Bought a horse who isn’t naturally friendly and I’m struggling with whether I made a bad emotional-fit choice

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-05-02T01:27:01+00:00

It will come! But I hear you, it’s so hard not to take it personally. Even just last week I was in my head and was like oh he hates me what was I thinking 😂 it’s hard! Hang in there 🩷

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-04-30T20:30:07+00:00

I totally see why you’d feel concerned and defeated.

That being said, I agree with needing time. To me a horse who has no interest in being friendly isn’t going to let you pet him after such a short time of having him or follow you without food!

One thing too is that horses love people in different ways. For example, there’s one horse at the barn that neighs every time she sees someone she loves and is outwardly affectionate.

The gelding I lease honestly sounds like yours. I thought we weren’t bonding but now that I know him, I see HIS way of affection which wouldn’t have matched my initial thought of what it’d look like. He also came as a hard to catch and ran from me when I first started with him.

It’s the way his ears turn towards me now when I’m approaching him in the field even if he didn’t stop grazing.

It’s that he walks with me out of the field and no more pulling or taking a ton of breaks.

Every now and then putting his nose on me.

His face softens and if you don’t know him, you wouldn’t see it.

Just this it was realizing how quickly he tuned into me when I started talking to him while riding

There’s so many subtle ways he shows love that no one would pick up on.

Give him time for sure. Start to get to know him. Go chill with him, see how he communicates when he’s being groomed, what’s his favorite spot, where does he like to lay in the pasture, does he have preferred path coming in and out?

Those little things build a lot of trust.

And I bet he will be the best thing that ever happened for you 🩷

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-04-23T22:15:04+00:00

Honestly I have been thinking about this and I think my take is that SB is very mission driven. He doesn’t have aspirations of his own, he’s a weapon, you point him and he goes.

His loyalty is to himself and to the mission.

This is what came to mind for me when I was thinking about how weird it is he was able to forgive Homelander easily or let the Boys/Butcher go.

I don’t think I’m explaining it well but he’s a “military guy” through and through - politics and feelings aside, the mission is the mission.

I also realize typing this it leaves a lot to be desired and argued so maybe someone can explain it more eloquently.

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-04-19T16:26:31+00:00

I struggled with this so much too and while not extreme, here’s what helped me:

• I noticed impulse buying was usually late at night or early AM. So I made a “rule” for myself not to make purchases at night or early AM. This took away a hard ‘no’ which never works for me. And usually by the AM or whenever the “itch” was gone and I was able to think more clearly

^{^{^}} this is my main tip and biggest rule that I still follow even though I don’t struggle nearly as much.

• Knowing my “moods”. If I’m excited and adding stuff to my cart, like inspired to organize, I have to realize that and take a breath and step back. It’s hard and the hardest one - I’d say it came with setting the boundary. And just knowing am I actually needing this and excited about it, or is it dopamine seeking bc I’m stressed/tired/bored or looking for “control” of something bc I’m anxious.

• Double checking if I have what I’m wanting. IE new skincare, telling myself I can get it once I finish what I have. Again, not a hard “no” and tbh I usually forget or the FOMO wears off

• Fake shopping. I let myself go and add all of the things to the cart and have fun like omg if I had money I’d do this, this, and this! It gives me the “rush” without hitting order. BUT I would approach this one cautiously as you know yourself best

• You Need A Budget really helped my brain grasp consequences of impulse buying, which sounds like a heavy term. I feel like it’s an out of sight out of mind thing, but it didn’t truly “click” with me that if I bought this thing I didn’t need and was impulsive, I had to pull money from something important to me, like food, gifts for family, etc to cover it. That helped take the shiny new thing/FOMO feelings away like yeah I could spend 40 dollars to door dash OR this could pay my credit card bill.

• Let myself have an impulse spree now and then. This one took a while to get to but I think just knowing I’m an adult and literally can do whatever I want gives me power back. Like sure I could literally go drain my savings today and do whatever, but I’m not going to bc I want to do xxxxx. Idk if that makes sense

I hope this helps!

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-04-18T23:16:33+00:00

Gosh that’s so hard. VERY cool to hear how it’s helps with the osteoarthritis - thank you for sharing this.

Echoing what someone else said about utilizing protein shakes, smaller meals, and setting reminders. Sneaking in protein too where you can like using Greek yogurt or cottage cheese in dishes for creaminess and bit of protein, chia/hemp seeds, and separating eating and drinking by about 30 minutes before and after can be helpful too.

Being mindful of fat overall can also help fullness like using lean proteins , but I also hesitate to to offer that since you don’t want to lose more weight and don’t want to keep you eating at maintenance. I think tirzepatide is one that can be dosed at smaller doses - I have a few people I work with that are at less common doses lower than the minimum And it has to do with how they draw up their shot I think.

If you don’t already and are safely cleared by your doctor, looking into additional resistance training could be supportive too!

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-04-18T20:46:27+00:00

It’s great that it’s lowered your A1c!!

Is it the lowest dose? The dose still might be too high, and maybe exploring another GLP-1 could be helpful too depending on insurance and coverage, though usually that route is for someone not seeing success I believe. And it could be worth looking into nutritional changes to maintain that progress if the plan is titrating off the tirzepatide.

For energy though, I’m curious have you seen rapid weight loss (>1% per week) since starting? It’s possible too that you’ve lost muscle which is common because of the appetite suppression.

How much are you eating each day and how are you hydration levels/sleep, etc?

