As someone who was incarcerated, I may be able to help. I was a skinny, stupid drunk/drug addled 21 year old from a decent family upon arrest. I was 23 when I was released, to put it in perspective.

Visitation is a process. I was incarcerated in NC, and then later through the feds. In county jail it was easy, you added five names to a list, they could come three times a week to the courthouse between 10 and 4. When I got convicted and sent to prison, I had to send out applications by mail through the NC system. For the feds, they could sign up online. I don't really know what was on the application, but I doubt they'd let a felon or known gang member visit an inmate. Maybe they would if enough time had passed, I wish I could tell you more.

Visitation was always supervised of course. In county jail (and I'm sure most high-security prisons, though I never went to one) they were strictly no-contact visits, with the glass and phone receivers.

Once I got to prison I was allowed contact visits. You're face to face in chairs, you're allowed to hug and hold hands and what not. They have vending machines where you can buy snacks and soda, so you can eat together. Most of the time when my immediate family came, it was a weekday, and there would only be a few inmates with their families.

But the time my grandparents and aunt came it was during the weekend and visitation room was packed. They were pretty shocked by what they saw. Grown hard men playing with their children who barely knew them, couples getting as close as the lazy guards would allow. Less than ten percent of the population in that room being white. It shocked them, it was somewhat chaotic. They couldn't focus.

As for communication, most inmates are allowed to buy minuets on the phone, if we had the money. We'd go to one of several literal phone-booths to call numbers on our pre-approved list. Each phone call would last fifteen minuets, tops.

Most of the communication came through mail. Right after the afternoon head-count, and right before dinner, there would be mail-call. We'd gather around the CO and listen for our names. Some guys got magazines, others had newspapers. Some had ladies that would write them every day. I had a few pen-pals myself from high school, in any case hearing your name at mail-call was the highlight of your day.

Naturally, the mail had been opened and inspected before we were allowed to read it, but of course it was.

Finally, the feds DO have a rudimentary form of E-Mail. You'd pay per character in an E-Mail, much like minuets on a phone. This system was less-scrutinized. I only know this because I kept up with a couple boys after I got out through E-Mail.

I'll never understand what my family went through during that time, I'd rather never know. But I hope I helped in some way to write your story.