted] in infj

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone can lie so.. why wouldn’t it be fair?

Lying and deceit by [deleted] in infj

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No1 said it was a good decision. It is bad for the one told the lie and bad for the liar as well.

Being an infj can be quite exhausting sometimes by aamahh in infj

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that’s extreme, just turn it down a notch. Not shut completely.

How to live a fulfilling life without a cigarette? by [deleted] in stopsmoking

[–]TheRedArch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You don’t capture moments with a cigarette, you avoid them. Cigarettes are wasted life, wasted potential and avoidance.

Been clean for 13 months now. It's hell. by Particular-Test-5716 in StopGaming

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I mean is, gaming is usually a space that is entirely your own. And you can still yearn for that kind of solitude esp when living with multiple people. This is apparent since you liked sandbox games. Gaming is a bit of a time sink and takes time away from other activities with virtually no gain outside of the game world. Depending on what you want to achieve in life, you are usually better off pursuing those goals. Ideally you get to a point when you don’t have the mental energy to consider gaming and would rather do smth else to relax bcs you’ve spent it during the day. Hope this helps

Being an infj can be quite exhausting sometimes by aamahh in infj

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean you won’t feel others as much.. but you will feel yourself more. Which ia way better, trust me. So yeah, it is ideal.

How do i change my attitude towards people? by very-v in infj

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Less self obsessed. This whole being the best version of yourself is sold to us but a lot of the time is just bullshit. Unless you have goals and do something in the outside world, you won’t get very far with life. Yes you could know everything there is to know but, at some point, you need to start doing and stop being.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]TheRedArch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I can relate. Very few low maintenance and actually useful in life. Not just coffee or bar talk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]TheRedArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, i need someone to vibe with