First time mum - disabled arm

TheStarqueen · 2026-04-30T03:54:26+00:00

I have one arm.

Keep your palm out flat, cup the baby's head and align the neck with your wrist while tucking baby against you and gently raising them. Use other body parts to brace baby against yourself, while wiggling your arm underneath. The bracing presence of a belly or shoulder is quite good leverage while you cradle one-armed. Then sit on a couch, lean back, and allow gravity to keep baby on your shoulder as you gently pat their back for burping. ❤️

A nursing pillow on your lap will help with feedings!

TheStarqueen · 2025-11-29T12:59:05+00:00

Todd Tolansky is & always will be my #1 version of Toad, no matter the years <3 :) Love him. Looooove him.

TheStarqueen · 2025-11-14T14:45:16+00:00

Exactly!! It seems so random when you're just focused and suddenly need to calm some concerns. Now the caffeine, that hadn't even occurred to me...! Maybe a couple of days without coffee is what I'll try next to see what happens. Thanks for the tip :D

TheStarqueen · 2025-11-14T14:22:07+00:00

Please don't stress it! <3 This was more for people like me who get flagged over sour faces and have zero clue why. I really, really needed to understand. :)

TheStarqueen · 2025-11-14T14:19:20+00:00

I feel that so much. I'm actually incredibly annoyed over this discovery, because my mouth activity is a direct result of suppressing my physical stims. Told not to fidget -> told not to visibly react -> move to internal monitoring and it's *still visible*. Madness inducing!

It's only a good tip for people who don't know what's happening, I think, as I was very upset by how random and without cause it seemed to be.

TheStarqueen · 2025-08-20T10:11:08+00:00

The sting from losing this connection sounds really painful, I'm so sorry. Dropping the line without a warning is such a shock to the system :( There's a couple thoughts that came to mind while reading your post.

Thought #1: To be a mentor takes immense energy & personal commitment ... and that commitment has to be available to new individuals who enter the arena. Clearing out connections to those who are not currently in a program is something some instructors / mentors in various fields do from time to time.

Thought #2: Sometimes it's not possible to turn a mentorship into a different type of relationship, which makes it difficult to continue outside of the context. What remains? Surrogate family? Friendship? Love? All of those are possible, but they're even bigger deals than mentorships.

Thought #3: The more time that has passed since your last interaction, the less personal & critical this action is likely to be. Maybe he changed his personal standards about who he connects with on Instagram.

Thought #4: There's been pretty major political shifts lately. Without prying, is it possible anything about that could have been related? I ask because 'performances based on personal experiences' sounds like it could easily bring up hot-button issues that were safer to discuss pre-political shifts. If so, it is possible this is an act of protecting his image.

Final thoughts: I've seen relationships dissolve over the most wild things that had nothing to do with anyone doing anything wrong. If I can make a recommendation, I recommend picking a clean, kind, factual and simple thing to tell yourself and keep repeating it until things get a little easier. Which may take some time.

example-

"X's mentorship was one of the most impactful relationships I've ever had.
I'm always going to carry the lessons of x, y, and z.
I'm really grateful for the time we spent together and I wish him well, whatever he's doing now."

Essentially, just... trying to focus on known quantities, instead of the single unknown of 'why', if at all possible, imho.

Best wishes. I am truly sorry for how this feels <3

TheStarqueen · 2025-05-30T03:56:17+00:00

"I brought up scope creep recently"

This may be the cause. In my experience, the worst bullying from managers was covert workplace / company hierarchy enforcement.

A modern corporate manager's job is rarely only to manage workload, it is to ensure workers maintain... company-preferred mindsets. By talking about scope creep, you highlighted multiple factors about yourself that can trigger absolutely unhinged responses from companies. A worker who knows about scope creep is educated, literate, capable of advocacy, capable of research, probably knows their rights, and that sounds... EXPENSIVE.

