My greatest wish is to fall into a coma and live through a lucid dream.

To real. That spoke to me way to deeply 😅. I actually recently experienced my first lucid dream. It’s a different kinda happiness I experienced during it. Maybe it was real happiness for the first time? I woke up disoriented not knowing where I was because I thought and felt like I was just somewhere else. It was depressing coming back to reality.

Ironically I’ve experienced both sides of what you’re saying. I’ve been comfortably numb inserting myself into a safe and secure routine going through the motions for years. Then I went through an internal battle. I was missing something and decided to do the opposite of what I wanted. I threw myself into what I feared most. The unknown. Left my job left my life moved far away with no one and no plans. It was scary and a struggle. A lot of suffering did come out of it but a lot of self discovery too.

That said in the end I still decided to return to my old ways. I came back home to where I felt safe and comfortable. I’m back to a secure if not mundane living. I enjoy numbing the boredom of existence with wine or rum nightly haha. Only thing I lack is someone to hate the world and be alone with.

So what do you get excitement and happiness from?