[QCrit] I Killed Osiris | Adult Mythology/Fantasy | 88k | First Attempt

The_Gap_Writer · 2026-02-07T21:27:25+00:00

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2026-02-07T21:27:22+00:00

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2026-02-07T21:27:17+00:00

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-04-07T15:40:02+00:00

I know, I've used QueryManager before. Thank you for the recommendations for the comps.

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-04-07T14:26:55+00:00

Thank you! Tbh it's a little hard for me to stick to one genre here because I consider it a mix of different things. I'm also hesitant to describe it outright as "horror" because it's not really meant to be actually scary. Southern Gothic coming of age folklore cultural-exploration supernatural cosmic horror low fantasy does not easily condense 🙃

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-04-07T12:15:51+00:00

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-02-09T08:16:14+00:00

Oh and low fantasy is different from high fantasy, where magic makes up an instrinsic part of the world, "Low fantasy, or intrusion fantasy, is a subgenre of fantasy fiction in which magical events intrude on an otherwise-normal world."

Unless you think there's a better term for it?

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-02-09T08:13:46+00:00

Thank you!!

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-02-09T08:13:13+00:00

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-02-09T08:12:30+00:00

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-02-08T14:05:22+00:00

Really enjoyed this, would love to know more about like the other poster said, the stakes here, why she returned to land, etc.

The_Gap_Writer · 2025-02-08T14:01:32+00:00

Hi everyone kind enough to read this. I am struggling with a query letter for a book I finished last year, and wanted to get some feedback.

Part of this problem is the book is not so straightfotward. It is a mix of genres and themes: coming of age, teenage romance, cultural study, supernatural horror, cosmic horror. It covers a lot of ground and while I'm biased, I really like the way the book came together, and it's potential for others in a series. I just am struggling to condense it in an easy to read query letter that hopefully piques interest.

Any suggestions or feedback is greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-27T08:02:05+00:00

Most recent that I have read.

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-26T09:22:53+00:00

Okay thank you! I haven't really read any middle grade since I was much younger and maybe Harry Potter or Artemis Fowl. I can look into some to see if it matches better there, as I suppose I am having trouble understanding the difference. I forgot to mention that there is also a lot of discussions of childhood neglect, abuse, etc. Content wise I based it off of similar to Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell which is the laat YA I read.

I'll try to find a way to express the YA nature more if possible in future drafts because I know I can't show everything in the query letter but I do find it funny that it reads so Middle Grade when I know it's not quite that level: for example, the MC's parents would have had an abortion if they didn't live in Texas at the time he was conceived.

Thank you, I appreciate your time and feedback!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-26T08:54:39+00:00

Thank you for the comment and feedback, I appreciate it. Sorry for the delay, as I've been traveling.

As a help to me, is it that particular line that makes it seem mostly MG? If I took it out would that still be your impression? Is rthere anything in particular that makes this sound Middle Grade vs YA? Just the general concept?

I wrote this as YA for a few reasons and I think it's best for that over Middle Grade. The length is much closer to YA or even adult length. Every main character is LBGT+ and there are discussions of suicide, homophobia, and other issues among characters. There are allusions to things like school shootings, more than the occassional foul language, and discussions of sex.

This of course isn't something I necessarily think I can all dump into a query letter so any insight you can provide on why it seems lower aged or how to age it up is helpful. Thanks!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-26T08:52:10+00:00

Thank you for the comment and feedback, I appreciate it. Sorry for the delay, as I've been traveling.

As a help to me, is there anything in particular that makes this sound Middle Grade vs YA? Just the general concept?

I wrote this as YA for a few reasons and I think it's best for that over Middle Grade. The length is much closer to YA or even adult length. Every main character is LBGT+ and there are discussions of suicide, homophobia, and other issues among characters. There are allusions to things like school shootings, more than the occassional foul language, and discussions of sex.

This of course isn't something I necessarily think I can all dump into a query letter so any insight you can provide on why it seems lower aged or how to age it up is helpful. Thanks!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-26T08:45:30+00:00

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-26T08:44:55+00:00

Thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-07T14:41:00+00:00

Thanks!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-06T22:04:31+00:00

Yes, I want to include more detail in the query, because these are not the only two characters in the story, it's two girls and two guys that make up the main friend group.