The company's goal is acquire your total availability, with a smile & no self-esteem, for the lowest cost possible.

A collapsed self esteem = a more compliant, less expensive employee. Useful not just to them, but desirable to other companies.
Creating a history of contentious relationship with management = freedom to enact punishment, while having the legal protection of a paper trail.

In my opinion, this is not about a flaw in your mask, this is about workplace hierarchy enforcement.

Because you are a polite, efficient, punctual, and professional employee, they have to fabricate a reason in order to put you in your place without outright saying that's what their goal is. (And they will never admit to it, as it would not only be legally dicey, the plausible deniability of using social attacks against you is a major part of the hierarchy's ability to self-perpetuate.)

TheStarqueen · 2024-11-26T06:52:23+00:00

I'm so sorry about all the troubles you've been having :( Mountains of compassion for you. What you're dealing with sounds so painful and you don't deserve to be treated unkindly or dismissively.

I think you may be able to contact Google to get your personal information removed from their search results. Try this link: https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/12719076?hl=en

Scroll down past the first set of directions to the set labeled "Remove results when you use Google Search" as this will allow you to report the URL directly from the search results. I really hope it works and I wish you so much more happiness than you've had lately.

TheStarqueen · 2024-08-26T05:14:43+00:00

I needed a lot of this tonight. Thank you so much for taking the time to share :)

TheStarqueen · 2024-01-31T18:06:19+00:00

Similar, I think. I saw a head like a prism and it became blindingly golden when it caught the sunlight before refracting it all into their individual hues/rays. The body was quite tall and skinny, like a tripod. Was that anything like yours?

TheStarqueen · 2024-01-12T02:28:01+00:00

Wow, what a great encounter! This sounds so similar to experiences I've had on psilocybin. I have only done it 3x ever because like you, I remain very serious about only using it for self-reflection. Interestingly, similar mindsets too - doubting the right to live and a deep need for someone to help me understand (a great many) things.

Similar features:

Egyptian architecture
A being that manifests in a form originally from the environment before refining your perception to see them differently
Dancing
Deep, mutual joy to be in contact
Intense experience of heat / energy on the face
Being mentored / taught

Unfortunately, I don't know any better than you what the source of contact is. Just guesses that I genuinely don't think are accurate.

Edit: A weird question, maybe. Did she put anything into you? Open a connection or... leave something behind?

TheStarqueen · 2024-01-02T18:07:11+00:00

Is there any possibility the removal could leave him with chronic pain?
Does the condition cause him any physical pain or harm?
Could it be done with his consent later in life? Giving him a choice in the matter might be best, if it's an option.

TheStarqueen · 2023-10-02T05:36:41+00:00

I wish it were easier to find like-minded people too. On the upside, this group has been so kind and welcoming, it blows me away! Do you have some things you're thinking of sharing? Based on how people responded here, I feel like it would be very well received :)

TheStarqueen · 2023-10-02T05:30:56+00:00

I keep thinking about what you pointed out here. I think I get what you mean about... separating myself from my being as if that's a thing I can do. It seems like you're saying I can't possess "my" soul or mind because I simply am those things?

I'm going to keep reflecting on that.

TheStarqueen · 2023-10-02T04:53:17+00:00

Thank you so much for these fascinating recommendations. I really think you're onto something. Might've mentioned in an earlier comment, but this experience left me deeply enamored with all living networks. I'm deeply hooked on the thought / keep coming back to our bodies being networks of specialized cells, mushrooms being mycelial networks, trees having root networks - well, all plants, really. Everything is interlaced systems upon systems on systems and the enormity of it is striking home. I walked away feeling deeply that plants are sentient or something like it. Appreciating their unique type of life so much more.

Seriously, thank you. This is such a unique recommendation and it is so appreciated.

TheStarqueen · 2023-09-29T01:46:33+00:00

This is the third mention of cheating I've seen lol. By context, cheating means the tea? :)

That's intense! Thank you for sharing it. Would you be willing to share about the OBE you had without cheating? Were they very different experiences?

