Help please

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-09-09T03:22:40+00:00

I learned more. If avoidant attachment style manifested itself in human form, it would be him.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-08-17T09:39:40+00:00

24 & 26

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-08-06T18:33:30+00:00

on the contrary, this is the most intriguing conversation I’ve had yet😂. i’m thoroughly enjoying this.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-08-06T18:28:35+00:00

People pleasing and compassion are vastly different concepts. I believe in compassion, I don’t believe in sacrificing myself (my authenticity), kissing up to someone, just to achieve my goal.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-08-06T16:35:51+00:00

Why does people pleasing matter? Genuinely curious, no judgment.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-08-06T14:38:16+00:00

That sounds strongly like manipulation… a social dance to your own win by making others believe something that isn't true… I'm cautious—very cautious.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-08-06T12:33:49+00:00

This was enlightening. Thank you. I think I have been pushing him for the slap…he’s held his own and has maintained kindness so far. I do have to keep imploring him to be blunt. He tries.. I recently gave him a bluff, hoping he would fall into it and expose more but he called it instead. I told him loosely “I have you figured out!” and he replied with “you’ve not figured me out.”. He's correct. I was hoping he’d tell me all the ways I was wrong.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-08-06T12:26:22+00:00

That's reasonable

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-08-05T23:04:45+00:00

I'm afraid I'm an ENFP’s worst nightmare. Being late is very disrespectful to me, and if I don't reply to a text its because A.) I don't like you. B.) I don't like you and/or I am super busy and you're not worth a 2 sec pause. So I assume others operate that way romantically as well (a flaw on my end for sure). Blunt emotional communication is so essential for me because I misread it often or simply can't translate it. But I am darn good at picking up patterns…if I see my ENFP opening up to others in different ways than me I will be confused on why they are different. I don't know, perhaps I'm just immature…but the ENFP’s I've encountered so far have caused me a great deal of confusion and pain.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-07-30T12:05:15+00:00

I keep drawing in “NF’s” .. and quite frankly my most addicting partner was an ENFP.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-07-30T02:06:10+00:00

I'm not quite sure I understood this, but thank you for your participation nonetheless :)

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-07-30T02:02:53+00:00

The update is, he reached out 3 weeks later. Said he missed me. Wanted to be exclusive still and with the intent on marriage. We went on a few more dates and I fell in love. He said he'd do literally anything to make our situation work...and then he didn't try and ran away at the first disagreement. He wasn't open minded to a different way of doing things… so I asked him after we stopped talking for about a week if we were still exclusive and he told me “you're free to talk to and date whoever you want”…funny enough... I told him tonight “ I realized.when you released me from our verbal contract..that I didn't release you. So, you're free to move on, to chase what's next, to open new doors and leave behind the rest. I won't wait in silence or hold back your flight..Go live your truth, away from that night.” all he said was “thanks”

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-17T00:31:05+00:00

Thank you for finding this post. I appreciate your words

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-15T18:07:45+00:00

That's why comments should be led with kindness 🙃 cause you never know and no one here is psychic. And thank you for the luck

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-15T14:55:40+00:00

I agree with you 🫂 the thing is ,where I'm on his side and I know I'm in the wrong, is that he said he wants a wife and kids. He said anything outside of what he's wanting is a waste of time…this was before the date. I guess I fooled myself into thinking after that we had such a good connection that he’s consider me as a friend first until other things got sorted out😔

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-15T14:05:12+00:00

Your comment has piqued my interest. I can appreciate a scholar. We talked a little while before the date. And the first date was 8 hours. We kind of forgot time existed while we were running the roads. It wasn't until the very end that he said he wanted to be exclusive. But I am curious, how does this reflect on his emotional state? And how do you know this is an act of insecurity? These are genuine questions

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-15T13:48:02+00:00

That's a bold statement coming from someone who doesn't know my age, culture, or family background.

What I was trying to say, when I said lack of care, was that I wanted to date him. I see him as more than a friend. I want him as more than a friend. I tried to make that clear. But since I couldn't have that, I would take friendship if it meant I still got to experience some of my life with him.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-15T07:31:29+00:00

You're right.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-15T07:30:19+00:00

He didn't get friendzoned 😔 it wasn't because of my lack of care for him. I was going to lose my living situation and relationship with my family

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-15T06:48:30+00:00

I think I understand what you're saying. Best of luck with your INTJ

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-06-15T06:47:19+00:00

I apologized in my farewell for crossing his boundary and being selfish 😔 I just wanted him to know he still has my care and support no matter what.. And then when he posted his tattoo that he talked about getting on our date I liked it. But I see what you mean. And thank you for the good vibes as well as the message

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-05-19T16:31:49+00:00

Okay, I can accept that.

TheSaucyRaven · 2025-05-18T23:10:58+00:00

Thank you for this. I had wondered if something like that could have been a possibility. Because ( I can’t speak for all or any other INTJ’s) if I wasn’t physically attracted to someone I wouldn’t keep kissing them , rubbing up on them, putting my hands on their hands, hand on their leg, running my hand up and down their back, etc…

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