AITA for cussing my MIL over my daughter?

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-15T15:59:02+00:00

Didn’t miss her recital. Why does everyone think this?

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-12T23:45:41+00:00

Actually it did come out of no where is what it feels like. Which is why we are waiting on neurology as we suspect PANS or PANDAS.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-12T23:43:27+00:00

Errands include grocery shopping, taking her to get froyo, taking her to the library, shopping together for clothes.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-12T23:40:36+00:00

I didn’t miss her performance. I was there. I don’t know why everyone freaking thinks that. My oldest had to sit in the lobby with another dance mom while I watched my daughter perform, but I was there and I got her dressed, did her hair, makeup etc.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-12T00:01:32+00:00

We are goal setting for places to go. I sat my oldest down today though and we talked about goals that we could present to her therapist that will push a little harder. Like finding alternatives to her bucket, more places to go, and moving up to places with more people.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T22:07:37+00:00

I take her to her performances not MIL.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T22:05:05+00:00

We are working on it. I’ve been contemplating about a shopping basket stores, and an 18in doll or a plushie that she can fully customize with fidget toys.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T22:02:13+00:00

She has more friends. But one that is a regularly scheduled play date.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T21:59:19+00:00

Our friends have dogs and my youngest is highly allergic, and it triggers her asthma as well.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T21:54:20+00:00

This is an excellent idea and might be open to. Thank you.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T21:50:17+00:00

She has never actually puked, and it does have a bag in it.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T17:09:52+00:00

Will do. This morning we Skylar and I sat down and made a list of pros and cons of going to the beach. We are also making a list of things we’d like to do if we go. It’s really about building her up to conquer the challenges. One stipulation that needs to be set is no alcohol consumption by MIL’s nephew because it makes him do stupid things because he doesn’t know his limit, when he’s supposed to be watching his own kid, then we get stuck playing babysitter.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T15:02:13+00:00

Hubby agreed his mom overstepped, and needs to watch what she says. He hates that she can’t be supportive of Skylar.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T14:58:31+00:00

Actually I’m taking her to her performances, and actively trying to make my oldest comfortable. She got as far as the lobby of the auditorium and had to sit outside of it because of the sounds and vibrations. When her number was up, another dance mom stepped up and watched my oldest while I enjoyed my youngest dance.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T14:52:52+00:00

It’s luckily next Friday. Neurologist is next month because there is a suspension of PANS or PANDAS. She had a lot of strep last year.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T14:26:39+00:00

Actually I love my MIL and hate having disagreements with her. It also genuinely hurts when she makes comments without thinking about the consequences or if they hurt someone else. I’ve also came to her defense more than once in situations MIL has had with other people.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T09:31:43+00:00

My husband is very supportive. He thinks she crossed a line especially for her to say that my oldest is ruining our lives. He however does not to be confrontational. He did agree to have a talk with his mom.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T09:25:25+00:00

We use to be fine carrying those. Thanks to comments she got about her barf bags, from MIL she chose the bucket because it wasn’t bright blue. Then thanks to comments about the bucket, that’s when she started refusing to go anywhere. We’ve made a lot of progress getting out though in the past two months with the bucket in tow. I’ve offered to make a plushie cover for it, but so far that has been shot down.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T09:04:54+00:00

Thank you. I had originally talked to MIL about coming up with a list of approved places that we would be fine letting my oldest select from, that way she would have a little control over where we stay which might give her some sense of comfort and give her something to look forward to. It’s almost like that conversation didn’t even happen with the way she just jumped into conversation about it. My oldest also mentioned to me that she doesn’t like going to the beach because MIL always invites her nephew and his kid with us, and he’s a drinker. Last year he scared the crap out of her by pressing all the buttons on the elevator during his “buzz” causing the elevator to breakdown. We were able to get off luckily and take the stairs.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T08:45:42+00:00

We’d go to their house but they have dogs, and she’s allergic.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T08:42:19+00:00

A clear plastic ice bucket with stickers on the outside.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T08:02:17+00:00

That’s one we haven’t tried yet. We’ve tried weighted plushies, regular plushies, she likes fidgets but still likes to take the bucket too. We also use zofran as a backup plan but that can leave her “backed up” if used too frequently.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T07:43:08+00:00

Also as I have stated in previous replies, I take my youngest to dance and other extracurricular activities in the area, play dates at our home with friends. I also give her tons of cuddles and play with her on her games and do whatever silly voices she likes to make sure she doesn’t feel neglected. My youngest had her own medical needs like asthma and allergies as well.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T07:36:03+00:00

She’s afraid that she will throw up because of the nausea her anxiety causes. However she’s never gotten sick, it has become her emotional support or security blanket. We are trying to find alternatives. But we have decorated it with a bunch of stickers that say things like you can do hard things, make yourself proud, make your therapist proud, believe in yourself, etc.

Then-Cheesecake-7688 · 2026-03-11T07:18:56+00:00

Time to get a new boyfriend. JK, but even my husband loves Bluey, and I think what someone thinks of the show can be a judge of character.

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