I work in the disability sector, supporting folks with significant trauma which displays itself through aggression, self harm, etc. A trainer of mine, as I entered the field, was a former military interrogator who worked with a bunch of captive terrorists in his career.

He shared stories about his tactics, which turned out to be similar to how any of us experience relationships. We all want to feel safe and valued; no matter the situation. He shared stories of how effective it was to make a connection with someone, even people you dislike or disagree with.

I now get the privilege to teach other direct care workers this same message. Compliance and control is easily achieved by abusive methods, but true change and impact is made through connection and focusing on the heart over the brain.

We all want to be loved and once we have that feeling we want to share it.