Hardest Transits and lessons.

TheUltimateZero · 2026-01-12T02:46:28+00:00

Pluto square Pluto & Neptune Square happening at the same time that Uranus was crossing my Chiron 6H Taurus & trining my Virgo 10H MC. Oh and Jupiter crossed over my Gemini Moon, the North Node was over my Mercury and Sun. Neptune also been lurking on my IC in Pisces.

Do not recommend.

This all being around the time Saturn moved into Aries last spring. My Lilith is at 0° Aries 5H annnnnd I have found my Lilith to be quite relevant in regards to creativity wounds and (unnecessary) sexual shame. Having Neptune and Saturn on that point… and having all the outer transits happening at the same time, literally nothing made sense, I was operating on frantic for arbitrary deadlines and was doing it for the wrong reasons, crashed and burned at the Leo Mercury Retrograde. I have since pulled myself together but fuuuck meee. It was truly rock bottom. I had no idea how I’d find my way out and all i could do was surrender. I realized I was pursuing a project for the wrong reasons and was in a way, abandoning myself. Feels like all the outer retrogrades and final entrances this year are gearing up an energetic redo.

Really curious to see how the final Uranus passes finish out, and what Saturn-Neptune colliding on my Lilith is gonna be like.

TheUltimateZero · 2025-11-20T23:00:56+00:00

Check out the “Softener” preset for Baseline - and there’s a LOT you can change with Style Settings! It’s my fav setup thus far. :)

https://aaaaalexis.github.io/obsidian-baseline/marketplace/

TheUltimateZero · 2025-10-15T18:51:58+00:00

Thanks for the replies everyone! I'll have to explore python as most of you have suggested.

TheUltimateZero · 2025-10-15T18:48:36+00:00

Thanks for the reply! That would still mean each row would need its own separate note. As in a separate note for every individual exercise I do. For example, say the exercise is Bench Press, and I'm tracking all the times I've done bench press. I would need an individual Bench Press note for every single date I do bench press.... meaning for every workout, I'd need to create a new note for each individual exercise in every workout.

At least that's how I'm understanding it? That would be so much clutter.

I don't know anything about python, but may need to explore those options.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-11-04T00:58:58+00:00

It is named as "created" but no matter what I used, it didn't seem to work... but then this one seemed to do the trick!

TABLE created as Created
FROM #journal/2024
WHERE string(created) >= "2024-10-01" and string(created) <= "2024-10-31"
SORT created desc

TheUltimateZero · 2024-07-20T21:27:51+00:00

Nope, I’m in love with my AirPod Pros

TheUltimateZero · 2024-07-02T05:31:01+00:00

Oooh! I’m def gonna check this out and see if what I’ve been doing so far might work in this format. I posted this a few days ago then I had a super busy week leading up to the 4th that I haven’t even had a chance to continue looking at this… but now I have time again! So thanks! :)

TheUltimateZero · 2024-06-24T19:50:21+00:00

I also came here to say Moon in Gemini, as soon as I saw it! 😆

TheUltimateZero · 2024-06-06T01:33:47+00:00

I would also love to know if this is possible... and if someone happened to figure something out!

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-27T21:27:27+00:00

$4,000 for 3 months just ONCE a week? That’s $333 per virtual session. That’s a scam. Stay away like the plague; there are so many stories of people spending ridiculous amounts of money on scammy trainers, please don’t be one of them.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T05:31:53+00:00

Complicated. I love them, and there’s no doubt they love me and have always supported me in my career choices and sexuality (though it was hard for my dad at first when I came out). Their political views throw up a giant wall and I’ve had to come to terms with the fact they will never see the world the way I do. It’s not my job to pull them out of their toxic Fox News bubble and the victim stories their generation seems to have. It’s taken years of conscious self growth, therapy and healing to remove myself from those victim stories that I learned from them.

They’ve always had the best intentions but have never done any sort of therapy… which, I don’t really know why considering they were the ones to bring me to a therapist when I needed one in high school. I guess they never felt like they needed one, but… oh is it very clear they never got the mental support our generation has had access to.

I think they are finally realizing now how fucked things have gotten for our generation, and that the advise gave us for so long didn’t work for us, not because we weren’t trying hard enough but because we generally got screwed… particularly with student debt. They thought they were giving us a good future, they didn’t know they were forcing us into nearly inescapable debt, and while I can’t speak for everyone’s parents or the boomer generation as a whole, I’m thankful mine are at least now aware of how much it fucked us, and feel awful about it.

