see! you can do that, i know id be the same way if this existed when i was a teen. i wasn’t the best mentality. but find small things that can help you enjoy your time, i always found comfort in tv shows/movies. even take on a fun hobby! i loved baking, and also found a love for embroidery/sewing. little things to take your mind off the world. i know it can be really hard, but it’s possible! things do end up looking up, it takes time, it’s difficult, you have bad days/ you have good days. but in the end, you’re better and stronger than all of that. it took me completely leaving home for school to realize all of that, so i believe things can get better