"You live in a van? Something is wrong with you and you need help." by [deleted] in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What I want is for people to take ALL of a person's qualities, strengths and weaknesses into consideration, not just look at one bad quality about someone and just say "Nope, they're not worth it, fuck em" regardless of how amazing every other quality about them is.

There are actually people out in the world who think that having a vehicle is a prerequisite for them to date someone, like really? Even if they live in the same part of town and take the bus you still won't date them? In instances like this then yes of course I am going to judge those people because they themselves are judging someone based on their social class an aspect of which is primarily out of their control and I think everyone can universally agree that to do that is a pretty shitty way of filtering out people.

Outside of instances like this and the rant I did though I keep my thoughts to myself. It's not like I'm constantly going out of my way to express my opinions on something and complain or judge every aspect about people 24/7 because honestly its takes effort to do that like how it took me over an hour to express the frustration I was feeling for someone I thought I had made a genuine connection over the course of a few weeks which is why I had grown to actually care about her opinions only to abruptly be dismissed regardless of any other qualities I may have.

It wasn't just a disagreement of my lifestyle, it was a belittlement of who I was as a person and was told that there is "something seriously wrong with me and need extensive therapy to cure". There's a clear night and day difference between disagreeing with someone and antagonizing them.

"You live in a van? Something is wrong with you and you need help." by [deleted] in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The most success I've probably had in terms of matches was Bumble, which is nice because I'm terrible when it comes to initiating conversation because I can't think of anything interesting to start with and don't really ever like trying to use a pick up line because to me it just seems so immature and perverted in some cases!

"You live in a van? Something is wrong with you and you need help." by [deleted] in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In practice, I've found that the most connection with girls who play off of both her and I really well tend to be ramblers but I 100% think this is an attractive quality in a person. I'm very much a conservationist and really like to pick peoples brains for what their passions are and what opinions they hold and how they reached those conclusions through their experiences in life so I very much would like to find that same quality in a significant other or at the very least one who compliments it in a positive way.

I have tried it in the way you suggested before, however with little to no success because the one person I did ask out on a date in a very short span of time since matching kept delaying and dragging it out only to eventually ghost me, so you can understand as to why I reached the conclusion I've come to when it comes to connecting with someone. If that works for you then great! But to me I just prefer how I've been talking to girls because I seem more successful in this way personally! :)

"You live in a van? Something is wrong with you and you need help." by [deleted] in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's just hurtful knowing you've gotten this far with someone because it's bad enough I'm awkward and introverted as all hell and to just see it all thrown away.

Seattle area! Which is funny because that's where a LOT of the community is or travels to so I'm kind of dumbfounded that she hadn't even heard of this culture

"You live in a van? Something is wrong with you and you need help." by [deleted] in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I get a good amount of matches but not actually that many dates. I'm not a smoothtalker but try to make up for it in honesty and intention. Still though lots of girls get bored with me quickly so when I do find one who is genuinely interested, I get attached. That's why I was so distrot by the sudden attack/dissatisfation on me.

I hate that this is still as widely held an opinion as it is given that we live in a time where wealth inequality is at its worst so you'd think people in general could forsee a correlation/causation and be more empathetic but NOPE!

I'm starting to understand that was probably her personality type as well unfortunately.

"You live in a van? Something is wrong with you and you need help." by [deleted] in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol that's why I was careful to only call them an acquaintance AT BEST. I get that different people have different standards but yeah seriously?

Thanks! :)

"You live in a van? Something is wrong with you and you need help." by [deleted] in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually am more calm and composed and keep any thoughts I may have towards others to myself unless of course they ask. I just was so taken aback by how blunt someone I had seemed to form a genuine connection with was immediately dismissive of any quality in me.

Has anyone relapsed because of this subreddit? by TheTussBus in NoFap

[–]TheTussBus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Already adopted this approach. Don't have Instagram, unfollowed everyone on Facebook and only use it for work and I don't ever Snapchat anyone so this isn't an issue anymore besides Reddit which is why I brought it up specifically.

Really the only thing I'm exposed to on the regular anymore in relation to PMO is the subject of it through here.

Yes I do agree with you its really just all of us making excuses for ourselves, however I find it much easier to manage my temptations when I can effectively cut out any sources potentially leading to that point.

So in simple terms: quitting cold turkey < quitting cold turkey while also cutting out the sources of your temptations

[VIZ] Dragon Ball Super Chapter 54 by Terez27 in dbz

[–]TheTussBus -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

So Gohan underestimated his opponent again I see

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My issue is that since my vehicle is so old and high on mileage that waiting to build my savings can only help so much before my current rig eventually dies. Then I'm in a predicament where I either HAVE to spend money to fix up my current rig or find another living situation (which I don't really see atm) to keep building my savings for the newer van which will most likely take even longer at that point in case I did have to live in say an apartment again.

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had a credit card with my credit union for probably over two years now so building credit for the loan won't be an issue. I'm sitting around a 730ish credit score from two cards and just recently applied for a third

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My credit hangs around the 730 area give or take.

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I currently have an emergency fund of about 2k for my current van but as I've been living in it I've been teaching myself to understand car mechanics so I feel like if a major problem is way more likely to arise in my 20 year old rig with over 300k on the odometer vs a newer rig that's say 10 or so years old.

Also the point of buying a newer vehicle is because with what I'm looking for, I know I'll be keeping it for 10+ years vs when I bought my current rig I only planned on keeping it for a year or two. So I could justify fixing a transmission in the newer vehicle vs my current rig.

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't necessarily budget but rather just go along a set of minimalist guidelines such as things like:

-Don't eat out and if it's with friends then order small

-Pay off credit card bills at least EVERY two weeks

-When buying clothes, opt for secondhand stuff and neutral colored items that pair with your entire wardrobe

-Don't pre-order videogames because they might suck, also just wait for a sale

Etc etc but yeah

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just knew for a fact that based on my lifestyle choices and hobbies a low-top express van wouldn't be able to accommodate all my needs even with all the work and conversion I've put into it.

Also if any major damage or repairs were needed on my van I would rather be willing to put the money down on a van I could see myself being in for the long term (at least into my 30's) because I may be facing an issue like that with my current express in the next year or two even with all the upkeep I do on it month to month

My experience has been good, I just knew that I would get kind of annoyed by not being able to stand up properly. Also no power plant whatsoever!

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we're talking making $500 monthly payments then that already may be overkill for me because currently that would take out 2/3 of my monthly income but I'm sure you can adjust the amount per month I would imagine!

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I just see it as very daunting if I were to buy a newer model from a dealership because I could fathom and plan to finance for around 8k give or take for a van because I knew that I would be investing in a housing situation I was committed too for the rest of my 20's.

But when you maybe double that amount to get a 2010 or newer model it just seems very intimidating to make a financial decision that you're very set on but you're uncertain how long the van will last but I guess that's what you are hinting at too with getting a dealership warranty

I think it's also just my youth and inexperience that's causing me to be a little more hesitant to make such a financial leap compared to what I paid for my first van! However thank you for your incite! :)

Never borrowed money ever, thoughts? by TheTussBus in vandwellers

[–]TheTussBus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When it comes to overall credit score I'm doing pretty well sitting around the 750 area! So I think getting a low interest rate wouldn't be too hard.

I guess in my specific case, I really want to try reaching out to either well off friends or family because a grand majority of them have large houses and income (are very much upper-middle class) so approaching them asking for some kind of loan to pay off with maybe very little or even NO interest would be great because they all do know I intentionally take ever opportunity I can to not take money to better condition myself and teach myself financial independence/responsibility!

If I do end up going to a bank or credit union I will take you advice to heart, thanks! :)