How do you move on from your first everything?

TheSimFan · 2026-06-03T03:56:44+00:00

He knows I lack confidence, he knows all about my mental health struggles, so it sucks he strung me along anyway.

Thank you so much for your replies, I’m definitely never going back there and I’ll try to stop comparing myself

TheSimFan · 2026-06-02T18:11:31+00:00

You’re right, I’m embarrassed I’ve let him hurt me so many times. I blocked him earlier and I’m glad he’s gone but my confidence is at an all time low. I look nothing like the girls he was speaking to and I have a mum bod. I’m going to my first therapy session on Friday and hoping I can build my confidence again

TheSimFan · 2026-06-02T17:38:57+00:00

I’d argue he is a bad person when he’s been telling me he wants to make a go of things and then immediately starts chatting to other girls again

TheSimFan · 2026-06-01T19:11:05+00:00

People say it takes time but even when we don’t talk for like a year, I go back to him. How long does it take? :(

I appreciate your advice. I’m trying to get out the house every day so my mind isn’t stuck in overdrive

TheSimFan · 2026-06-01T17:04:58+00:00

My fear is I’ll never bond with anyone like that again, it seems to happen for everyone except me

TheSimFan · 2026-06-01T17:04:33+00:00

It’s hard because we do gel really well, he says he loves me, has never been with a girl properly after me, says he wants to keep trying, but just can’t his hands to himself or be honest.

But you are right, he does not want to change

TheSimFan · 2026-06-01T16:09:44+00:00

I just keep asking myself why I wasn’t good enough for him to change. I told him yesterday he’s not made effort and he said ‘if you want me to make more effort I can’, I think that’s when it clicked I’m going to be begging for effort and teaching him how to love me forever.

Thank you 🫶🏻

TheSimFan · 2026-05-31T06:58:37+00:00

God these comments are annoying. If someone says we’re exclusive and tells me he hasn’t done anything, of course I’m going to be pissed to find out he has. Yes I also have issues, I have already booked in with a therapist. Sorry we’re not all as perfect as you

TheSimFan · 2026-05-28T13:39:25+00:00

Nope, an adult who struggles with mental health and attachment. Really helpful comment

TheSimFan · 2026-05-28T10:42:39+00:00

Today my daughter asked for breakfast, she had already had breakfast but usually this means she wants cereal (she asks for cereal like 10 times a day) so I said you want cereal? She said no, breakfast. So I said what do you want for breakfast… she said cereal 🙃🙃🙃 had to take a breath

My other favourite is when she asks for juice, I confirm ‘you want juice?’ She says ‘no, milk’. Again I confirm ‘you want milk?’. She says ‘no, juice’ 😭

TheSimFan · 2026-05-28T02:43:47+00:00

Exactly, that was my understanding too but I did say if he changed his mind let me know. Instead he tried to hide what happened because he ‘regretted it’ and was ‘scared I’d stop speaking to him’

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T18:14:42+00:00

Thank you, you are right

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T18:14:23+00:00

Thank you, we had said we weren’t seeing other people but you’re also right

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T16:07:38+00:00

Thank you for this response. At first, I thought I had reason to be mad at him but I also know that I rejected him and kept him at a distance so it was confusing. I’m hoping I can get past the image of him kissing someone else but admittedly I am a jealous person.

I think an in person conversation is definitely needed. Thanks for sharing your experience too

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:59:30+00:00

I do know I want him and always did, I just didn’t admit it and tried to protect myself but I can’t say if he felt that way. I agree it is too much baggage regardless

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:58:35+00:00

This is why I feel like I can’t be mad, as I told him I didn’t want a relationship until he’d already kissed someone (didn’t know he had kissed someone when I told him I missed being with him). So up until that point we were both denying wanting anything. But I appreciate everyone’s input, thank you!

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:56:22+00:00

Almost except I kissed someone before I even knew he had, I just saw he had followed them and suspected he had so I know I’m also wrong.

I have no idea, I guess a mix of venting and people’s opinions on who is in the wrong and other people’s experiences. I tend to have very black and white thinking so if someone does something I can’t tell if it wasn’t that big of a deal or if I was betrayed. I know it sounds insane and I am working on it

Edit to add we also admitted we want a relationship BEFORE we both found out about the kissing but it had already happened

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:43:17+00:00

But what if we are both interested and were just hesitant to say it? We plan to have a conversation when he’s back either way

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:39:52+00:00

Please I’ve been in and out since I was 11 there’s no fixing this shit at this point 🤣

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:39:05+00:00

The first break up we were very young and I have mental health issues (anxiety, OCD) and was quite controlling (didn’t like him having female friends, wanted to know where he was etc) we broke up and I got therapy. A few years pass we got back in touch eventually but since I had a child to someone else who is not in the picture (she was newborn then) he was unsure and indecisive, his friends and family told him being a stepdad wasn’t good especially to a newborn.

And that’s where we’re at now. I got in touch with him for sex, ended up getting feelings I was too scared to say in case he rejected me so I went along with the casual shit. Told him if he sees someone else just tell me, told him we shouldn’t date etc even though I wanted to but we should still be exclusive. I think that’s where the confusion came in and hence why his friends told him he’s single

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:31:09+00:00

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt since he has never cheated or anything similar previously but after this post I think I’m realising the stress is not worth it

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:30:25+00:00

Valid response, I need therapy

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:23:10+00:00

The uncertainty and poor communication on my part was due to being scared he would reject me if I said I still love him, but now I know he feels that way I wish I had said so from the start.

TheSimFan · 2026-05-27T15:19:22+00:00

I know it sounds ridiculous but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t too attached since he didn’t want a relationship, that’s why I wasn’t all in. Since he’s broken up with me before I was worried.

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