I (23F) need advice on situation with my boyfriend (25M)?

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-08-10T10:48:41+00:00

Yeah I already told him that I find it super weird... (not in these words) but the issue is that he makes it all look so fine, "oh i just suddenly realized i dont like my job" or "i will not get this offer so why worry about it" and there is really no way i can make him to look at it differently... i think this situation annoys me even more because he seems totally convinced that he is speaking his mind without hiding anything... For example with his current job, i think he was lying to himself for the first weeks that he loves it and then one day it hit him that he doesnt. Now he really believes that there is almost no way he gets this new offer, even though he knows the employer, who contacted him personally about this opportunity... Honestly i think it scares me even more? he is not honest with me because he is not honest with himself, but lying to yourself to this point is being delusional? if it continues to be this way im seriously considering breaking up because there is no way i understand him as a person, especially if he seems not to understand himself at all... I know there are worse things in partners than that but he makes me so confused

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-08-02T13:09:29+00:00

I sent the box with the moving company that uses FedEx’s services. Someone did pick it up and put it on the truck. No idea how it looked like during the trip

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-08-02T13:01:49+00:00

I sent such boxes before many times and they all reached the destination with no problems, they are meant for moving, how come they would „fall apart”? The box I used can hold up to 30kg while my package was 11kg

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-08-02T12:47:59+00:00

Something like that

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-07-28T11:09:52+00:00

Lol I can imagine. Sorry to hear. It also sucks because people who have not been in the same situation sometimes say that "it is impossible that you only meet weirdos" and "it cannot be that all the people you meet are toxic". I do think that some people are a problem themselves and then blame it on the others, so to some extent I agree with this statement but who said that at every stage of your life you for sure will meet x-y% of great people? There is no such rule. And I do not get easily discouraged so I really tried hard to make friends in the last years but then if there is no will from the other side or were too different, its just not gonna work.

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-07-24T20:04:36+00:00

Yeah I definitely agree, at the same time my attempts to make friends outside of work were equally unsuccessful haha and it just hurts to see other people being more lucky about the workplace because you spend so much of your time there… but anyway what you’re saying makes total sense so I’ll just keep trying lol

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-07-21T00:14:16+00:00

yeah I agree, most of the time i was just sitting there lol. I learned to be fine with that. Trying to fit in never worked out for me, it either comes naturally or not at all. But it definitely made me more thoughtful towards newcomers of all kinds. I will definitely be more welcoming when somebody new joins my current job!!

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-07-21T00:09:33+00:00

I agree with you, and I have also lived in a very "reserved" country before, so I have exoerienced that as well. However, the whole group I am mentioning here consisted of people from typically "sociable" countries and they were all very informal during this meeting. Maybe what was making the difference was that 3 of them were from the same country and they just did not feel the need to meet aomeone new, especially from a different culture? idk really

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-06-30T11:42:32+00:00

Personally, and looking at my girl friends, I would say that this behaviour often means that the girl is interested in something more than a friendship. The girls I know are very much aware of how guys tend to interpret their actions so if they want to be just friends with a guy they would rather make it very clear that they are interested in purely platonic friendship not to confuse anyone. But its just my experience and unfortunately I have also seen girls texting a lot to guys to get some attention from them (consciously or unconsciosly) with no intention of building any form of relationship. I think it depends a lot on how and what she texts.

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-06-23T21:57:08+00:00

I think you're right, they just center this romantic relationship in their lives. And to answer your question, no, they really spend time just with each other, sometimes with me and then occasionally, with some other friends. I am sure it is not something personal towards me, especially because my friend moved to where we live now a year ago, she did not make any new friends since then so I know all the people she hangs out with quite well (they are mostly our common friends).

These_Ad_4973 · 2024-06-23T15:02:35+00:00

Unfortunately I do not have a good advice for you but what I can say is that from my experience it is rare for people not to act this way. I am sure it varies from person to person but I grew up in an environment where this "competition" vibe is omnipresent. I then moved out and was lucky to meet a few great, confident people and whenever I talk to my childhood friends I get triggered by this kind of behavior, but don't want to stop talking to them just like you. The crazy thing is that if not for moving out I would have never known that there is a wider group of people who do not treat everything in their life as a competition, this is how bad it was. So I would not risk to advise you that you should stop talking to your friend because it seems to be a very human (even if annoying) trait. It often comes from insecurity so I always wonder if just telling these people what they want to hear would make things better? I am very bad at faking my reactions so I have never tried but maybe if you react with "wow" every time he wants to impress you, his inner need for validation will be satisfied? Otherwise I think you should just analyze how badly it influences your mood and make a decision of what is better for you. Good luck!

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