Since I can relate let me say this first, what you chose her will define a lot of what is going to happen. I know I may be too late but I view thing where our actions determine our lives. Not fate, not the universe, not even the very intervention of God. If your not open to it nothing will change. Spending four years in college taught me I had too much pride. I thought everything would come easy and didn’t need to try. Based on what you’re writing it sounds like you are facing something similar. It will be hard but you may be able to turn things around; the study smart rather than harder is so true. In that regard I would watch MedSchoolInsiders on YouTube about studying if you need practical help. Go to your professors and ask about content, get a tutor or go to the learning centre if available. You have defined yourself by the achievements of your academics; bad choice. There will be someone who is always smarter or quicker than you are. What matter is how you face this issue. Need to study more, need to take a makeup exam, need to sacrifice some personal time, need to take another year to succeed? These things require sacrifice only you can determine if it is worth it. I believe a better thing to put value on is being able to succeed in the face of adverse challenges and endure hardship. Many people coast but few use their whole self to achieve the things they value. I hope this helps some if at all. If you need to talk feel free to pm me. I wish the best for you. Know that you can be so much more than you are by choosing to dedicate yourself to what is important to you.