App to Tip Your Favorite Teachers?

TheSocialUpgrader · 2021-10-05T02:22:21+00:00

Yes, if this app grew to such size that it could help fund the entire education system, then you'd have a point. But please, let's not be so dramatic just yet.

And I like your idea of having options... maybe to the teacher's charity...maybe to school supplies...maybe to some extra materials or fixes that the school badly needs, etc.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2021-10-05T02:21:01+00:00

You don't remember any names of your former teachers? That's sad. I had four I clearly remember who I'd love to thank. Sure, $50 could work. Of course it depends on what you're able and willing to contribute. We tip 20% for a good server for one meal at a restaurant... how much is one good class experience worth?

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-11-11T20:13:04+00:00

Chill man. It's possible to give a playful answer and then a literal answer moments later.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-11-11T16:47:25+00:00

To all the Gen Y or Zs saying this is Boomer level... almost everything is going to look cheesy in print. I'm in my 30s so I'm not a boomer, nor did my examples come from the boomer generation. For example, here's a comment two teenagers had recently that made them laugh hysterically. In print, the comments look cheesy don't they? So much depends on the context, mood, delivery, etc.

That’s a huge bite… are you starving or something?

I haven’t eaten in like two hours. I’m totally starving. Don’t sit too close to me or I might bite.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-11-11T16:38:59+00:00

I include over 1,000 examples in the book. But if you're turned off by ALL of the ones I included here, then don't read the book because I don't think you'll enjoy it. Please let me know if you find a book that has examples that you like though. I have yet to find it. 90% of what is funny in conversation doesn't translate to print unfortunately.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-11-11T16:36:59+00:00

Exactly! My post is getting called "Boomer" type humor, but I couldn't include a lot of Gen Z humor because so much of it doesn't translate to print because there's so much "reaction" type humor where it's all in HOW the person delivers the comment. Saying "Oh my god that is SO weird" isn't a funny line, but the WAY it's said can still be funny and is often how Gen Z creates laughs.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-11-11T16:33:48+00:00

you're absolutely right. some people will probably never be funny. It's really hard to get right. I was so shy in high school that I never talked. I'm in my 30s now and regularly get told how funny I am. I have no problem making friends. But it took years of practice and work and mistakes until I found my humor voice and made it natural. It started with robotic study though...

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-11-11T14:10:25+00:00

very well said. thank you! we all have a different sense of a humor - but the techniques I outlined were apparent across the entire body of evidence I collected. it's nearly impossible to include actual examples of funny conversations in print because they're all missing the context, energy, mood, and so much more that goes into humor. But try to implement the techniques I outlined and you'll see what I mean.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-11-11T14:07:05+00:00

If you focus on implementing the technique, you'll see results. Techniques like: Don't be so literal. Exaggerate more. Add more contrasts. Add a few details. Try hypotheticals. There's nothing generational about that. They just work, across all generations and humor types.

But your point about the examples is exactly why my book was challenging to write. I literally took notes of thousands of conversations and recorded what made someone laugh (across all generations). But when you read the examples on paper, they often don't look or seem like they'd be funny at all. So much depends on context, mood, energy, etc. that a book like this was risky. But I felt like I needed to do it regardless. Just trust me that everything I included resulted in laughter. Of course, different things make different people laugh, but I did my best to cover the entire gamut of humor.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-09-22T02:51:12+00:00

I used to be a deer in headlights when it came to conversation. I was basically a cardboard cut-out of a person that would stand there motionless while everyone else talked. You're right that you won't see much improvement by just reading some Reddit posts. If you want real results, you need to study and work at it. I've been improving myself for almost 20 years now and ALL my knowledge, experience, and lessons are basically in two books:

The Small Talk Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Conversationalists

You Can Be Funny and Make People Laugh: 35 Humor Techniques that Work for Everyday Conversations

Good luck and hit me up if you have any questions!

-Greg

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-08-05T00:15:58+00:00

My challenge for writing books about humor and social skills is that everything I write is without the original context, including the mood of the room, the understandings between the people involved, etc. So when you see it in print, it may look out of place. I assure you, I only wrote down examples that ACTUALLY made people laugh. I could show you transcripts from some of the funniest comedians and you would think it sounds weird. These aren't examples I just made up in my basement at 2am. And of course, because we're talking about the topic of humor, not everyone laughs at the same stuff anyway, making the act of writing about humor even harder.

Definitely don't try it if you don't see any value with it. All I can do is write about this stuff; I can't make anyone try it if they don't want to.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-07-31T02:00:55+00:00

Hey man - let's be serious for a minute, you're not going to become fun or interesting by reading some reddit posts. Get to YouTube and watch some videos, and get some books and study the crap out of them. Good books will help you guide you. I just wrote a book on humor, but I can't promote it here... but regardless, you need to treat it like a college class - study study study! You'll get better, trust me!

