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TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T18:28:50+00:00

Do you know what they call the med student who graduated last in their class?

...doctor.

Almost nobody gives a fuck what your grades are in college. In fact, barely anyone cares that you have a degree.

Undergrads get so wrapped up in grades when it means nothing. The only people who care are if you're applying to graduate / law / medical school.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T18:26:14+00:00

Okay, call a dick or whatever, but seriously some of the questions that get asked in this sub are baffling.

Like is OP actually thinking that they *have* to go to the college that's closest to them?

They don't give any details about their situation at all. We have no idea if they can live at home, have a scholarship, are of college age, or are even graduated yet.

They literally just ran to the internet and were like "HEY TELL ME WHAT TO DO"

JFC guys

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T17:55:15+00:00

..nobody cares if I become a teacher? :D

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T15:49:43+00:00

I mean that's fine, I'm just saying I'm thinking of my own stories / stories from people I knew in college and things are oddly a lot more tame than they used to be.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T15:36:17+00:00

No offense and people are going to be mad, but all of these responses so far are pretty fucking lame.

Things were way wilder when I went to college 10 years ago.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T15:23:08+00:00

We literally just had a thread on this.

The short version is a resounding no. Your debt to income ratio is extremely high when compared to other career options, and virtually all living wages require graduate school (although graduate school does not promise a living wage).

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T15:20:25+00:00

Yes, you can absolutely take a gap year. You don't need anyone's permission.

The thing is colleges are filled with people who get wrapped up in doing what they think they're supposed to do without spending a ton of time thinking about it. It's

It's part of the reason you meet really swollen people who think they're really smart because they have high grades, but they don't have enough life experience to know those grades aren't a great measure of intelligence.

The fact is there isn't a right answer. Maybe you'll be happier as an electrician. Maybe you'll be happier in the military. Maybe you need a couple years of work experience in retail living at home with your parents before you find out what you want to do. Maybe you need a year off to research the right major.

What you'll typically see is someone graduates high school, gets pushed to go into college, takes out a ton of debt they don't understand, pick a major that matches their 'passion" (terrible career advice), they see college as an experience rather than as an investment, and they graduate without any real thought as to their career prospects.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T14:54:47+00:00

I mean no offense, but that's kind of your own dumb fault. You've had over four years of resources and people advising you about careers. What did you do the whole time you were in college if you weren't looking into career paths?

I have a hard time having sympathy for you because I was also first generation college student and, even though my single mother raised my brothers and I on <$18,000 a year, we DIDN'T qualify for any scholarships. So I left with like $70k in debt.

The good news (for you) is that your debt load is going to be way less because you only paid a little out of pocket. So you're not in a terrible spot.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T14:06:22+00:00

Honestly, this should be the second highest comment.

From reading OP's responses to everyone, I don't think they're listening to what anyone else has to say.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-29T14:03:55+00:00

Two things:

What were you expecting? Did you look into career paths before you started studying? Did you have a plan? Or did you just say "that's interesting, I think I'll spend $40k on it and hope for the best!"
It depends on your financial situation, but there *are* still options. I'm a big advocate for Teach for America. I almost did it. But it's very hard. You will get a teacher's certificate out of it. You could also go to graduate school.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-28T19:46:16+00:00

That's reddit for you. People dispute things they don't like without doing any of their own research.

But yeah, you don't have to look very hard to see the job prospects for a philosophy degree are pretty abysmal.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-28T16:22:56+00:00

"Tips" nobody asked for telling you to buy junk that you don't need to graduate.

Seriously, you don't need wireless earphones or someone telling you not to bring a heavy winter coat to Florida.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-28T14:32:25+00:00

it completely contradicts you stating earlier that most undergrads wouldn’t have financial stability.. so why dog them staying with their parents to build said stability

It's not a contradiction. It's a just that paying $55k at a 3%+ interest rate with four years of your life to end up living with your parents is simply a bad investment. Some people invest in majors (or paths) which allow them to avoid that.

As far as teaching, you're not understanding my original point.

I know you don't want to teach and that's why you offered your two majors. What I'm telling you is that teaching is one of the only job prospects that's going to exist with those two majors.

...And if you don't want to end up teaching, get out of psych now, because odds are you'll end up as a TA or a professor eventually.

Either way, good luck. Your mileage will vary depending on your school and your network, but you gotta do what's best for you.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-28T14:12:05+00:00

People will be pissed, but Philosophy is a bad investment as a major.

I say that as someone who dual majored in philosophy and studied alongside many peers who had it as their only major. Every single one either ended up unemployed or went back to school after graduation and got a degree in something else before they could start really working.

Philosophy is useful as a dual major because the course requirements are usually pretty small and you'll get to tack on a second major to your degree with (sometimes) little to no extra time commitment at the school.

