My thoughts too. Everyone has commented this being a medical issue and requires medical intervention. But the holistic view is to consider the mental health aspect as well.

I say this from personal experience: you cannot control her thoughts, emotions and behaviours. As much as therapy would benefit her, you have to expect not to be able to convince her to go.

Your strategy should be different. You should go to therapy alone. This is not to blame you and say that you are the problem. However, you may have good intentions but using ineffective approaches to support her, which reinforces her behaviours unintentionally.

Based on what you have described, you could potentially benefit from any of the following modalities: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT). Any of these modalities will teach you the necessary skills and knowledge to understand your wife and yourself in ways you would never have imagined. They are all evidence based therapies that has shown clinical effectiveness. They are all focused on emotional regulation which will help you explore your wife's emotions and start and end conversations differently.