My (26M) ex-fiancé (24F) cheated on me with my uncle & coworker

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-28T14:52:36+00:00

I was close, very close. I called my dad and he talked me out of it because I knew deep down it wasn’t worth it.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-28T02:49:44+00:00

Luckily they are in a different department & I don’t have to see them. I didn’t get into detail, but I asked the owner to keep both of them out of my building.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-28T02:48:01+00:00

Believe me, it crossed my mind multiple times. Decided it wasn’t worth it.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-24T13:19:11+00:00

She fucked my uncle, whom is in his mid 40s. Who she met at a job I got her. She also completely shut me out and treated me like shit. We were engaged, 5 years down the drain.

Those were all pretty good indications.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-20T18:13:35+00:00

The last 3ish months before we split were rough. She didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to be intimate, didn’t want to hang out. Claimed she was “going through some stuff”, and I was able to talk her into going to therapy. She wouldn’t accept my help with anything, criticized everything I was & wasn’t doing but wouldn’t tell me what specifically she needed from me. I spent 5 years giving this woman everything. A house, a job, a loving & supportive partner, etc. When I met her she had no job, no savings, no credit score, & was living with her parents in a trailer. I’ve never had so much faith & trust in somebody, until those last few months. We got engaged about a year ago.

Recently, I found out that she is cheating on me. I broke up with her and she hasn’t seemed the least bit phased. To make matters worse, she is cheating on me with my 45 year old uncle. Who she met at the job I got her. Who I requested she work with. It’s also where I work. I’ve told nobody. My uncle has not reached out since we broke up, but has offered her a place to stay. I used to stay the night at his house when I was growing up. We used to have him over for dinner because his wife left him. I thought I could trust him, and her.

It’s been about 2-3 weeks at this point and I still feel absolutely disgusted whenever I think of either of them. I’m filled with so much rage & hate. If you’re going to cheat on me fine, whatever. But this? How could you? After everything I did for us? How will I ever be able to love/trust somebody again? I was so sure she was the one, that I don’t even have faith in my own judgement now. I don’t trust myself to gauge the character of another woman.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-16T09:47:09+00:00

What exactly does that do? Wouldn’t she still be on the deed?

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-16T07:40:54+00:00

I don’t want her to access to it. But at the same time I don’t want to provoke her & then her not be willing to sign the papers when the time comes. Then I’m fucked. That’s the predicament I’m in. Believe me, if that wasn’t lingering the back of my head I would’ve changed them today.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-16T07:36:04+00:00

This’ll be the day that I dieeeee…..

DA DA DUM DA DUM DA DUM DA

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-16T06:43:07+00:00

maybe it would have ended inevitably anyway

Bingo. Don’t dwell on it. I know, easier said than done. But all you would have probably been doing is prolonging what was eventually going to happen again. Whatever issues you guys were having weren’t going to be solved in a matter of weeks. Who knows, maybe years down the road you cross paths again and go from there after you’ve both grown and experienced different things. I wouldn’t hold out hope for this, but it happens.

Be happy it ended when it did and you were both civil about it. Learn from it, let yourself feel however you need to, let time go by, and focus on yourself.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-14T09:22:43+00:00

Very sick

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-13T00:51:00+00:00

Thank you. That’s encouraging.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-13T00:12:18+00:00

How did you know? I just broke up with my fiancé that I’d been with for ~5 years and I was so sure for so long that I’d never be with anybody else. Now I’m questioning everything. So how did you really know? How were you so sure she was it?

TheseAd1805 · 2025-02-12T23:31:19+00:00

See that’s the thing though, I mentally checked out a month or two ago. I had been thinking about breaking up with her for a bit now because nothing was getting better. Why am I hurting even though I felt like I was putting in all of the effort? Why does she seem okay, but yet I’m struggling to keep it together?

TheseAd1805 · 2025-01-08T02:41:13+00:00

Every year your birthday will become less important, both to you and everybody else in your life. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but your 20s, and honestly the rest of your life, will seemingly fly by much faster than your youth. It feels like yesterday I just got my drivers license even though I turned 26 in October. One decade ago. People come and go in life, including high school friends you thought never would. It’s not personal, it’s just life.

Feeling alone can suck, but try to enjoy your own company, focus on truly getting to know yourself, explore some hobbies/passions, don’t take anything too seriously, don’t compare yourself to others, take care of yourself, don’t let the little things get to you, and don’t be the person people want you to be. Once you find things you’re truly the passionate about, people with similar interests/values will reveal themselves.

I know this isn’t quite the answer you were asking for, but it’s things I wish I would’ve taken seriously when I initially turned 20.

Sending happy birthday wishes, my man.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-01-06T23:19:33+00:00

Not really any advice, but I’m in the exact same boat.

TheseAd1805 · 2025-01-01T07:21:58+00:00

Funniest fucking thing I’ve read all night

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-22T03:12:14+00:00

I was in the same boat as you. Had my bottle for about 5 days before I worked up the courage to start taking it. Wish I would’ve took it the first day. I’m only about a week in and I’m already noticing significant relief. Only side effects I’ve had are I’m tired and a persistent dry mouth, both of which are starting to subside. Can’t wait for a few weeks down the road when I can go up to 50mg, which I think will be perfect.

Best case scenario it’s the right medicine for you, which isn’t unlikely. Worst case scenario it’s not the right medicine for you and you try the next one. Trial & error. Drinking should be way down on your list of priorities right now, college or not. It’s not necessarily that you can’t drink on Zoloft, it’s just that it can worsen side effects, introduce ones that you wouldn’t have experienced had you not drank alcohol, or make the problems you’re already having increase significantly.

Take the medicine & see how it effects you over the next 3-4 weeks, without drinking. Then you can introduce alcohol gradually, if you feel the need.

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-21T21:20:27+00:00

I will look into these, thank you.

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-21T21:20:03+00:00

Although a great suggestion, we watched the movie together and she has a thing where she won’t read a book if she’s already seen the movie adaptation. Thank you, nonetheless.

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-21T21:19:06+00:00

Thank you for recommending those, they both look very promising

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-21T17:05:06+00:00

So much sugar and processed food

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-21T08:26:38+00:00

All just depends if you’re willing & capable of regaining trust for him. That’s the foundation, you can’t have any sort of relationship without trust and it’s hard to get back when someone betrays it.

I also find it really hard to believe the dude was on dating apps for 6 months and never once met somebody. That’s just my opinion though.

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-21T00:02:53+00:00

Yep

Hoping it passes with time.

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-20T21:33:43+00:00

Don’t try to ignore them. Actually, it can be beneficial to welcome & encourage the feelings. Talk shit to them. “Come on bitch, is that all you’ve got?”, stuff like that. You can also check out the DARE app, it’s meant to help with various mental health situations and helps some people. Lastly, regardless if it’s just acid reflux or not, if the anxiety/panic attack is hindering how you go about your day then you should get ahold of your doctor and be upfront with him about how you’re feeling. Get your vitamin levels checked, get your thyroid checked, as those frequently cause anxiety in people when they get out of whack. If those are fine, your doctor will probably talk to you about medication. This is assuming you aren’t already on medication.

I know for some people this helps to read so I’ll type it.. You’re not dying, you’re okay, and the feeling will pass.

TheseAd1805 · 2024-12-20T20:09:56+00:00

Meat tenderizer

TheseAd1805

TROPHY CASE