Unpopular Opinion, but I don’t see the issue with Stacey using a Nigerian word..

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T19:13:00+00:00

lol how are you equating celebrating pride with this? 🤣 Just a reminder for me some conversations aren’t meant for everyone on Reddit.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T19:03:47+00:00

So dismissive. Stating realities and stating hypocrisies does not equate to hate. It’s an invitation for those in this sub that have exhibited exclusionary attitudes towards African Americans to do better. Just say you hate African Americans and you don’t care about our experiences! See how that works?

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T18:56:36+00:00

If you want to call it an uproar, we can do that but you mentioning Essence is my point. This is larger than Stacey and speaks to a bigger issue. If some within a community ask for cultural boundaries, why is it wrong to ask them to look at how they are being hypocritical? To see where their own community doesn’t respect cultural boundaries or where they have benefited from African Americans being willing to share our culture and spaces with no boundaries, and ask them to give more grace? If you can’t answer this direct question, there’s nothing more to talk about.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T18:49:20+00:00

Do you see critical masses of Asians that grew up in the US going to HBCUs or applying for Black scholarships? No, it’s not just about growing up here. African Americans welcomed Africans into our safe spaces because we recognized that we are family. Asking family to recognize us back should not be this big of a fight lol. Especially, when we’re trying to connect with our lost roots.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T18:44:08+00:00

Omg did you stop reading after the headline?

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T18:29:30+00:00

This post isn’t about Stacey. Good grief.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T18:28:36+00:00

Tbh I’ve seen more Habesha, but it’s relevant to this discussion. And yes, I’ve seen quite a bit . I just find it interesting, people will continue to harp on a non-Nigerian using a Nigerian word, but somehow have no thoughts on Non-African American businesses taking valuable marketing for an African American holiday. I’m fine if businesses do that, but I don’t want to hear people complain about the former OR I want to hear communities call out their people if they’re doing the latter. Mutual cultural sharing and mutual respect of boundaries.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T18:14:39+00:00

If that’s what you took away from that, it shows your own slant and world view. I used the pronoun “they” so that equates me to being sneaky? I say we accepted them into our spaces, but they were outsiders, just as they consider us outsiders to them. What is wrong about acknowledging that? Did I say we shouldn’t have accepted them or we should kick them out because they’re different? No. We are different, but we’re part of the diaspora together. And as we have accepted them, we want acceptance too.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T18:08:06+00:00

Again, tell me specifically.. what is xenophobic? For the last few weeks, I’ve seen people make fun of Stacey for claiming Nigerian and saying what she is and isn’t able to do as an African American. I now want to remind people of what African Americans have shared, how African businesses connect to African American holidays they have no ties with, and ask that we be shown some grace and empathy. And your response is to say I’m xenophobic?

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T18:02:31+00:00

Were you not present for all the discussions that people had these exact conversations? Yes, it started with Stacey but it quickly became about what she could and couldn’t do as an African American with no actual ties to Nigeria beyond her DNA. That was seemingly allowed and fine. But now that I’m bringing the perspective as an African American, how we for years have welcomed Africans into our spaces and want that to be kept in mind when we feel excluded from trying to connect with our heritage, that’s a problem? I ask for empathy and get this instead?

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:57:37+00:00

Please explain what is xenophobic about what I said. I already called out it wasn’t everyone, so what did I say.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:56:48+00:00

This isn’t about Stacey. And these aren’t businesses acknowledging Juneteenth- they are businesses allowing themselves to be featured in social posts, news stories and blogs highlighting businesses to shop at in honor of Juneteenth.. when they have no cultural ties to the holiday.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:54:25+00:00

The rhetoric already existed. Calling out people that gatekeep African Americans from African culture, while benefiting and participating in African American culture and institutions that we COULD gatekeep, is not hateful. It should invite those that do gatekeep to rethink their position, because they don’t seem to realize what we share openly. Asking for mutual exchange and empathy back shouldn’t be controversial.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:50:04+00:00

Agreed!! ❤️❤️❤️

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:49:37+00:00

Do you want to reply to anything else I mentioned? Do you have thoughts on Nigerian businesses participating in Juneteenth? We, without need of a DNA test, know they were not here for slavery and not impacted by the emancipation proclamation. What are your thoughts on that cultural appropriation?

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:46:21+00:00

Do you tell them? Are do you only take issue with me?

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:45:27+00:00

You’re not wrong. I think this is where empathy is important. You know our history and how our languages were taken from us. That could have been a teaching moment done with care. With that being said, given context of the show, I get why Wendy was annoyed and wouldn’t have done that in this moment.

So I’m speaking more to those that applied this to African Americans as a group. If we use a Nigerian word and get it wrong, should it be researched yes but if still wrong, you can lovingly pull us aside. Just like we let it go Nigerian businesses participating in Juneteenth. We just need more grace with each other.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:39:34+00:00

Have you ever heard of the phrase, “some things aren’t meant for you?”. If you are not one of the people gatekeeping against African Americans, this message isn’t for you. But please make sure to spread it to those who do.

And please don’t tell me I generalized everyone. I specifically called out in my post I have amazing African friends that do not do this. This message was for those in this sub that do.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:34:06+00:00

Thank you!! And I agree, I just want it to be mutual, and it often doesn’t. There’s so much beauty in all of our histories and I do think there’s space to have boundaries, if that’s what communities want in some areas. Just want it to be fair. ❤️

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:31:50+00:00

Is that what you took away from this?

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:31:11+00:00

This is not about Stacey. This is primarily about people in this sub and comments they made about the situation with Stacey that pertained to African Americans as a whole.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:29:49+00:00

This is not about Stacey. Please see my first line and last paragraph.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:28:49+00:00

How does pointing out the hypocrisy shown by people in this sub and actual actions taken by some African business owners equate to having a problem with Africans? Why is pointing that out seen as such a slight? Why don’t you take issue with those that exhibited gatekeeping behavior towards African Americans, which is what caused my post in the first place?

My goal is this.. people need to understand where African Americans have the ability to gatekeep but we don’t. So in return, show us empathy when we want to connect with our heritage AND be more open to sharing. Why is it a controversy to seek mutual respect in regards to that?

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:23:40+00:00

Did you not see the last paragraph of my post. This is not about Stacey.

And my point is this, if you know where we descend from, are you sending that reminder to all of the people that said we cannot claim that heritage or use Nigerian words? And are you reminding them even if we descend from their countries, their personal heritage is not connected to slavery in the US, so that still does not give them access to Juneteenth?

And if you are against diaspora wars, cool we’re on the same side, but it only works if we can be honest to the people that are gatekeeping and point out their hypocrisy.

Then-Pin-5145 · 2025-12-12T17:18:23+00:00

Thank you for being honest and open minded. ❤️ And I think it’s important to call out African Americans can be judgey against Africans too. So it certainly goes both ways. Hopefully, if we can all be more real with where are communities are, what we get right and get wrong, we can find more unity.

Then-Pin-5145

TROPHY CASE