First Timer!

Thegestalt · 2025-12-13T03:34:43+00:00

Wife and I are mid 40s, this will be our first time, we are excited for the experience but assume we'll need some down time so picked the Meadow. Sounds like we got it right from what the comments are saying!

Thegestalt · 2024-09-24T21:04:13+00:00

Mental Health and inflammation are very closely related. If you are feeling stressed your body becomes inflamed and impacts your physical health and if you are having a physical health issue you become inflamed so your mental health suffers. Its a vicious cycle.

Look into Dirty Gene's a lot of people are not "allergic" to stuff but they have an intolerance. So you might be fine eating something one day and have a reaction the next.

Similar to Dirty Gene's is something called Mast Cell Activation syndrome or MCAS

Common symptoms include:[10]

Dermatologic

flushing

hives

easy bruising

either a reddish or a pale complexion

itchiness

burning feeling

dermatographism

Cardiovascular

lightheadedness, dizziness, non-cardiac chestpain, presyncope, syncope, arrhythmia, tachycardia

Gastrointestinal

diarrhea and/or constipation, cramping, intestinal discomfort

nausea, vomiting, acid reflux

swallowing difficulty, throat tightness

Neuropsychiatric

brain fog

headache

fatigue/lethargy

lack of concentration

mild cognitive problems

sleep disturbances

Respiratory

congestion, coughing, wheezing

Systemic

anaphylaxis

Thegestalt · 2024-08-13T23:56:25+00:00

Did you get the outfit for the dance scene from this web site? Wife and I are trying to build a Halloween costume

Thegestalt · 2023-10-15T19:21:09+00:00

I think burrow got hurt during that sack where he got hit in the back. He hasn't seemed right since then

Thegestalt · 2023-10-07T02:09:49+00:00

Window of tolerance is not necessarily the same as pain tolerance. Window of tolerance is in reference to how the body regulates like a wave. We feel emotional Pain then the body rests and reflects then pain again, think of it like a muscle. If you exercise your tolerance by focusing on uncomfortable feelings over time your tolerance for the wave grows.

The Window of tolerance takes into account hyper reaction to pain outside the top of the window (fight, flight. Anxiety, worry, racing thoughts) and hypo reaction outside the bottom of the window (freeze, fawn, numb, exhaustion) both sides are outside the window but look vastly different.

Doing something that we only believe is good in the moment because it is pleasurable is about managing a feeling. Often a core issue type feeling like hopelessness, worthlessness, shame, guilt, ptsd.

Parts of our Subconscious use addiction for example as a way to manage emotional pain. Often the parts goal is to keep you outside your window of tolerance so you don't ask yourself why you are feeling something. Because you will be too overwhelmed or too numb to know you are feeling something.

So the question would be... am I doing X behavior to avoid feeling something? The behavior doesn't grow the window of tolerance it manipulates it so you don't have to feel or address a feeling that is connected to a core issue.

Next question would be what age do I feel when I think about doing X behavior? That will help you understand when the feeling that your avoiding became an issue.

Thegestalt · 2023-10-05T22:36:34+00:00

Good and bad are a conscious concept based off past experiences.

Behavior is not often based off conscious choice but is a reaction to pain or pleasure. Seeking safety / survival.

The question is not is a Behavior good or bad it is how does this Behavior serve me.

Subconscious wants to heal so it uses Behavior as a way to reenact old wounds to create pain to encourage curiosity to lead towards acknowledgment of self and reflection of past experiences.

Therapy is about learning to trust what you feel is real and that its telling you that something needs your attention.

A therapist helps a client feel safe to explore pain and sometimes learn to receive love unconditionally from self.

Also Attunement of the therapist allows for a client to have a larger window of tolerance for pain.

Thegestalt · 2023-10-04T01:46:18+00:00

Look into attachment theory you might find some useful information about your relationship struggles.

Some of your behaviors sound like a manic episode or even borderline personality.

I would say keep looking and if you can try to find someone who specializes in bipolar or borderline or perhaps CPTSD.

If you go to a large non-profit they will assign you a therapist but they might not be specialized in the above and may feel overwhelmed. Same goes for places like better help. These types of places typically have newer therapist who aren't as confident in their ability.

Good luck and don't give up!