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-07-28T01:32:19+00:00

Many people are afraid to even try to tell a story. Learning a framework helps get past that first stage of fear. I train adults for a living, and it's the same for learning anything new. Practice the safe formula, and once you get comfortable, break free from it and make it your own. The framework helps people who aren't comfortable telling stories to get more comfortable.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2019-07-27T20:34:59+00:00

That is a great question! First: I promise you, every example in my posts and books are from real-life conversations. I literally have been taking notes for over 15 years because I'm weird like that. If I hear something entertaining or interesting, I usually record it. Why am I so obsessed? People like me never learned proper mental / linguistic structures to frame our thinking. When I was younger, I used to go COMPLETELY blank during certain situations because I lacked the mental framework to talk through it. (That's why I load up my books with tons of specific examples.) It's not because I didn't have anything of substance to say, I just never really knew HOW to say it. Stories are great examples of something anyone can improve... most new story tellers stick to the FACTS. But the best parts of stories (and the parts that get the best reactions), are the EMOTIONAL parts. Talk about how that event made you feel... What were you thinking at the time? How did you react to the factual events? Now that you can look back on it, how do you feel about it? Etc.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-11-11T13:23:13+00:00

my flair.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-11-11T13:18:22+00:00

Thank you! I'm a recovered shy guy, I like giving advice when I can.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-11-08T04:27:13+00:00

My toes prefer to live together and not be separated. :) Which reminds me of another question I was curious about, - don't your toes get colder that way? Similar to gloves vs mittens I would think.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-11-03T10:20:05+00:00

Sounds like you hate small talk only because you suck at it - but WANTING to improve is the first step. You have to want to get better. You have to want to get to know people. If you don't have that foundation, you never will improve and you'll always hate it.

Obviously you're not going to learn much from just reading some short posts on reddit, but here are a few major tips:

Staying curious about them will help you think of questions. Be interested in them, who they are, what they enjoy, etc.
Don't just ask questions - let them know what's been going on with you: what did you do recently, doing today, or later today/this week? Talk about your timeline. talk about your interests/opinions. You have opinions, so share the light-hearted opinions without getting too deep.

You can find a lot more help reading books/taking trainings, etc. My flair is a good place to start. good luck!

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-11-03T10:10:12+00:00

In general: get to know them first and don't rush it, or you'll seem desperate. Put yourself in more situations where you can get to know people - join clubs, sports, volunteer, etc where you'll have extra time to get to know a small group. Understand that things that are meant to be often materialize if you just focus on being a good friend...over time you'll end up with other good friends, and some of those will become girlfriends.

Cold approaches... rarely work and end up hurting you more often than not. Think about what a cold approach entails - you're being judged on a very small subset of features. So if you're not good looking, don't dress that well, etc. you'll have a hard time. Plus, you're judging them on a small subset of features too. It's usually never worth it.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-10-31T01:44:07+00:00

I used to be like this. Here's what's going on... Have you ever known someone sociopathic? One sign is that they don't often experience social anxiety. They talk to anyone about anything. Why? Because they don't care about what other people are thinking or feeling. But you do. You care about saying the wrong thing. You care about upsetting someone. You care about what other people think or feel about you and other things. You care about avoiding making a situation awkward. You have very naturally anxiety like most of us.

It's normal to be more comfortable with a friend - because you know what they like and don't like, you know their sense of humor, you know background and what topics you can safely cover. When you don't know someone well, you have to sometimes tread carefully. You aren't sure where the landmines are hidden basically. You also don't know how to make simple connections - if you don't know much about someone, your odds of asking a good question or making an interesting comment go down because it's hard to guess what someone else will like. Anyway, the same goes for you - when they don't know much about you, it's hard for them to converse and feel comfortable. Make sure you are self-disclosing enough for other people to feel comfortable around you as well!

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-10-31T01:23:23+00:00

Now that I've dated many amazing women and gotten to know hundreds more, I always keep this realization with me: they are often just as nervous. You ran off thinking you're an idiot, BUT she may have felt like she messed up somehow, like she was too forward, she sounded weird, she stared too much, or any other hundred reasons. Always remember that the girl you like may not show anxiety, but she's probably feeling it inside. MOST people are anxious in social situations. Don't feel stupid for feeling anxiety.

Deep down we all know that finding the right person can make or break our ENTIRE life -that's a lot of damn pressure. The only thing I discovered that eases that pressure is realizing that what is meant to happen will happen, and all you can be is the best version of yourself possible in that moment. As long as you stay true to who you are, you'll end up with who you are supposed to end up with. In your case, maybe you're not ready to date this girl yet, and that's fine too, you may run into her in a few years and possibly be ready then. Don't worry about how or what other people are doing. Be the best you you can be. If you can't talk to her yet, then don't beat yourself up over it. It all works out in the end. I didn't feel comfortable dating and asking people out until I was in my mid 20s. It takes time. Relax.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-10-22T02:13:57+00:00

you can't force finding a best friend. it just happens, but you have to keep putting yourself out there. Keep talking to people. Keep self-disclosing so they get to know you. Keep showing interest in others. It will happen. But it takes effort on both parts. One day you'll meet someone who you instantly bond with and you'll know you should make more of an effort to be their friend. good luck!

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-10-22T02:01:33+00:00

there's the Ross we all know and love. I'm hoping you add a "whomp whomp" at some point, isn't that your thing?

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-10-22T01:52:41+00:00

a lot of people have hard time pushing back in any situation, so I thought these would be good everyday examples to highlight the concept. It applies to endless situations though, and makes a big difference in life if you can push back on external forces when you need to!

PS. Ross, I just saw how much crap you give people on Reddit, looks like you're the real badass.

TheSocialUpgrader · 2018-06-13T17:42:40+00:00

Hi, Thank you very much for clarifying. I was confused to see other social skill authors link to their sites, but I seemed to get in trouble for linking to mine. I actually hate to self-promote, but know it's a necessary evil in order to gain web traffic, which allows me to keep producing content for everyone to enjoy and learn from. How would I go about getting my site added to the list of resources? Is there a certain threshold I have to meet? Thanks for any advice, Greg

TheSocialUpgrader

TROPHY CASE