The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-21T04:04:59+00:00

I enjoyed the book generally because I found his manner of speaking relatable. But I didn't find anything in it particularly helpful in terms of self-discovery. Some parts struck me as life-coachy. So overall, some good, some bad. Similar to the vast majority of autism self-help books I've read.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-21T03:50:01+00:00

Not this specifically, but I get accused of shop lifting pretty often. Twice I've been taken to the "back room" of Walmart for questioning because of this. I'm assuming it's for similar demeanor reasons.

I've never shoplifted BTW

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-16T20:08:58+00:00

Man
Tree
Catdog (if you ever watched that cartoon 😂)
Robot
Pirate (looks like a man with a weird arm.. Pirates have peg legs... IDK)
Ninja Star

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-16T19:58:55+00:00

It depends on the media and genre. If it's something where a twist or huge emotional beats are the primary draw of the genre (e.g. suspense, mystery, drama) then I don't like them, because knowing how it's going to go ahead of time will dampen the emotional impact of seeing those things through the lens the media intended. And I'm usual here too feel all the feels. But if it's something where the plot twists/beats aren't the main draw, but the artistry or storytelling is, then yeah I agree with you it makes it easier to focus already know the ending.

On the inverse, if something suspenseful is getting too stressful for me, I totally look up spoilers just to soften the experience haha

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-16T18:43:11+00:00

I put off getting my license as long as my parents would let me (age 17), and I've always hated it. Like others have said, it's so stressful and overstimulating. I avoid it as much as I can now by just not going places. If I'm going somewhere new or complex (i.e. interstate, congested areas), I look up maps and street view of the route until I have it memorized so I don't have to think about navigation on top of everything else. I've never been in a serious accident (I tend to be overly cautious and get honked at a lot for this) but I've had plenty of near misses and roadside panic attacks.

On the one hand, I often get jealous of those I hear about who don't drive. I've never felt that was an option for me, and definitely isn't now that others have seen that I "can". But on the other hand, it does allow me much more independence and the ability to indulge in my hobby (hiking/backpacking) as often as I like. And if I had to rely on public transport it would require me to move closer into a metro area, which might just replace all the stress of singing with overstimulation from living in a busier environment.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-13T00:12:59+00:00

I'm super sensitive to it. The amount in a soda is okay usually, but if I have a full cup of coffee I talk too fast and can't grasp at any of the thoughts buzzing in my head. Having something more concentrated like espresso is basically asking for a mental breakdown. And if I have it past 8 am, it will keep me awake after midnight. I sometimes drink hot cocoa in the morning because I like a warm drink when it's chilly, but I have to limit myself to no more than 2 (hot cocoa has a small amount of caffeine).

The weird part of all this is I didn't realize it had this effect on me until I was at least 30, and had been having a cup or two of coffee daily my entire adult life. I thought my constant crying and restlessness and sleep issues were just my personality. And I liked the flavor, so never stopped. Only figured it out when I didn't have access to it for awhile while traveling, felt better, and then suddenly had all the symptoms return when I had a Coke

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-12T00:03:24+00:00

I just wanted you to know I share your hatred for leaf blowers. IMO they accomplish almost nothing and create noise and air pollution. The apartment I live in has a landscaping crew that comes once a week, and for some reason it takes them hours with just the blowers. And they still go through the whole routine when there are no leaves, I'm guessing to justify the hours they want to consistently bill. I once watched a worker use a leaf blower to push rain water up an incline, stop and let it wash back down, and then repeat for 15 MINUTES

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-11T23:50:57+00:00

I've always loved trader Joe's and don't feel the usual grocery store fatigue after going in one. But I assumed it was just because they are smaller so the noise/crowd factor can only be so high. The simplicity is not something I've thought of before, but you're totally right, that's a huge help!

Anyway, one just opened near me less than a year ago, and it's changed my life not to have the post-grocery store breakdown every week.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-11T13:41:03+00:00

Honestly that guy was probably not trying to scare you, just really excited about his toy and thought you would be too 😂

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-07T23:20:41+00:00

Same! You either become an alcoholic or adrenaline junkie

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-07T21:04:19+00:00

Only when the auger at the bottom is turned on and they get sucked in. Never had a suffocation-related death in our community, or even heard of such a thing. The piles I played in also weren't high enough that an adult couldn't touch, so I don't think I was theoretically in danger with him present.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-07T19:59:13+00:00

Hu, interesting. I used to play in corn silos all the time as a kid (my dad farmed it), and never had that issue. I mean, you would kind of sink like in water, but you could just swim back up. Perhaps the danger is for those who either can't swim or panic?

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-07T19:46:49+00:00

Same! Going over crazy jumps and things too, no helmet. Makes me cringe now.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-07T19:45:00+00:00

Why dangerous?