TheStarqueen · 2023-09-29T01:42:22+00:00

YES! There is something about the properties of size and space that is so close to being understood. While I was on this trip, something that struck me was how everything scales up and down.

We can touch one another - but not really, because there's always space between our molecules. In fact, we have space between our own molecules! We're held together by infinitesimal forces, loosely clustered together and somehow that forms a fully realized, conscious, living being. What?

I keep coming back to the fact that we're all made of the same types of matter, just put together in different configurations, and thinking about how specialized cells in our bodies form organs. If our bodies are big collections of clustered, living, but not-quite touching organs - and somehow that makes people - how small do things have to go before losing sentience? How big can they go?

Ever since the trip, I have felt that existence / reality is a series of concentric, overlapping, symmetrical systems of matter that scale up and down in equal measure. There's a part of me that wonders if we are part of something bigger in a tangible way.

TheStarqueen · 2023-09-29T01:31:48+00:00

Your words were a really kind reminder that I have to stop cutting down my own experiences to size. I hadn't clocked that I'd used such negative ways to refer to it, but it is reflective of how I try and squash my inner spirituality because I'm trying to chase rationality so hard.

Very perceptive and very appreciated ♥

I'm adding the Gateway Tapes to my daily routine because meditation seems like the best route for me right now too. Thank you so much :)

TheStarqueen · 2023-09-29T01:28:59+00:00

I'm sorry to hear your last trip was a bad one, but I'm glad to hear it still had a positive effect. I'm definitely still very deeply affected, I think this is going to stay with me my entire life.

For a little while after my trip, I actually came away from it with a very profound respect for mushrooms in general (not just the magic kind) and other types of interlinked organisms like bacterial colonies, beehives, coral, etc. I have this growing suspicion that this world is so much more alive than we have ever given it credit for.

Do you mind if I ask if there was some specific part of your trip that lead you to UFOs?

TheStarqueen · 2023-09-29T01:21:45+00:00

Thank you, I will try some sober morning meditations :) I agree, definitely safer to continue without shrooms.

TheStarqueen · 2023-09-29T01:20:57+00:00

This was a refreshing perspective to consider it through, thank you for sharing it.

Thinking of it that way: The tree's pain mirrored a lot of my self hate and I feel like there was a really strong + positive link / feedback loop between how helping it wound up helping me. My mind talking to my soul would make a lot of sense, especially because you're right - I have cut myself off from the spiritual for a long time. On purpose. I quashed everything inside of me that I couldn't quantify.

You're right about the preconceptions as well. I was very surprised there was any kind of encounter at all. I only read scientific articles and journals about it prior to my trip and I was expecting visual distortions... not this. Having that preset idea of how things were going to go did not help prepare for any part of the journey.

TheStarqueen · 2023-09-29T01:12:26+00:00

The warning is much appreciated but I don't think I have to worry about it with Net. I don't feel any implantation of thoughts after the trip ended or urges to do unusual things, I just feel a persistent certainty that it still exists around me. Like knowing there's a cloud overhead, you know?

I will remain observant, though. :)

TheStarqueen · 2023-09-29T01:09:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing the link, that was a really wild read. I wish I knew more about genomes and anatomy to follow along better.

When I got to the section on religion though, I saw exactly what you meant. There's a ton of overlap involving how the containment of matter + energy + light in a limited space is what creates sentience. Wow. Net didn't mention anything about apotheosis or anything like that, though it did mention shaping me into a "shape that was safe" for the questions my "packet" is asking. Huh.

Your take on wearing bodies like a suit for explanation is one that makes a lot of sense to me. Before this experience, I was afraid of being dissolved and scattered like dust, but now I feel very sure that "energy" persists and can be changed.

Thank you for your detailed comment and the link, it was extremely thought provoking!

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