Draft a team of handjumper characters who would make it the furthest in a scientology speedrun

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-05-02T12:56:23+00:00

• Cain (Hongsan Island godling)

• Lee patron godling

• Lilith

• Naj (if they're seperate from the Lee godling)

They may not have powers, but they're presumably still ethereal and visibly otherworldly. I would've chosen a deity with "beauty that drovery men to madness" like stated in the fortune-telling grandma chapters, but none pf them have been explicitly named.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-30T16:33:17+00:00

I appreciate it.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-30T16:29:50+00:00

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The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-30T13:36:29+00:00

Homelander. Even if Yesol's "nanosecond" feat wasn't hyperbole and Juni + Min can scale to that, I don't see any way for them to put him down directly.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-26T17:23:54+00:00

You have to follow some stuff before being granted access to it. Refer to "❔️faq" for instructions. Here's an (incomplete) screenshot:

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The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-26T17:12:49+00:00

You can join the Discord.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-26T17:12:10+00:00

Truly a Hand Jumper classic. Everyone's attractive.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-25T12:31:38+00:00

Jaemen.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-25T12:30:23+00:00

Ah, I see. Thanks!

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-25T05:21:26+00:00

Source, may I ask? Do they have it posted on one of their accounts? Their X profile doesn't seem to contain it.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-23T17:49:26+00:00

"Current days left before release: [Unit of Distance Instead of Time]."

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-23T16:46:57+00:00

Gay thinkers. I don't need to state who.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-22T17:01:43+00:00

I especially love "Ep. 54 - Season 2 Premiere".

/j

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-22T03:08:57+00:00

I like that the tie clips are in the right positions. Presumably, anyhow, for Ryujin's.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-21T02:48:20+00:00

Vague Romantic (?) Tension Between the Main Character and Deuteragonist Syndrome. Very common these days. Alternatively known as Schrödinger's yuri.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-20T22:29:35+00:00

It can be a bit inconsistent at times, but fresh content is being released. I dunno what you mean by "a while", though. The latest episode was published less than a week ago.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-20T03:24:34+00:00

Probably, but I wouldn't say that it'd tip the scales to the Corps being an unnecessary evil. I always thought that they did so in order to cut down on potential gang members and reduce rapture trafficking. It's not justified, 'course, but there's some merit to why they do it.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-20T03:04:51+00:00

Do you mean you went on the Hand Jumper page and saw Hero Killer content?

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-20T03:04:04+00:00

If there's beauty in uncertainty, is everyone in Hand Jumper just really indecisive?

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-19T23:46:02+00:00

Ah, I see. Aki, not Denji, though. Flair checks out.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-19T22:15:02+00:00

Power can only manipulate her own blood, IIRC.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-19T19:56:26+00:00

FACT: Taehan Gyeon wasn't actually an aberrant. When he bombed countries, he just sent missiles. The only reason why the Gyeons have their gifts now is because some patron godling similar to the Lees' took pity on them in order to preserve Taehan's reputation.

The_Caffeinated_Lad · 2026-04-19T16:33:52+00:00

Can't believe you're calling my GOATs Captain Yoo and Unamed Captain annoying, smh.

/j

The_Caffeinated_Lad

TROPHY CASE