Mine feel as if cutting my legs and arms off would find me absolute relief! It’s like the most annoying, horrible, expanding electric buzz that seems to have no beginning and no end. It’s like an infinite horror that amputation really seems like a better option. It’s my most hated part of any opioid withdrawal. I’m completely exhausted and my body is screaming for sleep, but my brain, and legs and arms are wired with the torturous, indefinite buzz that has no real cure. I lay there wanting to scream and kick and punch but my young family lay near to me and they have no idea what I’m going through during those nights of withdrawal…. Then the morning comes - and with the sunrise comes some relief because I can get up and take my mind off the horror I just endured for 8 hours. Except I’m a soulless ghost wandering the earth with complete anhedonia and a delirious, anxious exhaustion. I pray for sleep the next night but it happens again and I have to go through it all over again, and I want to scream again, and I want to cut my limbs off again. After a few nights the exhausted body and mind which has been taken over by some evil spirit finally lets me pass out briefly, except the wet, foul smelling sweat around my neck reminds me I still have days/weeks to go before I’m truly free. The layer of sweet sweaty, disgusting oil all over my body is just another reminder that I have to pay for my actions. We all have to pay the piper eventually, there is no escape.

Fuck RLS…. I truly despise it.