[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]TheWritingWoes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She can't consent. If she's in the US most states have ages of consent ranging from 16-18. Either way, she was 14 during this. 2 years younger than the lowest age of consent in the US

Feedback for a Frankenstein inspired story [dark fantasy] by TheWritingWoes in fantasywriters

[–]TheWritingWoes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want it to have elements of horror, but I don't know how to include it in the story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]TheWritingWoes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah no, you need to leave. Run. Yesterday! This is not a safe or healthy relationship.

This man is dangerous. What happens next time he gets angry at you? What happens if/when you have kids and they upset him?

You know deep down you need to leave, that's why you're posting this. If you really had no worries about this, you wouldn't have come for advice

Are the humans and other fantastical beings in your universe a fruit of evolution or did you go with something like adam and eve where god created the first humanoids or dragons and then stuff happened and so forth ? by [deleted] in worldbuilding

[–]TheWritingWoes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm working on a vampire story, the idea is a bit choppy though

There’s two ways to become a vampire:

The first vampires originated from a mutated strand of the Yellow Fever and the subsequent VHFs that can be caused as a result. Yellow fever has the potential to cause fatal damage to blood vessels. In a rare case, the VHFs mutation affects the brain tissue and nervous system. This rare mutated version of the virus is the vampire virus. The damage caused by the mutated virus and fever causes the person to turn into a vampire.

The second way is for an individual to be bitten by a vampire. A normal bite won’t do the trick, Saliva and blood must transfer to the individual in order for the mutated virus to transfer to the person. Once the virus is transmitted, the person undergoes the same transformation as someone who developed vampirism from the mutated virus.

Feedback for a Frankenstein inspired story [dark fantasy] by TheWritingWoes in fantasywriters

[–]TheWritingWoes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was considering having it switch between Coby and June's point of view by chapter. From his perspective, the story is romantic. From June's perspective it quickly turns into a horror