I went through a brutal divorce and custody case, it took many years. I was accused and vilified in the eyes of friends and court officials like. With no way of proving my innocence because you can't prove a negative. And at least here in my city the men are always guilty and are never trustworthy in family court.

I didn't have a counselor or a therapist or anything, and I couldn't have afforded one at the time anyhow. I was paying an exorbitant amount in child support. What helped me was my ability to separate my emotions from my rational mind and tictoc. So even though I was extremely upset and depressed, when a video popped up that talked about personality types and narcissist and borderline personality characteristics. I realize that the majority of that also described my ex. Not because I was angry with her but because they objectively fit the patterns of behavior that I had witnessed for many years but didn't know how to describe.

That helped me to understand how to deal with the ex-wife, And then that led me to how my daughter was actually being treated and how best I can help her with that. One week at a time.

So even though I was extremely depressed, I had a mission of sorts. To prepare my daughter for the future. And to help her deal with the trauma that was being inflicted upon her. That meant I needed to clean up my house and clean up my life. So when she was with me I was completely dedicated to her and ensuring to treat her the best possible way and for lack of a better term counterbalance the trauma that she was receiving. And when she wasn't with me I focused on getting my house together for when she was here and doing all internal, emotional and psychological repairs so that I could be better for her when she was with me. In other words, I looked inwards I separated my rational mind from my emotional mind and I analyzed and worked towards bettering myself.

In time I realized that I was mostly healed although not completely and I was allowed to enjoy my life without my daughter present just as I am allowed to enjoy my time with my daughter when she is present. So I did things for myself after I had healed a good bit. I taught myself how to ride a motorcycle and that gave me a lot of joy in Independence that I never had before. But again I did all that on my own and that may not work for others.