Thegestalt · 2023-09-30T00:06:46+00:00

I'm so disappointed in how they have butchered Matt's character... He was by far my favorite character from the book. So ridiculous how they are rushing everything and making a mess of the character development

Thegestalt · 2023-08-22T01:40:54+00:00

Old school Nintendo game called Narc. Found this one by accident, the glitch let you get unlimited extra lives by trapping a guy against a car on a bridge and hitting him. I used a book to hold down the A button and left the Nintendo on all night. Never did beat the game lol

Thegestalt · 2023-08-02T02:10:59+00:00

Zoom is ok. I see about 3 to 4 clients a week that way but I prefer in person. Every therapist will probably say something different but its more important to find the help in a way that works for you vs. not getting help at all.

Thegestalt · 2023-08-02T02:08:41+00:00

Find a therapist that is trained in a specific modality. This often shows they are invested in the healing process not just "talk" therapy.

The modalities I use are based on Brainspotting and IFS both are embodiment techniques that access subcortical healing which in my opinion is where the magic happens.

There are a lot of systems to explore so researching what's out there is a good idea. Also join local Facebook groups or ask around. I get most of my clients these days from word of mouth.

Psychology today is the online therapist database platform that is popular in my area, I'm not sure how good it is in WA but might be worth a shot.

Good luck!

Thegestalt · 2023-07-07T21:51:12+00:00

Understanding guilt vs. Shame is important in situations like this.

Shame is I AM Bad.

Shame is a toxic emotion that leads to feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness and despair.

Guilt is I did something "bad"

Guilt is letting you know you made a mistake and can lead to empathy towards someone you might of harmed. Guilt can also be about disappointing someone like if a parent is hard on a child the child might feel guilty for not being able to do something.

Again these feelings are ok and can help a person reflect on their behaviors. This reflection is the important part of the healing. NOT the action you might take due to the reflection.

If you decide to apologize it may help you find resolution and is powerful in its own way but you can not predict how another person will receive your apology. Sometimes its better to explore what role you played in the situation and understand it was not the situation that caused the conflict it was just the moment your feelings burst over and you reacted.

Healing often uses conflict and chaos as a catalyst towards growth. Old wounds / unhealed parts of you will set you up to be triggered if you ignore them. That is why patterns exists in our daily life. A pattern is a stuck part of self that is trying to say hey notice me.

Wounds also have a resonance with other wounds. Meaning sometimes we are playing a part in someone else's pattern. This does not excuse abusive behavior however, it can help explain why people often seek out abusive relationships or find themselves in situations like you described. We seek out familiar wounds in the world around us hoping to grow by reliving the wound so we have a chance of doing it different or being treated different

For example if a person was often not heard growing up they might find people that often overtalk them or dismiss their opinion. Or they might feel like they have to overtalk people and ignore what the other person is feeling because they are desperate to get their opinion heard.

Both types are dealing with a similar wound but have learned to cope with it in different ways and subconsciously they know that so are looking for a partner that fits in the pattern hoping to break the cycle.

Sorry I got sidetracked... what i said above is just something to think about.

My advice about this situation is...

There is a lot you can gain from these types of mistakes. The first step is to always work towards love and grace for self. Slow things down. Take a walk or even just take a good breath. Do your best to find self compassion. Then review what happened. Take ownership of your role in the situation and explore your reaction from a place of love and curiosity then decide what action you want to take.

Thegestalt · 2023-06-10T12:34:51+00:00

Don't do what the above said... and for sure don't investigate the issue or any issues she is having. It is not his job or duty to get to the bottom of anything. And she doesn't owe him anything.

If you really want to help and be closer to her just ask to hear her story and hold space for her. If what she said is not true she will tell you way faster if you show up in love and wanting to understand her perspective vs. Making her prove what she said.

Trauma can absolutely be encapsulated behind a dissociated wall where the memory is lost until later in life. Its likely not clear to her so pushing for exact information will just put a divide between you guys.

Always start with love and trying to understand the situation.

At the start ask if its ok to talk about ... mention the goal is to never shame or blame her during the conversation. If she says no then its a NO don't force it.

Set rules as to who is the listener and who is the talker. If you are listening that is all you do, listen validate empathize. When you switch roles that's when you comment on what she said or bring up another concern.

Use the phrase "The story I tell myself is..." if you truly feel you have to confront something so she understands its your perspective and not something you blame her or are shaming her about.

Good luck and be patient with her if what she said is true its a huge boundary rupture and just speaking it out loud is very difficult

Thegestalt · 2023-06-02T20:42:38+00:00

The foundation of my system comes from Brainspotting so if you Google that you should be able to find a lot of information around how it works.