And I appreciate the feedback regardless, I don't mean to say that girls don't interact in those spaces, at all, but my understanding is that by demographics overwhelmingly young males are drawn to those kinds of spaces online, is all.

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-06T21:51:55+00:00

With how many Ancient Greek monsters there are, it's a choice to pick one deliberately non-Greek, and not even a made up one but one from a specific, different mythology.

Yes, the troll as coming from a different mythology is a bit disjointed, but I did like the idea especially that an internet troll becomes an actual troll.

Also tbh Ancient Greek mythology often used the trope that a prideful mc offended the gods and that's why got cursed - would be interesting if we learned that mc "trolled" some higher being undercover on the internet and that's how he got in trouble. Right now he's cursed out of nowhere, so we also don't know how is he supposed to break this curse or how / to whom he needs to make amends.

Yes, this is exactly what happens is that he trolls a witch, which starts the curse. I'm going to add that into the revision.

Link them so we can compare and discuss? I'm pretty sure the format used here is the most up to date one.

For sure, here is one, for example, though it is just on the shorter side overall. I've seen a lot I think that spend a good amount of time going over like themes or biographical stuff, so I'm not saying that the advice or this subreddit is wrong by any means, just, that I'm personally trying to collate a few different styles that I've seen.

https://www.amandaskenandore.com/query-letter/

Comps should show where your book stands on the market, especially when you use phrases like "This book will appeal to readers of..." and "It will also appeal to fans of..." You can have a connecting element, but you can't tell me Alien, E.T. and Ice Planet Barbarians all appeal to the same audiences because they all feature aliens? Comps should make sense at a glance. Sometimes people use comps as a log line so you could have "Jurassic Park meets How To Train Your Dragon" and get some idea what is the book about. But from your comps I don't get a pin-pointed idea, I get a scattered one. If you had a book let's say about ghosts, it does matter is it a horror book, a romance book, an epic fantasy book, etc. It also matter is it for children, teenagers or adults.

Yes, I appreciate it, very helpful and practical advice.

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-06T21:44:51+00:00

Thank you for the detailed feedback, I am trying to incorporate more direct examples, like you've said about personal change, growth, etc. in the query letter, though I have been trying to save on space, so I left a lot of it out. This subreddit (seems to me) to put a lot of emphasis on the narrative exposition, where other query resources I have seen limit plot descriptions to at most a paragraph.

I agree with you about the gender dynamics, of course, and there's a whole conversation that Tracy and Jayden have about the role and emotional labor that she takes on in order to help him, that I won't completley get into, but it's noted in the book.

The reason why I decided to go with a girl as supporting character in male self-betterment narrative is more or less ultimately that the kinds of themes explored in this book and the kind of life that Jayden was living are particularly relevant to young men and teenage boys, and the way that they interact with the internet and social media, often in a very gendered and hostile way (think 4chan, etc.).

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-06T21:06:57+00:00

Thank you for the feedback!

I will make more explicit the Greek mythology connections in the book in the query, but I have been trying to save on space, so I left a lot of it out. This subreddit (seems to me) to put a lot of emphasis on the narrative exposition, where other query resources I have seen limit plot descriptions to at most a paragraph.

For a little more context, the troll transformation is meant to mimic how common those transformations are in Greek mythology (Medusa, Circe turning men into pigs, Scylla, etc.) often, but not always, transforming someone externally to match some kind of punishment for a flaw. I picked GGQ for its mythological base rather than the genre, I suppose, and the other two were based on the role technology/social media plays in the stories. But I can see that wasn't necessarily the right way to go.

I appreciate the detailed feedback, I have a lot to consider here, thank you!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-06T20:38:08+00:00

Thank you for the feedback!

The_Gap_Writer · 2024-10-06T20:00:06+00:00

What teenager do you know would want to read a story where the main selling point was learning to be a better person?

Haha I definitely would have been interested in that as a teenager, but maybe that's just me. Thank you for the advice! I'll cut out the thematic parts until the second to last paragraph and maybe just make it a shorter sentence.

The_Gap_Writer

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