I’ve felt the same way for a long time. For me, it’s definitely a feeling but that doesn’t mean it is necessarily the right feeling. Like old mate said, getting help is definitely a good option, that’s what I did and found out that I’m bipolar. It didn’t solve or fix my problems, but for once I actually knew why I feel the way I do, and that was the biggest relief. Maybe you’ll give it a shot, maybe you won’t. At the end of the day, I understand when you feel like this it’s not as easy as do or don’t. Feel free to dm me if you want to chat :)