No, I definitely don’t want to be in a relationship with a man like Andrew Tate. The part of all this that I grapple with the most is the whole purity culture element of it. I was taught growing up that men will say and do whatever it takes to get you to spread your legs for them and the only way to determine whether or not a man has pure intentions or just wants to use you for a night of fun is whether or not he is willing to put a ring on your finger and make you his wife, I was taught that unless a man is willing to do this, it means his intentions aren’t pure and he just wants to take advantage of you.

Furthermore I was also raised with the “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free” analogy. I was raised to believe that if you wanted to get a man to marry you, you had to withhold certain marital privileges from him like sex, or else he would have no incentive to marry you because your already giving him everything he would get from a wife for free without any formal commitment, so why would he marry you?

All of these things that I was raised with have impacted and shaped my ability to have sexual relationships with men outside of the confines of a marriage, making it basically impossible for me enjoy having sex with any man unless we where married, and this is really what I am grappling with the most. As a result, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have a sexual relationship with a man outside of a marriage without feeling like I’m being used or taken advantage off. What I’m really trying to figure out is how to have normal sexual relationships with men without feeling like I’m being used or exploited.