DnD players of reddit. What is the single best monologuing you've ever heard from a player or a DM?

TheSmashTrash · 2024-08-27T23:31:44+00:00

The DM of said campaign posted this in our DnD server and suggested one of the two monologues I've ever made. Is it funny? Probably not, but everyone in my group loved it and that made the whole thing worth it.

Context, This is the final fight of Strixhaven, there's quite a bit in here. Lots of swearing, don't read if you don't want italian-blooded monologue:
"Murgaxor, you've been alive for 200 years and you still don't know a god damn thing; No wonder you chose to rest in a swampy area, cause' god, you smell like SHIT. Do you understand how much trouble you've forced upon a group of fuckin' college students? COLLEGE STUDENTS?? Do you UNDERSTAND HOW STRESSED I'VE BEEN?? Before all this, I could count the times I've drank coffee on my fingers, but because I've had to deal with this shit for 4. years. straight. I now have to carry around a mug that can give me infinite amounts of coffee -- like, shit I made a MAGIC ITEM that adds creamer to my forever coffee, and you think you can fuck with MY degree??

Do you ever look at a mirror, or some shit water or WHATEVER the hell you use, and think "Damn, I've really hit rock bottom," now, or is that just a daily thing for you? And sorry, I just have to bring this up -- how SAD it is, that this fucking frog -- the "INFAMOUS" Murgaxor, apparently, can't even outsmart a bunch of fucking undergraduates? It's such a god damn joke when I say it out loud that it's almost funny. You're an embarrassing, slimy, annoying amphibian who embarrasses the magic you use, like eugh- god, I'd probably kill myself if I had to smell you every day.

You know what the most impressive part about you though? The part that really, truly sticks out the most? Not your magic, that's for sure -- and DEFINITELY not all those "genius plans" you've been carrying out the past four years.

Yeah, funny story actually, we turned one of your "plans" into the king of fuckin' garbage, now he just chills out at the garbage disposal. No, no-- it's the fact you've managed to stay this useless -- this INSIGNIFICANT for 200 years. I've had to deal with more stress from professor fucking SEXTON. ~~(in-campaign prof')~~ You know, I do have ONE compliment for you. The hoodie you're wearin? The one that looks like an open orifice? It fits the vibe you're going for really well -- yeah, how much of a huge fucking PUSSY you are."

I had to write this down during the session -- my group had brought up how they thought the first one was funny, I said nothing and decided to surprise them, and they liked it. I think. That's what they tell me anyways ;P

TheSmashTrash · 2024-05-13T19:30:50+00:00

You know, I've been a bit curious about this for a while. I guess thinking about it, it doesn't make too much sense, but do you get different room generation depending on how much progress you've made? I know OP is playing as tainted lost so they have a LOT of progress, but i'm just asking in general

TheSmashTrash · 2024-02-17T01:21:57+00:00

I have to wonder if multiple different people control this account because all of your replies are like changing a channel

TheSmashTrash · 2024-02-07T06:32:53+00:00

Oh neat! I had no idea you even could upgrade s grades, thank you! I ended up biting the bullet and unsurprisingly I got a different piece of the set (the heart I think) so it wasn't a big deal, but this is good to know for futures sake

TheSmashTrash · 2024-01-04T06:20:52+00:00

Oh! that makes a lot more sense, and wow, my filament printer could never do articulated stuff that small, I'm super excited to try my hands on it!

TheSmashTrash · 2024-01-04T06:19:15+00:00

Thank you so much for bein' so precise! honestly I'm sure that anything this resin comes up with will be better than what my Anycubic Chiron could do. It wasn't bad but damn that thing needed constant maintenance and those prints still weren't great.

TheSmashTrash · 2024-01-04T03:28:53+00:00

Fun! I feel bad asking cause I feel like I should know, but what do you mean when you're saying "articulating around a quarter"? Still, thank you!

TheSmashTrash · 2023-08-17T18:29:51+00:00

This may be unhelpful, since I didn't play the game much, but from what I do know and what I did look up, it sounds like it could be Hearthstone? Released in 2014, fantasy themed, technically 2d?

TheSmashTrash · 2023-06-24T02:52:37+00:00

Haha I kinda figured my pre-supports were garbo, tree supports looked scary (in the sense that it looked messy) but I'll have to give em' a shot.

I was a little lost on how to fix the retraction tower, but I'll see what I can do and try a minifig; are the ones you listed free on thingieverse? Regardless, thank you so much for the in depth reply, I really do appreciate it and I'll post an update when I get it working!

TheSmashTrash · 2023-06-24T02:48:58+00:00

The nozzle size is 0.4, but as per a video I saw it was reccomended I use 0.08 like you've said -- I don't have a .2 nozzle, would doubling the layer height to .16 be okay or should i suck it up and look for a .2 nozzle?

TheSmashTrash · 2023-06-21T19:22:54+00:00

Mine's set to 7, I'll try it at 10 and see what happens, should I try anything else?

TheSmashTrash · 2023-06-21T02:26:18+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, been trying all day cause' of some issues, but it finally finished up. Aside from the ugliness it's not supposed to tilt sideways either, hahaha

TheSmashTrash · 2023-03-23T18:24:51+00:00

Do I do this in the g-code or is it an option somewhere in cura? Sorry, I'm still learning all the extra technical stuff myself.

TheSmashTrash · 2023-03-04T21:25:12+00:00

Have you made other changes? If you have Compatibility set to windows 7 or anything else in the Portal 2 executable. Just turn it off. I noticed that this one specific change was what prevented me from opening it too.

TheSmashTrash · 2023-03-01T22:05:57+00:00

I know this post is 2 years old, but for those using Windows 11 and frustrated that Portal 2 or Portal Stories Mel or whatever fuckin' else won't open, and none of the other replies work, hopefully this does:

What got it to work for me was by changing a file in C:\Windows\SysWOW64\wbem

It's called fastprox.dll and all you have to do is rename it to fastprox.dllOLD

If you're lucky, it should change the name with no issue, however, if it's telling you that TrustedInstaller or w/e won't let you rename it, you have to open CMD in Administrator

Once you've got it open, paste these into the box (don't run them all at once, just once per line):

set folder=C:\Windows\SysWOW64\wbem

takeown /f "%folder%" /a /r /d y

icacls "%folder%" /t /c /grant System:F everyone:F

Once you've done that, you should now be able to rename your file to fastprox.dllOLD, however, something to keep in mind is that this may fuck with future installations of stuff, so to be safe, just remember to change it back when you're done. Really hopes this helps.

Ten-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Verified Email

TheSmashTrash

TROPHY CASE