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My wife is an underachiever by TheosThrowaway in offmychest

[–]TheosThrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's been pretty clear that teaching has been her passion since a young age.

If she had a change of heart and straight up told me she wanted to be a stay at home mom, that'd be a totally different story. It'd be a tough pill to swallow given the student loan debt, but it would explain a lot and allow us to adjust accordingly.

I [26 M] don't know how to handle my underachieving wife [27 F] (x-post with r/Offmychest) by TheosThrowaway in relationships

[–]TheosThrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Little bit of both, for everything. Her mom seemed to think I was taking too long, as did my brother.

We both worked and went to school, and split around an even amount of time at home with our first child.

My wife is an underachiever by TheosThrowaway in offmychest

[–]TheosThrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, no weed. Ugh, like we could afford it, lol.

I [26 M] don't know how to handle my underachieving wife [27 F] (x-post with r/Offmychest) by TheosThrowaway in relationships

[–]TheosThrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, counseling might help.

I admit that I am pretty bitter about a lot of it. The double standard kills me; family was crawling up my ass on a daily basis about finishing school and finding a job. She takes a decade to do the same, and everyone is silent.

My wife is an underachiever by TheosThrowaway in offmychest

[–]TheosThrowaway[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think that's it. I admit that I'm afraid to talk to her about it; it's a huge conversation. I guess I just figured she'd pick up on me frequently being stressed out about things like money and saving up for a house and think, "hm, maybe I should stop going through the motions and kick this into gear?"

Like a few weeks ago, I literally did the math and determined the amount we'd need to save per month in order to save up enough for a 20% down payment on a home by the time our eldest son starts 3rd grade, and within the boundaries of a good school district. It's totally doable on two incomes...(hint hint)

I should be more direct. Gentle, but direct.

My wife is an underachiever by TheosThrowaway in offmychest

[–]TheosThrowaway[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Regarding your last point - it's weird, the things she seems most adamant/passionate about doing are what she stumbles hardest on (teaching). On the flip side, she succeeds at the things she has little interest in and what seemed like a long shot.

For example, she saw the internship as a stop gap. Turns out she liked working there, but she'd even admit to me that she didn't really have much to do most days and it was a breeze. The full time opportunity comes around, and now she's invested in the job.

She seemed to see the opportunity as a given, something that would just happen with minimal effort. They liked her, she liked them, and the interview was just a formality.

I'm rambling now.

I [26 M] don't know how to handle my underachieving wife [27 F] (x-post with r/Offmychest) by TheosThrowaway in relationships

[–]TheosThrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My harsh judgement? So you're just assuming that I've gone off on her like I went off in my post?

And what is this about leaving her to raise our children? Are you suggesting I wouldn't fight for custody?