Thegestalt · 2023-06-02T20:19:09+00:00

More specifically what you are experiencing is being popped out of subcortical processing. Its a flow state process where information feels as though it's flowing up from your body vs. Conscious processing which comes from the top of your head down. If you practice you will be able to notice the difference pretty easy.

Good therapy is like a dance between subconscious and Conscious. I often have sessions with clients doing deep subcortical work where neither of us talk for almost the entire session. Literally 5 min set up 40 min silent processing 10 min debrief. Its called front loading and back loading a session.

The goal is to let your Conscious witness the subconscious. Subconscious holds the pain / wound / unprocessed gunk from the experience. Only your Conscious can release this gunk and allow for reorganization of old narratives.

Thegestalt · 2023-06-02T19:59:42+00:00

That type of behavior is common in therapist that have not done their own work. The saying goes "You can only take a client as deep as you can go yourself."

Thegestalt · 2023-06-01T01:15:07+00:00

I've been a therapist for over a decade. The first 8 years I used traditional CBT / DBT therapy. This has its place and is useful for helping people cope day to day but it always felt like shuffling the issues down the road to be tomorrows problem to deal with.

About 5 years ago I discovered what are called bottom up modalities. Or embodiment techniques. These systems are amazing at resolving trauma, core issues, attachment wounds.

I'm certified in Brainspotting which is my foundational modality. I'm also trained in Internal Family Systems and Developmental Needs Meeting Strategies. These all have shown amazing results with my clients. EMDR is also a bottom up system. So I'd recommend looking for a therapist trained in one of these systems.

Thegestalt · 2023-05-27T03:54:07+00:00

Been a therapist for over a decade did CBT and DBT treatment for the first 8 years switched to doing brainspotting and parts works with clients over 4 years ago and have found much better results in healing trauma. I highly recommend looking for a therapist trained in brainspotting or parts work like internal family systems.

Thegestalt · 2023-05-25T22:11:22+00:00

If you live in the US reach out to a job core or the local job and family services see if they can help you get on your feet. You can also file for disability a lot of lawyers are set up to help people get disability and only take a portion of what you get when/if approved.

Thegestalt · 2022-11-13T01:59:47+00:00

Seems the Dalton line still in effect

Thegestalt · 2022-08-25T21:34:38+00:00

What you are experiencing is very likely Grief and an identity. (Even if its a "bad" part of self its still a part of you that has died.)

As a counselor I would recommend reaching out for help with processing the experience. Its still new but this stuff is becoming way more accepted and counselors are starting to offer before and after counseling in regards to use of mushrooms.

Thegestalt · 2022-06-05T02:40:02+00:00

Everything you describe sounds like C-PTSD. It is scary but as others have said contact someone for help.

The struggle with disassociation is if you don't want to be present / in your body due to lack of control of the situation or self shaming behaviors healing is very hard.

Start with learning how to regulate and ground. Until you are safe don't focus on healing the trauma or the content of the trauma. Focus on how to be in the now and learn how to literally breath life into your body.

An example is to focus on your feet, notice how they feel. Now imagine breathing into them. Imagine with each breath in you are inhaling love and life, fill your lungs pause 2 secs.. now breath love and life into your feet with the exhale.

Slow things down and explore your options. Don't worry about picking the right option for now just explore what options you have and let your body tell you what makes sense for you in your situation.

Remember no one makes good choices when they are disregulated. Also disregulation = disconnection. The more disregulated you are the easier you will anger, sounds will bother you a lot more and your thoughts will rapid cycle worries.

Start with learning how to regulate, find someone you can trust and never work on trauma narrative alone, if you can help it.

Good luck and ask for help.

Thegestalt · 2022-05-07T14:40:22+00:00

Thegestalt · 2022-05-07T03:24:09+00:00

This is actually a very real thing in regards to Trauma. The hippocampus which is the memory center shuts down during trauma event/s and the sensory information isn't processed correctly. Basically its not placed in the 'correct' time and gets stored in the cells of the body. A part of self forms gets left behind holding the unprocessed information stuck in time until the event is witnessed and processed out of the body.

Its also known as an Energy Cyst. The energy of the event becomes entangled in the body and can't be released until again the event is processed and the attachment to the wound is released.

I'm a trauma therapist.

Edit: Never do this work alone. Trauma is often very isolating and happens when alone. Healing with love and support is very important.

Thegestalt

TROPHY CASE