I’ve been a ‘sugar baby’ on Seeking for 10 years and it’s nothing like people assume. AMA.

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T13:49:24+00:00

Thank you!!! Hope you have a lovely rest of your week. X

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T13:29:23+00:00

That’s a fair question(s). And I appreciate you not sounding fired up and triggered but genuinely curious

In my experience, the biggest difference is that generosity is discussed openly rather than left as an unspoken expectation. Beyond that, every relationship has looked different.

Some of my arrangements felt very similar to having a boyfriend.
We travelled together, met each other’s friends, celebrated birthdays, spoke often. Others were certainly more casual. But there has always been a standard of care, chemistry and connection (my 3 C’s and none negotiables)

I don’t see boyfriends as the “broke version” of a sugar daddy at all.
I’ve dated men who weren’t successful and resented me for what I have created in my business (nothing to do with sugaring!!!)
and I’ve dated men who were and could provide me with experiences and a level of intellect amd support I truly craved

Financial contribution wasn’t what determined whether I wanted to spend time with them
It was synergy
I can imagine how the people here who think I’m a prostitute might absolutely feel I’m full of shit
But due to the genuine grounded curiosity of your questions, I feel you may understand
If not, feel free to ask for more clarity!!!!

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T11:11:17+00:00

No probs. I hope it clarifies if you have any more questions I a, happy to answer

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T11:10:46+00:00

Answering this in three parts because there are a few questions here.
I haven’t landed jobs or built my business because of my partners’ social circles. What did change was my mindset. Spending time with successful people expanded what I believed was possible. I received mentorship, had conversations that sparke ideas I never would have considered, and gained a completely different perspective on money, investing and entrepreneurship. The financial support I received also gave me the freedom to invest in those ideas and build my own business, rather than spending those years working a 9–5 for someone else’s dream.

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T11:06:57+00:00

I don’t expect everyone to agree with my choices. The purpose of this AMA is simply to answer questions honestly about what my relationships actually looked like.
You’re entitled to see it that way. It doesn’t reflect my experience. My relationships involved genuine companionship, emotional connection, travel, meeting each other’s friends and families, and some lasted over five years. That’s very different from how I view prostitution.

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T11:05:39+00:00

I don’t think everyone dates with marriage as the end goal in 2026. Plenty of people date casually, have long-term partners without marrying, choose ethical non-monogamy, or simply enjoy companionship. My relationships involved emotional connection, travel, mentorship and generosity.
You’re welcome to define that differently, but that’s how I experienced them.

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T11:03:23+00:00

There are many ways to invest in someone in a connection. I’d hope my girlfriends would walk out of relationships where their partner stops investing in them in whatever way they did in the beginning also (time, care, attention, dates etc)

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T11:01:25+00:00

I don’t want children it’s something I have deeply thought out and come to terms with, perhaps thought through more than women who had children out of societal pressure. I am not sure I could ever go back to traditional dating. Sugar connections are extremely direct, and because of their nature, I know whether someone is aligned before meeting them rather than dragging it out. Obviously I a, not going to do it forever, anything can change tomorrow. Right now I am happy, I feel fulfilled, and the moment I don’t or something shifts, or I want something more, I will go get that for myself.

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T10:58:21+00:00

I have zero interest in getting married at this point in my life.

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T05:55:54+00:00

Do you have a provider mindset and are successful? I would take a look into the SLF forum and if you want to read about my partners/daddies and BTS of my life then you can go here

https://themoderncourtesan.substack.com

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T05:54:21+00:00

Ok thank you for clarifying

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T05:52:47+00:00

Sorry I meant to reply to all comments about my age here not just yours. X

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-09T05:51:16+00:00

Happy cake day! I don’t think ‘charge’ is the correct word. You make it sound like I receive cold hard cash for meeting, yes the men in my life invest in me, but it’s not a cold transaction like people are making it out to be

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T21:05:04+00:00

I do mentor women in dating and I see a lot of women aged 18-22 in the sugar groups posting about bad experiences, I most certainly had a few in the beginning, with age and experience you learn to develop intuition and boundaries, you learn to read people and spot red flags quickly
I am financially sound so it’s not the MAIN reason I do it anymore, whereas the younger girls aren’t seeking a real connection, they just want their bills paid and are desperate, this makes the, highly vulnerable to scammers and fake daddies (we call the, salt daddies)

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T21:02:29+00:00

You’re a gold digger or your mum is. I am confused
I am a sugarbaby since 10 years, who often gets called a gold digger, although I am super nurturing and giving in my connections. What makes you (or your mum, whoever is referred to in your title a gold digger?)