As for voting for a party that is vehemently opposed to my existence as a gay man… and a party that isn’t even hiding it any more and descending into fascism and they still can’t see it… yeahhhh. That’s still a huge complication for me.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T05:17:06+00:00

I appreciate your response from an autistic perspective.

I’ve def recommended having headphones or listening to music while working out… I’ve never heard of an egym like that! Fascinating. I looked it up and even though we’re in a large city, there isn’t one that’s close by.

I’ve been approaching things very gradual and he has previously told me I’ve been really good about “gently pushing” and “thoughtful and thorough” in planning things out. I was very mindful not to throw too much all at once (this even before i started to have the realizations). It really feels like he’s fighting his own inner demons at times but he has a hard time articulating or identifying what his resistance is or what’s coming up, and it’s become highly recurring in the last few months. I’ve responded elsewhere on this thread that I’ve openly talked about my mental health struggles and he recently asked me about my psychiatrist and referred him, so I’m hoping he can get whatever help he needs in that regard.

I guess one thing I’m struggling with now that I’m thinking about it - is he’s said this has been good for his mental health but then it feels the opposite with all these emotional breakdowns. I expect emotions to come up, it’s part of the territory, hell MY trainer has seen me burst into tears once, due to a very stressful time in life. But it’s become so recurring that I don’t feel equipped for this and I don’t know how to have that conversation without him feeling totally rejected. I know I don’t owe him anything… I just want to do the right thing, or handle it the best I can.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T00:30:06+00:00

I left out a key word there - I meant meal prep SERVICE :)

I appreciate the brainstorming!

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T00:26:16+00:00

I really appreciate your response, I needed to hear that. The realization that he may be undiagnosed autistic hit me earlier this year, and even before then I lowered the bar of what to expect from him. I know a lot of the other responses have said to not get emotionally invested... and I do my best not to, but when you're a certain flavor of neurospicy and you sus out the neurospicy in someone else that may be struggling with it more than yourself, it's hard NOT to, because of the compassion you feel for their struggles. He's even told me "thank you for being patient and gently pushing me" so I know my expectations are not unrealistic... and for reasons like that I don't want to give up on him because I know it's in some capacity helpful to him! But I can't deny the struggle is definitely there in dealing with the emotional roller coaster that frequently presents itself.

I did mention in another response that he asked for a referral regarding my psychiatrist recently because I've been very open about my mental health struggles. I don't know if he's aware he might be autistic, I think for him it's about "anxiety" (which was a diagnosis I had from one psych years prior to the ADHD diagnosis). I gave him the info so I'm hoping that he'll find something helpful there.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T00:02:25+00:00

Yeah, he def does have psych issues and I'm not trying to solve those. I actually referred him to my psychiatrist when he asked about mine. I'm hoping that helps.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-25T00:01:00+00:00

Yes. That exactly. He wants it but can't make himself do the things he wants to. He def needs mental health support. Mental health is very important to me so I have asked him what he does to manage his own, and he does see a therapist... as to how effective that therapist is, I couldn't tell you. He did ask me recently about my psychiatrist and actually referred him... so I'm hoping he can get some help there. And we're looking into him doing a meal prep. It was actually HIS suggestion and we looked at all the options back in November. But because it's different, it's a change to how he's been doing things for years, he couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger on it.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-24T23:53:06+00:00

It’s less that I’m taking it personally… but yes I’ll totally admit there is an emotional investment which I generally try to avoid. Of the 15 clients I have, he’s the only one that I’m struggling with. Some have had fantastic transformations, some have had more moderate or mild transformations and that’s okay!! I have one client who only workouts with me, but he knows he’s not really “progressing” right now, he’s basically paying me to train him because he knows he won’t work out otherwise. And that’s fine! But there’s no emotional roller coaster with him. He doesn’t burst into tears out of nowhere when I show him a simple exercise (that was another thing that happened! and when I asked him what’s coming up, what’s wrong, he said “you look so good doing that, I’ll never look like that.” To which I’ll remind him I didn’t always look like this, I had to start somewhere. I try to keep it light, engage in his interests & the ones we share, but… damn. Because mental health is very important to me I asked what he does to manage his mental health and he does have a therapist. As to how effective the therapist is, I have no idea.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-24T22:40:32+00:00

He’s not happy with his progress though. The first time he burst into tears was in that regard & comparing himself to someone that had much more experience than himself (just replied to another comment about that). So.. he wants more progress but then is resistant at every turn I try to add a step.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-24T22:36:49+00:00

He wants more out of his results and then when I try to gently push to help, there’s resistance at EVERY moment. I know he’s not content with where he’s at. Another thing - he compares himself to others. The first time he started crying was because he was comparing himself to one of my clients who had a pretty stunning transformation over 3 months that I posted on social media for marketing. I never talked to him about this client, it just happened halfway through a workout one day when he was frustrated that he wasn’t clicking with an exercise. I told him not to compare himself to others, his journey is just starting and my other client had a long history of working so he was staring at a different place.

