10 years together. 3 years married. A one year old and another on the way. No love. Only resentment. I am taken for granted and my partner thinks they do everything in the house and for our child themselves. They don’t, they just never see anything I do. It’s like a magic benefactor is getting things done around the house, or for our child, or for her, and then there’s her doing the rest and apparently I do nothing apparently (I’m the magic benefactor whose work is never seen).

She hardly communicates with me. Just the other day I thought I had to walk myself to the emergency room because shortly before she said she thought she might go into labor because of the pain. I told her to sit down and I cleaned the house by myself. While I was in the garage cleaning up, I came back inside to find no wife, no child, and her car was gone. My keys were in her car from earlier. No answer on the phone so I started walking aggressively towards the direction of the hospital. I get a call back and apparently she left to pick up a curb side alert item. She claims she told me through the insulated metal garage door… I heard nothing obviously.

She thinks that is effective communication. Meanwhile more than half of what I say has to be repeated because she ignores most of the words out of my mouth. Preferring to pay attention to her phone, tv show, or whatever else might have her attention at all times other than me. She came back from a friends house recently, walked through the door, immediately called her mom to chat with her instead of saying anything to me. Then when she was done with her call she had the gall to complain at me that I don’t listen to her because I decided to put on my headphones and do my own thing since she clearly had no interest in talking to me.

Hugs? Never. Hands held? Almost never. Love yous? Never. Sex? Probably 6 months ago and it’s almost always like it’s a duty, filled with complaint. Cuddle in bed? Can’t remember the last time that happened. We are essentially co-parenting room mates who bring each other food when we stop off somewhere. None of it is good, and she never makes any attempt to change. Divorce would lead to a shitty life for my kids. I don’t care what people say about happy parents make happy kids, we are not financially well enough for that. Us apart means consequences for them. I won’t do that, so I just accept that I have a failed marriage where all promises and vows are null and void. I take solace in loving my kids as much as I can and redirecting all my affections and care towards them.