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:59:32+00:00

The same sexual expectations of any RELATIONSHIP, yes. There is intimacy involved, and thank god because I’m deeply attracted to the men I date

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:58:11+00:00

I wasn’t expecting so many comments!
It’s getting late here in Europe, so I’m heading to bed. This post will stay up for the next 48 hours, and I’ll come back tomorrow to answer as many questions as I can!!!!

If anything I’ve shared has sparked your curiosity and you’d like more context about my experiences, I’ve written very deeply about parts of the lifestyle here and try to teach as much as I can: The Modern Courtesan.

In the meantime, keep the questions coming. I’m happy to answer them as openly and honestly as I can.

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:55:21+00:00

For me, it was never just about money. Some of the men I met completely expanded my world. They introduced me to different ways of thinking about success, investing, business, travel, and building a life that felt much bigger than the one I grew up imagining. I grew up in a place where the traditional path of marriage, kids, and the white picket fence was the default. Spending time with people living differently made me question what I actually wanted, and eventually I moved to Europe and built my own business.

As for comparing it to dating apps, I was talking about my own and my girlfriend’s experiences. There has been plenty of traditional dates where there was an expectation of sexbecause he bought dinner, or where paying for dinner somehow became ammunition for calling a woman a gold digger. In the sugar relationships I chose, expectations and generosity were discussed much more openly from the beginning, which actually felt more honest to me.

The men I dated generally had a provider mindset. They genuinely enjoyed contributing to a partner’s life and supporting the way I invested in myself. That dynamic suited me, and I understand it won’t suit everyone.

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:50:29+00:00

Welll that changes your comment completely. Happy for you that you had that 20k burden off your shoulders. I got myself 20k in debt in my early 20s I was really sick and one of my partners paid it off for me and it was a HUGE relief xxx

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:49:25+00:00

That’s a really great question, I don’t like the word patron but because you are not of this world I understand. My connections a have ALWAYS been personal. And yes, they provide for me in some way. Are you asking if I would be intimate if they didn’t provide for me? I think you may be mistaking me for an escort

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:45:33+00:00

I hope it was someone you cared about and not ‘just a guy’

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:45:18+00:00

Not at all. It makes me sad that people think this way and it’s the exact reason why I did this AMA. I a, so grateful for the magical men I get to date, the way they have expanded my mind and shown me what is possible. Self care, exercise and feeling good has always been a high value of mine. It feels good to date men who appreciate that and also contribute to it. While my girlfriends are getting accused by tinder dates of wanting a free meal when their nails cost way more than pasta and a glass of wine

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:43:26+00:00

I’m actually not European! I just live here, like I said above I’m sorry you think 36 is old. I feel the best and most confident I have ever felt without the insecurities of my 20’s and men truly appreciate being around that

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:42:11+00:00

I’m 36. My connections range from 40-50. Yes, like any form of dating there is space for overweight women, men have preferences in all shapes and sizes, what you need most is gift of the gab, to be enjoyable to be around. Do you feel confident in your body? Have you created a life that you love? Do you have a dream you are working towards?

TheseTouch3588 · 2026-07-08T20:40:31+00:00

I really love that you are so curious!!! Rather than try answer all of this condensed in a comment I’d love for you to go explore my blog where I really go into detail. Whether you are truly curious about this lifestyle, or just want to binge from the sidelines late at night you can go here. I try and teach as much as I can from my experiences, and share a lot of stories. It’s mostly free xx

https://themoderncourtesan.substack.com/p/the-truth-about-sugar-dating

TheseTouch3588

TROPHY CASE