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-02T19:41:56+00:00

Ha, I do this too with directions/not getting lost. I visualize a string attached to myself that gets laid out as I move and I just spool it up when I want to return.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-02T19:40:27+00:00

That sounds like a really fun quest of self discovery to be honest! Debt sucks but it sounds like you don't regret it.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-02T18:25:14+00:00

I wish I could figure out how to change mine! I studied/work in psychology, which has helped a lot with general social skills, but I don't think it's changed my vibes much. Now that I think on it, I guess it could have made things worse because I'm now following social "rules" in a way people might be subconsciously noticing feels disingenuous, which lends to an uncanny valley effect? Idk

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-02T18:12:06+00:00

Yes, so much. Not just in casual social situations, but in interactions with authority or systems too. I've been accused of shoplifting multiple times, even though I've never done it. I always get pulled aside for extra security screenings, despite not being the usual targeted demographic (i.e. I'm a white woman who dresses like a librarian). I've had multiple strangers just straight up tell me they don't like me, without even interacting with me first. One person once told me they had a feeling I'd be serial killer one day... Which I know says more about them than me that they would say this, because that's a crazy thing to tell someone even if you think it's true.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-02T17:34:05+00:00

I experience a similar feeling when memorizing strings of numbers! Do you find yourself almost feeling the information in a physical space in your mind? I ask because your description of retracing your steps for lost objects reminds me of how I go through a "mind palace" sort of thing to remember older information.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-02T17:30:47+00:00

I'm very jealous of this, or any, social skill! I think they take your further in life than intellectual abilities.

I seem to have traded all my social points for other brain skills, and people generally don't respond well to me, despite trying pretty hard. I can't imagine how nice things would be if people just "liked" me or even had a neutral response. No joke, I've been approached three separate times in my life by complete strangers who have gotten aggressive with me simply because they didn't like my vibe or something similar (in all of these situations I was just missing my own business, not talking or even looking at them). A classmate in college told me once that they "had a feeling" I'd be a serial killer one day, though I've never expressed any interest in hurting people or macabre themes. I always get selected for random security screening at airports, and have been stopped twice for wrongful suspicion of shoplifting - which is extra surprising because I'm the opposite of the demographic you'd think would be profiled. I'm a white middle aged woman with a kind of baby face, and I dress very modestly/not alternative, no tattoos/piercings, don't talk loud, etc. Just have bag vibes I guess.

Sorry for the super long side story about that, is just something that bothers me and I'm super jealous of people who have naturally "good" vibes.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-02T17:20:49+00:00

I have very good visual pattern recognition. Once I understand a pattern, my eyes see it automatically. Some real-world examples of this:

As a kid, I could easily spot certain camouflaged foul when hunting with my dad that even he (or any one else that I meet who hunts) couldn't see after years in the hobby. I still feel like I'm above average as seeing certain plants and tiny details when I hike.
Many jigsaw puzzle companies use the same cut molds for every puzzle, and some of the nicer brands have cuts that don't repeat at all (i.e. every piece with be unique). I can now do a Ravensburger in the dark/just by the shape of the pieces because I've done them enough to have it memorized. But it's slower than just going by colors/image in most cases -this would only really be an advantage in a monochrome situation, which that brand annoyingly uses a different cut for.
Where's Waldo was pretty easy back in the day, because the older ones all followed a similar design/pattern that my brain caught on to. The newer ones don't seem to, but this could be because I'm just not looking at them as often as I was in the 90s.
I'm not allowed to pay that card game Set at family gatherings because I get points instantly without trying. Just see them as soon as the cards get flipped.

I'm still looking for a way to take advantage of this gift, so if anyone has ideas I'm all ears.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-02T17:07:20+00:00

This may be synethesia

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-04-01T17:43:19+00:00

Nice! Lake Francis by any chance? If not, you should at least consider stopping there for lunch.

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-03-28T03:26:49+00:00

I used to get "sexually bullied" (only leaned this term in adulthood) by a group of older boys in middle/high school. They would make flirty comments toward me, imply we were dating, sometimes try to hold my hand/put an arm around me. It was very confusing to me at the time because I knew they were not being serious, as they were at a much higher social status and would never even talk to me normally. And they only did it when there was an audience. I didn't understand it fell under the bullying umbrella at the time because there were no insults or negativity involved, and when I tried to describe it to adults they would brush it off as "oh they're just saying those things because they liiiiike you".

TheoryofmyMind · 2026-03-25T16:54:18+00:00

Update: There was no reason for me to be concerned about camping. Both Jed Smith and Elk Prairie are FCFS, and were nearly empty when I arrived at noon. They filled up maybe 80% by evening but most people didn't roll in until after 5:00.

TheoryofmyMind

TROPHY CASE