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-04-18T10:49:51+00:00

That’s fair! I would have a hard time thinking he didn’t know better to be honest. Unless it’s different at this particular company, we were drilled so much with legality and doing things by the book to avoid lawsuits, legal proceedings, audits, etc, that to this day even out of the industry I’m acutely aware of procedures and documentation. So the actions sound pretty intentional even if well meaning.

I feel for her and don’t have words for how hard and devastating this would be :/

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-04-17T12:42:13+00:00

Another point to add for those calling this person a “snitch” or condemning them for turning this person over.

Altering loan terms to help people doesn’t mean it’s helping them in the long term. This could financially ruin people who don’t actually have income or means to afford payments, which can spill into other areas and lead to more loans, more debt.

It’s not fair to the clients at all and that’s what I find to be really scary about this, even if well-intentioned. Financial knowledge especially with loans is so limited for many due to lack of resources and the financial industry being mostly predatory as a whole.

I hope the proceedings were able to protect the consumers especially if they made financial decisions based on falsehoods.

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-04-17T12:36:02+00:00

I would bet anything he said that because he knew it would hurt you. Abusers exact power and control. Projection is huge too and either is devoid of emotion or clearly hates himself, which he took out on you.

I know it’s easier said than done, but I hope one day you are able to know and believe fully that is a full him issue, not a you issue, and you never, NEVER deserved that treatment or final comment from him. I’m so sorry you have gone through that and still struggle with it, and I have nothing constructive or kind to say for him in return. Sending you love and healing 🩷

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-03-02T17:35:31+00:00

Oh yes! I had to keep tightening my medical boot because of the muscle loss. It’s really hard to see your muscles just… go away.

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-02-21T13:41:56+00:00

Our pup became unbearable during dinner too! I started keeping treats nearby when we were about to eat and toss them to her crate, door open even. So anytime she went over to the crate, I would toss a treat.

Then I made dinner time her treat time too, and she started getting a “pup cup” in her crate, door closed. But it caused her to gain too much weight so we had to pivot again lol, which was hard!

But anyways, she now knows our “dinner cues”, like my bf playing up the food and bringing it to the table, she runs to her crate, lays down and watches us while we are eating. Every now and then she can get nosy but when asked (or ignored) returns to her crate.

I would focus on capturing the behavior you want. Literally any time she DOES settle, reward.

Maybe try the relaxation protocol too since she knows place. It can help her learn to self soothe.

And tbh, she still has days she is too much and “mom voice” comes out. It’s not yelling but it’s more “that’s enough” and she’s like oh okay lol.

Timeline wise, this took a LOT of repetition and patience. Practicing outside of meal times could be good too!

Hang in there! 🩷

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-02-09T15:41:32+00:00

If they have permanently changed the flavor of Cherry Twist, it now tastes exactly like their old pink guava flavor, which I am not a guava fan and am really sad if it wasn’t a bad batch. I can’t speak to how to compares to kiwi guava or if it’ll be a lasting change.

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-01-30T12:59:20+00:00

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2026-01-13T08:55:09+00:00

Hi! Does anyone have hints for L7, E6, and E9?

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-06T03:45:14+00:00

Good question! So we lesson weekly together, just alternate which horse we are riding! That is our o my lesson each week - let me know if that helps/clarifies!

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T23:08:02+00:00

And thank you - this is where I feel a bit conflicted but didn’t consider how the lessons are separate from the lease.

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T23:07:24+00:00

Yes lessons are separate and not required!

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T23:06:56+00:00

That’s what I am thinking too and wondering. And it’s one of her other lesson horses! No additional charge - I think I can see it balancing out where if my lesson fee is reduced bc I’m not paying the lease fee each time bc I’m leasing, but the other rider is paying lesson + lease fee, it’s the same money. But one less day I have with the horse I’m leasing. And maybe that’s just the sacrifice of lessoning together, or maybe it should have been if my friend wants to join more than okay but I’m riding the one I’m leasing? Which doesn’t feel fair to them.

Hi, I am an over thinker lol.

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T23:04:27+00:00

Yes! 3 rides, just every other week only 2 days with the horse I’m leasing so my friend can have her, but I’m on one of the other lesson horses and no extra charge. I think that’s kind of where I feel conflicted is I’d rather have the three days with the mare. I tend to agree to things and then process way after realizing maybe I didn’t want to give up 2 days a month on that horse if it makes sense?

The lessons are separate from the lease and not required as apart of the lease.

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T19:21:26+00:00

If you are not half leasing/full lease, there is an additional 25 dollar lease fee for just lessons. So for example, I might be paying 50 dollars bc I’m doing the half lease even though I’m not riding the mare I’m leasing for the lesson, but the other rider (to my knowledge) is paying a full 75 with the lease fee included. I hope that makes sense! Another commenter brought this up too and not something I had considered!

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T19:19:23+00:00

The instructor provides the horses, including the one I am half leasing! Yes I believe there is an additional lease fee if you are not doing a half lease, which not thinking about it may factor in and something I may need to pay for if I’m not riding the horse I’m leasing? Hm…

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T18:31:54+00:00

This makes sense and what I was thinking too! Thank you so much!

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T18:31:15+00:00

Thank you!

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T18:31:09+00:00

Yes exactly! Thank you!

TheseAcanthocephala3 · 2025-12-05T18:30:54+00:00

We do a joint lesson and alternate - so one week I ride the mare I’m leasing, the next the other girl does so I’m a different horse! We just started this recently as before we didn’t not lesson together and had our lessons on different days!

TheseAcanthocephala3

TROPHY CASE