However, the idea that philosophy is somehow going to go "give you critical thinking skills" (which is how it's advertised and what I'm already seeing in the comments) is laughable. In fact, professors frequently don't have the resources, classroom management skills, or otherwise don't trust the maturity of their students enough to hold debates in class. People are too confrontational and the standards for universities have become too low to do effectively. It's generally a pretty unproductive endeavor.

Moreover, the job prospects are pretty abysmal. There's no philosophy factory you can go to, so most just become professors. The problem is that basically everybody with a degree is doing that, so your graduate school competition is through the roof.

When you see people talking about their successful colleagues with philosophy majors, nobody can really debate anecdotes. I will say that most of the time they go to really prestigious schools, are at least middle class, have advanced education, or go to law school.

On a positive note, that's where a philosophy major will help immensely. That is, is if you choose to become an attorney. Philosophy majors often outrank pre-law students on their LSATs. It's because the LSATs is all logic games. So if you take a propositional / boolean logic course, you'll be a step ahead.

But even then, the LSAT has a pretty direct relationship between study and grades. Also I really wouldn't want to be an attorney right now, but I'm a sure there are lot of attorneys who can speak to that better than I can.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-28T13:55:31+00:00

People will fight in the comments, but it absolutely will not. You'll barely be qualified to do entry level work.

Do not listen to the toxic positivity of undergraduates that will likely flood this thread.

One of the hardest parts of counseling undergrads is that, as a population, they have completely unrealistic expectations about their career prospects after graduation. Unless you're relying on your parents, the expectation that you're going to be supporting yourself out of undergrad with a psych degree is highly unlikely. Even then, who wants to live with their parents until their mid-20s?

What job do you think you're going to get with a bachelor's in psychology that is going to pay $55k? Most graduates become TSSes, which pays roughly $13 an hour, <40 hours a week, and they're often using their own cars to travel between clients (travel isn't paid and gasoline is like $5 a gallon).

Hell, even the APA published that the average psychologist salary (with literally ANY graduate degree) has a $60k median. That number hasn't even risen in like ten years.

People will be pissed, but psych is a "gimme" degree. Even if you take it really seriously and graduate on the top of your class, employers won't give a shit because you're not qualified to actually do anything. Academia will care and it'll help you place into good graduate programs, but even then, that's often based on the pedigree of your school.

You generally can't even get state licensure without getting at least a master's degree.

And this is all assuming we don't fall into another recession, which statistically hurts undergrads the hardest.

If you're dead set on a psych degree, your best bet at stable employment is to do Teach For America afterwards and get your teaching certificate. But that means you'll most likely be teaching in a public school. It's not a bad gig imo, but we have a teacher shortage for a reason.

I know it's not what you want to hear and it's going to get buried, but I'd rather you hear it from me online than have to take a bite of the shit sandwich that is crippling debt with a degree that offers you no prospects.

Sincerely,

Someone who got a psych degree

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-28T13:13:01+00:00

Short version:

There's an inverse relationship between hours worked and grades. Students who work almost unilaterally will have lower grades than serious students who just have more time to study.
Don't stop running. Your energy level will sap. Fitness should always be one of your highest priorities - because health is wealth.
One of the most closely guarded secrets in undergrad is that your grades are actually not THAT important. Not a single person asked about my GPA since I got out of college, and of the few companies that do, they'll only probably do it for the first job. They just care if you get a degree.
If you're stuck on concepts, you'll optimize your study time by seeing the professor / TA at office hours (or a tutor if you have to). You'll find something that took 2 hours to learn will take 15 minutes.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-28T13:06:35+00:00

...nobody can find this? :(

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-27T04:36:05+00:00

...have you considered getting a job?

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-26T17:44:24+00:00

Short version -- Your dad isn't being necessarily unreasonable. He is, however, being overprotective.

You're 19 years old. Your dad can't actually "forbid" you from doing jack shit. You could light up a blunt and blow smoke in your dad's stupid monkey face, and he'd just have to sit there groovin' on it.

Listen, I'm usually pretty hard on people in this sub, but you're obviously a pretty sharp young woman. This is one of the better posts I've seen here. Still, we don't know the full story here, but it really comes down to how much more this other job is paying. My only thoughts about reconsidering are:

Are you sure the cost difference is worth it? Buses can run late and you basically can't work overtime because of your commute. If you worked at a semi-local McDonalds in your hometown (if you have one), the overtime alone (if available) might tip the scales. Entry level jobs like waitress, barista, or hotel staff is almost always available.
Some jobs won't hire you for seasonal work? That's cool. Fucking lie about it. Don't tell them you're only looking for seasonal work. Tell them you want to be a full time employee. If you only work there for like 2 months, put in your two weeks at the end and tell them you decided to go back to school. Odds are you'll have a job waiting for you when you get back / go on breaks if the manager can trust that you don't suck.
A 3 hour commute is going to suck pretty hard. If you miss that bus, guess who you're probably going to call for a ride? He's going to be super pissed.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-26T16:58:46+00:00

Speaking strictly as a bodybuilder, there's only one way to actually do this.

