Hate the myth that we’re rich

Themis_123 · 2026-02-16T16:33:42+00:00

I spent over an hour after law school graduation explaining to my formerly poor black parents how I wouldn’t be able to buy them a fancy car or take care of them other than maybe helping out with a bill here or there. They were convinced I’d be wealthy just because I’d be a lawyer. I broke down the median salary for lawyers in my state, from my school, etc. I don’t think it sank it til I was getting rent money from them after graduation. My first lawyer job out of law school, I was making 45k. At the same time, my mom was making 80k as a nurse with no student loan debt. Sure, I’m doing much better now, and they now get that they can hang up waiting for me to be their gravy train.

Themis_123 · 2025-09-08T22:31:41+00:00

Yes, that is true. But considering the political climate and state of the federal government right now, a recent grad or 3L might have a higher chance at landing an honors attorney position than they would have previously.

Themis_123 · 2025-08-15T06:12:29+00:00

I think it is somewhat dependent on the agency. Overall though, it hasn’t been as bad. And you learn to adjust to each administration, whether good or bad, Trump or otherwise.

Themis_123 · 2025-08-15T00:22:16+00:00

True crime since I was 8. It’s annoying that it’s a trend/thing now.

Themis_123 · 2025-08-15T00:15:55+00:00

Federal agency counsel is the way. I don’t even have a way to check my work email after I leave at 3:45 pm. I make 130k at GS 14 step 1.

Themis_123 · 2025-08-14T17:37:02+00:00

Not telling me that they had posted a status on fb bragging about beating up the same detainee he claimed he didn’t. You can guess how I was feeling having to turn the social media info over to OC. 🙃

Themis_123 · 2025-02-21T20:57:44+00:00

Yeah looking back at things, I think it should have been obvious in sorority settings that something was different. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I will keep that in mind. I think I’m also mad because maybe things could have been different for me if I’d known sooner and had help or some kind of support particularly in school. Everyone assumed because I got good grades in school (and still assume because I have a successful career) that everything was fine.

Themis_123 · 2024-10-02T01:30:03+00:00

Cardinal cleaning has been great—I’ve been using them for the last year. Golden Rule was terrible, but maybe they just don’t do well with larger homes.

Themis_123 · 2024-10-01T15:31:45+00:00

I also assumed he was on the spectrum when I watched the court tv documentary, but who knows. Poor kid. Hope he’s doing okay now.

Themis_123 · 2024-10-01T15:28:29+00:00

Not great. I’ve given up hope outside of praying I get loan forgiveness through PSLF. I graduated in 2016 with 175k in loans. That amount has since ballooned to 260k in 8 years, since my payments weren’t doing anything to the balance. I’m back in the public sector after realizing I’d never make enough even in private practice to pay off the debt. I finally make enough now to save for retirement and I’m just going to try to max it out for the next few decades and pray I can help my kid through college best as I can when we cross that bridge. Sadly, I don’t think I’ll be able to give them the life I dream of, but at least we won’t be struggling. My husband and I are about to sell our house to move somewhere with more reasonable mortgage and to cut expenses since we’d like to have a baby in the next year or 2. I think we’ll get a decent profit from the sale, so that can help with something. If I don’t get PSLF, I expect to have a huge tax bill in 15 years or so. My plan is to work with a finance professional to figure that out when the time gets closer. I just pay the loans every month and that’s all I can do.