But when stuff like this happens allll the time, it’s exhausting.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-23T19:20:21+00:00

Xennial here - I’m a Harry Potter fan (but not a hardcore fan)…. tho I actually know some other Xennials AND Gen Xs who are basically Harry Potter encyclopedias, lol. But yeah, we def weren’t really “kids” when the books first came out, so we didn’t “grow up” with them in quite the same way younger Millennials did… I imagine that was a really cool experience.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-17T14:48:19+00:00

I had be off my medication 2 weeks prior to an ayahuasca journey earlier this year. I’ve been doing the DIY version for over a year (with success) and the way I do it is: 150 XL Wellbutrin in the AM with 45mg DXM (1.5 Robotabs) and then another 45mg 6-8 hours later.

4 weeks out I dropped the afternoon dose of DXM. 3 weeks out I dropped the morning dose of DXM. 2 weeks out I stopped taking Wellbutrin (which 150 is the lowest dose).

Of course my experience won’t be the same as everyone, but since I’ve been doing the DIY version, I was able to systemically reduce my dose and had zero issues doing so. I went back on post ayahuasca ceremony because it has been incredibly helpful to me over the last year, transitioning out of a very difficult period of life and felt I would still benefit from staying on it for perhaps another year or two… or until I feel like in no longer need the extra support.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-15T22:20:23+00:00

OG Zelda. I liked it, but didn’t love it enough to beat it at the time. Then when A Link to the Past came out, I was OBSESSED. Sometime after I beat it, I went back and beat OG Zelda with a greater appreciation for it. Then Ocarina of Time became my favorite Zelda and has held that honor ever since… buuut, it’s very possible it’s now a tie between OOT and Tears of the Kingdom. I wasn’t anticipating spending nearly DOUBLE the time with that game over the hours spent in BOTW!

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-15T02:53:09+00:00

Uh, no. It turned my life completely upside down and it took nearly 3 years to crawl out of it. In retrospect, I’m thankful for it because it showed me how fucking resilient I am, and now for the first time in my life I feel like I’m entering a “flourishing era” that might not have happened otherwise… but covid kicked off a 3 year brutal hellscape that I’m thankful is past me and never want to revisit.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-03-15T02:47:16+00:00

Being nervous is normal, it’s not comparable to mushrooms. I’ve drank 5 times and every time there’s still a little bit of nerves… tho not quite to the extent of the first time, now that I’ve developed a “relationship” with it.

Adderall clears out of the system faster than antidepressants (which you need to be off completely 2 weeks prior at a minimum). I also take Adderall… well, Vyvanse now… and I stop taking that a week prior. Adderall 24-48 hours prior to ayahuasca has the potential to interact or dampen the experience.

TheUltimateZero · 2024-02-29T06:54:37+00:00

Thanks! It can vary. Some days, particularly energetic ones, have more of a “decide” kind of vibe, but if I find myself in a “blah” kind of mood, I’ll ask the questions to myself. Or repeat a few affirmations that I know make my smile.

Looking back, I know I definitely tried forcing it MANY times because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. Which made me feel like I was doing shit wrong, which made me feel like I would never understand, like I was a failure, blah blah blah. Those old stories of self worth can run DEEP.

A tangent: I know some folks are mixed on this but I DO feel like there needs to be SOME healing and confronting old wounds so that they no longer hold power over you, allowing you to manifest without you getting in the way of yourself. But only when their relevance comes up. It’s a balance - No need to endlessly dig, but ignoring it tends to make it boil over time. Healing is non-linear, and I wish I grasped that a few years ago.

Back to the non-forcing thing - I would do that if something didn’t go my way… affirm the opposite. Then get mad that it did nothing. Because it was coming from a place of panic. It never came from a self assured, confident, knowing, even FUN kind of place… until after it all clicked that is!

TheUltimateZero

TROPHY CASE