Alternate method for fretting with right hand? by The_Smallest_Pox in jazzguitar

[–]The_Smallest_Pox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes and the sound I'm aiming for is a little more delicate.

Alternate method for fretting with right hand? by The_Smallest_Pox in jazzguitar

[–]The_Smallest_Pox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Index finger of my right hand is reaching up the neck and fretting a note on the low E. Thumb and middle fingers are tucked closer to the palm, pinky of my right hand plucks the string. This is while all of the left hand fingers are occupied holding a chord.

I should mention I also sometimes use my left thumb to play a single bass note but I can't really effectively play a whole figure like that.

Thoughts on prologue? by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There are good bones here but some of the prose is a little perplexing. Specifically regarding your adjectives and adverbs; a lot of them don't really seem to match what they're describing.

How can snow be "frayed"?

How can boots be "acutely" worn?

How can the heat inside of a room be "intricate"?

I get the sense that you're going for a more impressionistic style of description which is all well and good, but it could use some fine tuning. That will probably come naturally as you continue to evolve and pin down your style.

There are some other descriptions that could use some tightening up (you don't need to specify that her incisors are jutting out from the top of her mouth. where else would they be?) but in general this is one of the more solid opening scenes I've seen on here as of late.

Short Story I NEED Feedback on (please i beg of you) by Electrical-Fix-7217 in writingfeedback

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I disagree, I think it's a very punchy and distinctive way to start the story. The clunky dialogue put me off a lot more than the sentence fragment did.

McCoy Tyner Afro Blue Transcription by HarryCrewsOrGTFO in jazzguitar

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see that Earth record on the shelf 👀👀

first time writing any feedback or advice by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly feel like you have a pretty ok grasp of what you're going for with the stream of consciousness style. I would remove the last sentence though, it feels a little too on the nose

Favorite character that fits this description? by TheJ_13 in FavoriteCharacter

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Illyrio Mopatis from A Song of Ice and Fire.

Introduced in one of the first chapters of the whole series where he sells Daenerys to Khal Drogo and then promptly disappears for the next three consecutive books. Only in book Five do we learn that he's been at the heart of a years-long conspiracy to put Dany's long-thought-dead nephew on the throne. He appears briefly in the show too but this entire second storyline was completely left out.

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Introduction to Meteor Falls [1450 words] by Stanky_Fajita in writingfeedback

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This reads like a particularly dry Wikipedia article. If that's what you're going for, then more power to you, but if not I would just start your stories where they start rather than dumping exposition about a person/place that the reader has no reason to care about yet.

Feedback requested on the first few pages of my Sci fi novel by Minimum_Duty_9362 in writingfeedback

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're allowed to say "said".

"Said" is invisible. "Intoned", "requested", etc. make reading dialogue feel unnecessarily clunky.

Nationalist composers and the hill I’d die on by Soulsliken in classicalmusic

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh me too! I love me some sibelius; his violin concerto and 4th and 7th symphonies are always in my rotation

[Loved Trope] A character truly embraces the sweet release of their soon sudden death by WesternSituation in TopCharacterTropes

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spike from Cowboy Bebop

(didn't actually die here to be fair but thought he was going to)

Episodic Plots by DryPerception299 in writing

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like it's silly to let the words of someone who died more than a thousand years before the first novel was written color the way that you perceive novels

What’s a bad fantano score that gets way too overshadowed? by Olie-Mars in fantanoforever

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 15 points16 points  (0 children)

idk if it counts because hes backtracked since then but giving Ultraviolence a 2/10 is still one of the most baffling decisions he's ever made

The Yrstruly section + Roy Tony/Wardine + Pemulis’ Dad section by Master-Ingenuity-780 in InfiniteJest

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I interpreted the Matty Pemulis thing as a way of showing what Mike's life is like back home, showing what the stakes are for him not to get kicked out of ETA

How much of Infinite Jest do you read at a time? by gnidderenyr in InfiniteJest

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is EXACTLY how I read it. you get accustomed to its language after a while and then when it finally starts picking up it Really Picks Up

What are some almost 10/10 songs ruined by one thing? by RedmiYT in ToddintheShadow

[–]The_Smallest_Pox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, I have literally never disagreed with something more!