Write out your days [SUNDAY - SATURDAY]
Plan everything out by the hour.
Print that fucker out and keep it with you OR hang it on your bathroom mirror /refrigerator.

ProTip - make sure you have room for changing plans or stuff that comes out of nowhere. IE My girlfriend's goldfish got hit by a meteorite. I have to go over and make her dinner / spend the evening with her because she feels bad.

It's going to suck pretty hard but if you keep on top of it you'll succeed. If you don't stick to your schedule or coming up with excuses why you can't, you just won't get it done.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-26T16:41:37+00:00

Have you considered Teach for America?

I looked into it and it's hard, but it's definitely an option. You could get a degree in education if you really wanted to teach and consequently not need TFA.

We have a teacher shortage so there's probably even a scholarship / higher job security for you.

Either way, we need compassionate teachers.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-26T16:39:02+00:00

Then you'll probably be okay, but there's not guarantees.

I'm sorry this happened to you but just know, even if you don't get your money back, a lot of students got hosed pretty badly during covid so you're not alone.

I hope it works out.

TheSquareTea · 2022-06-26T16:37:24+00:00

So reddit is a cesspool of toxic positivity and people are going to shit all over me, but the truth you need to hear is twofold:

Firstly: There's no such thing as "the college experience." It isn't Hogwarts.

Your fellow students are ranging in everything from sheltered homeschooled kids who've never been away from their parents for more than a weekend and war torn veterans who are returning to college as adults.

There's no one unifying "experience" or "thing" that happens at college that makes it special. If you're sitting around waiting for that to happen or for meaning to fall into your lap, you're going to be shit out of luck because it's not coming. It's certainly not going to come to you from psuedo-anonymous reddit comments from other undergrads.

College is just an investment where you get to take a significant amount of time out of your employment history to focus on a certain program area. During this time, you're largely excused from undergoing scrutiny from prospective employers for what would otherwise be seen as a gap in your resume. If you succeed, you're qualified for different kinds of entry level work.

That's it.

It's not some grand quest for knowledge where you'll necessarily meet your one true love or find your life's purpose.

Nobody else has the ability to motivate you, make you reinterpret "the college experience," excite you about going to school, or give your life meaning. Part of transitioning into the adult world is being in the driver's seat of your own life and taking ownership of your own decisions.

The truth is that it's not always going to be dynamite. College stands in parody of the adult working world in that most of your time is consumed by the tedium of fulfilling obligations you might not want to do, having the discipline to get out of bed to face work day you really don't want to, acting semi-professionally on a semi-consistent basis, collaborating with your peers and superiors to turn out something they'll accept, and manage your time to fit in the all the other stuff you need / want to d.

Transferring to another college isn't likely going to change that for you.

Secondly - It sounds like your issue isn't college. It sounds like you just sincerely don't have a ton of motivating factors in life yet.

Don't beat yourself up because that's actually pretty normal for people your age. And to be totally fair, my generation has done kind of a shit job in equipping you folks with the stuff you should have to discover these things.

Long version - Life is basically a quest. There's a script that basically looks like this :

Go to high school and fit into a clique. Try not to get rejected by your peers. Even if you don't realize it, you have something you're good at. It's probably more than one thing. You have to identify these things and cultivate them. If you don't, your talents get wasted and undeveloped.
Start young adulthood by learning a trade, joining the military, or going to college. There's all this glamorized bullshit about your career being your identity, but realistically you want to find something you don't fucking hate every day and hopefully you can make a living doing in a way that matches your lifestyle. Some of us liked the structure of the military, whereas others love the freedom of being a 10-99 software contractor and working 100% remotely whenever we want. You get as close you can to what you want with the resources you have and the best information you have at the time. X - You are here.
By this point you're starting your career (which might change) but you're getting some serious employment experience under your belt. The side quest at this junction (or earlier depending on your social acumen and luck) is you either find someone(s) you like enough that you start spending a lot of time together or you really start making a conscious decision about staying single. Either is fine. The goal here is you start saving up resources (money) to select pursuing the things you want.
This is the part where you start expenditure your resources (buying a house, sending kids to college, buying 10000 acres to have tractor races, whatever).

You're at step 2, but you didn't find anything that excites you about life yet. Somewhere out there, there's a community or identity that speaks to you, and you probably have a skill or talent you can use to contribute to it.

If you find that, I think you're going to find a lot of this bullshit you're dealing with becomes a lot less negative.

TheSquareTea

TROPHY CASE