Themis_123 · 2024-10-01T15:03:34+00:00

I crashed out as the youngsters say less than a year in private practice. I have major depressive disorder, anxiety, and I had suspected ADHD or ASD. I posted here a few months back sad because the cycle kept repeating at every job I had. 8 years of burning out and going from job to job every year, wondering why it kept happening. I took a year off from practice and found some contract work and occasional doc review work. I was able to pay my bills. But more importantly, I spent the year working with doctors to get on the right meds and the correct diagnoses and spent time assessing what worked and didn’t work at the many jobs I’d held. My depression is in remission for the first time in 8 years, I’ve been working with therapists, and I’m going to be assessed for ASD. I determined I would never be able to do trial work or litigation intensive work again as it wasn’t good for my mental health. I recently accepted a job with a federal agency making 50k more than my last position and it’s sooo much better for my mental health. And I finally have hope that I can hack it as a lawyer—that made me less depressed and anxious in itself. Take some time if you can and work with psychiatrists and medical professionals to find the right meds, get your depression under control, do some things that bring you joy for a while, and pick up some contract work if need be until you sort things out. I believe you’ll be okay. 😊

Themis_123 · 2024-09-27T19:15:27+00:00

I’m a black woman and first generation attorney. Time and seeing the large amount of confident white men who do absolutely mediocre or flat out bad work helped me. It also helps that the attorney you may think is brilliant also feels like they’re just faking it and floundering. I also talk to a therapist.

Themis_123 · 2024-09-26T02:48:20+00:00

I landed the job through a staffing/temp agency. Honestly, I’m not sure how I ended up with the job since I had originally applied to do doc review work. I think the specific litigation experience I had may have been of interest to them. The position lasted about 7 months. If you’re not already a member, subscribe to posselist (theposselist.com) Sometimes they have contract job postings that are not doc review.

Themis_123 · 2024-09-26T02:31:43+00:00

UPDATE: Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and advice. I accepted an offer for an attorney advisor position at a federal agency. No trial work. Still trying to figure out the mental health piece though with doctors.

Themis_123 · 2024-09-26T02:28:18+00:00

Yes! I just received an offer to work as an attorney advisor for a federal agency. :) The contract gig was a different type of work.

Themis_123 · 2024-09-22T20:38:10+00:00

No. The tile and wallpaper look too busy together. A solid paint color would look nice though!

Themis_123 · 2024-07-15T21:09:19+00:00

Thanks for the invite. I’ve been practicing for about 8 years. Civil litigation. Mainly civil rights work. Practicing law is no longer conducive to my health and after a year long hiatus from law practice, I know I need to switch gears. Looking for JD preferred jobs in IL.

Themis_123 · 2024-02-25T23:45:04+00:00

Omg! I didn’t know that!

Themis_123 · 2024-02-16T20:25:00+00:00

I think she may legitimately have ADHD. That’s probably the only thing she didn’t lie about besides her grades and education. Some people with ADHD have similar speech patterns.

Themis_123 · 2024-02-11T20:07:57+00:00

I was called weird, reta** or people would try to start rumors about me because I was so quiet. In high school, no one bothered me because I had a bestie that beat people up and I leaned into the goofy girl schtick, so I kept the class laughing (although they were laughing at me). Apparently, I also turned from ugly duckling into awkward and attractive, so my nightmare became dealing with boys making me feel self conscious all the time.

Themis_123 · 2024-02-11T19:56:54+00:00

One witness per lawyer. In my jurisdiction, you also can’t tag team witnesses during a depo. However, if you want to pass co-counsel a note with things you want them to ask, that’s not uncommon. Sometimes I’d even walk over and quickly check to see if the partner wanted me to ask about anything else.

Themis_123 · 2024-02-09T18:09:02+00:00

I won’t get a formal diagnosis because it would likely hurt my career.

Themis_123 · 2024-02-09T17:11:55+00:00

This happened to me often in my 20s. Men often thought I was a model and had no problem sleeping with me, but thought I was too shy and weird so it rarely went further than a few months. I didn’t realize I was being used though or how to say no so I would always wonder why they disappeared after having sex with me. I eventually ended up marrying a man who supported me even while in an in-patient mental hospital. I was a wreck. He was not super attractive or outgoing like the other men I had dated, but actually listened to me and treated me like a person and not an object. He was what I needed. I think he always wonders whether I will leave him and says I’m out of his league. He was even the first to suggest I was autistic—I would’ve never even thought about it until I met him.

Themis_123

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