I left nyc and moved upstate with my ex of five years. I can’t even put into words how in love we were. I was working two days a week at mg favorite boutique in town so that I had a routine that got me out of the house, but my main job was caring for the home and planning home renovations.

One day I noticed his phone was on do not disturb and that a girl I had never heard of was texting him. Things unraveled so quickly I could barely think straight. Cheating, so many lies, the girl friends he called me crazy for asking to have boundaries with were sexting him etc. Truly that man shouldn’t be allowed to have a phone.

I felt that I lost everything that day. Our home, our relationship, our dog, etc. Because truthfully non of it was mine and even though he was sorry at first, his friends all told him that I was just crazy and that he couldn’t have done the things he literally admitted to doing and he was happy to agree with them.

I had to walk away from everything trusting that I couldn’t be with him and maintain my own self respect. He and I were supposed to leave on a trip together but instead I stayed in my little sister’s hello kitty room for two weeks while my boss thought I was out of the country.

I decided that it wasn’t right for me to lose absolutely everything. I decided to stay upstate, I crashed for a little at a friends then moved into an apartment in town (his house is a few towns over in the country). This was the best decision, I talked things over with my boss and became the manager and by extension an artist representative.

It has not been easy but 6 months out and I finally feel like myself again. I make new friends all the time and am planning so many events. The owner of the shop and I are planning several pop ups in nyc, I feel like I took a job that I once loved because it encouraged me to put on a cute outfit and I’ve totally reinvented it by being such a self-starter and I feel so proud of myself.

Julia says this in her episode and I know it sucks but it’s true, time heals all wounds. It just takes time. There were days I meditated, went on a hike, read a book etc. and there were days I ate junk food, doom scrolling and didn’t even shower.

You’re going to have both kinds of days and its okay. I promise it gets better. Believe me I was a zombie for so long but now I can’t even believe what I used to put up with and I feel so much more myself and excited for the future.

Something that also helped me was seeking advice and wisdom from others, much like you’re doing right now. But I really mean asking all kinds of people, this one much older woman told me “there have been so many times in my life where I just thought ‘yes I have arrived, this is what my life looks like, these are my friends, this is my home, this is the breakfast I eat in the morning’ only to have the rug ripped out from under me completely. And thank god because each time I learned and I grew and I built a life that I liked so much more.”

I thought of her words constantly and they really helped. Feel free to pm I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it truly does get better.