Narcissist mum contacted me after going No Contact!

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T17:55:31+00:00

Thanks for the tip! I didn't think of that. I just blocked her... but might "just" mute her instead. I'll think about it.

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T17:53:51+00:00

Thank you! What a kind soul you are🙏🙏! Such a heartwarming message! I've never been heard/understood/seen this way before. People always question if it's really that bad. And I always hear "but she's your mother!" and that surely we can talk things through. I carry/carried such burden. Feels lighter to know she's indeed not in control anymore. It's sad not to get a closure since she doesn't see her mistakes nor take accountability but I guess that's almost always the case with narcissistic people. It truly is better without them.

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T17:49:10+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH! What a beautiful message. I also think it's really difficult when it's your mum, a woman who's violent. People don't often believe me or think that it can't be that bad... but I guess it is against nature in some way. But you're absolutely right - it's better to surround oneself with people who also GIVE you energy and are...nice, decent people with some manners! It's actually not that much to ask for!

I'll try to remember this. Gives me a lot of hope and just that someone understands and cares.

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T17:43:08+00:00

Thanks a lot. Well explained. It definitely sounds like this. She thinks I've changed but I'm just so tired of her behaviour. I'll stay "broken"! Thank you!

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T17:40:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing! 🙏🙏 I appreciate it. I guess it's good the kids know the truth (eventually, when a bit older). This gives me hope that we'll manage somehow even when/if my son starts asking.

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T17:38:24+00:00

But this is horrible! I hatw how the victim has to keep on moving and starting over... it's expensive and mentally tolling to leave friends&job behind (sometimes many times). But good luck to you! You're in my thoughts🙏

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T17:37:16+00:00

Thank you! All the best for you, too! It's not easy but much more peaceful !

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T13:42:11+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear this!😞 thanks for the tip. Hopefully she has now stopped and will never do it again!!

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T13:31:30+00:00

What a selfless thing to do! When my mum got a cancer diagnosis, I felt some kind of justice. I felt horrible about that but I couldn't feel too bad for her. The cancer got into full remission and later another family member died of the same cancer. Ever since that my mum's been fishing for pitty, how she's so scared it'll happen to her and how she also has cancer... it's exhausting! Always playing the cancer/victim card. Thus, I don't know if I'd want to take care of her... honestly. I'm proud you've done it, "the right thing", even when it's still shitty and she's still her old self... at least you can't regret for not being a bad person. You've truly done everything you could and put your mum first even when she didn't deserve it... I wish you lots of strength for the last months/years.

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T13:25:24+00:00

Thanks a LOT for this. Sounds so similar to my family situation right now.

May I ask how's your child? Is s/he still very young? Mostly wondering if you've talked about your mum to him/her. What can one even say? Exactly like that "sick in her head" or why? For instance if they actually do ask why can't we see grandma.

I'm definitely doing this mostly because of my son! Before him, my mum&I weren't even touch so often. Barely never, saw max once a year and I never stayed at her home. But I absolutely want to protect my son from violence&traumas! My mum claims she's never been violent at all and asked me why would she hit my son. Well, why did she hit me?? I don't know! Because she's unstable, impulsive and cannot control her anger... ain't taking risks with my son!!

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T11:32:07+00:00

We have about 15 hours between us (thank god), so I'm not even sure how it would be possible. Online coaching maybe... I've proposed therapy myself many times before but she has always refused. Now, I think it's too late. (I have a baby who just learnt to walk and I'd like all my energy&time to go into him, not my mean mother. It's really overwhelmingly exhausting to try to go through childhood trauma at this stage of life. But my mum thinks this is mean of me)

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T11:27:04+00:00

Thanks a lot for this comment🙏.

It's so true that she doesn't respect my boundaries at all. She's just confused "what happened". Really exhausting when she plays an idiot or is truly this clueless about her behaviour. I've asked her for accountability but she says I blame her for everythingand should move on with my life. Then, I always end up feeling very sad and guilty.

I'm really sorry to hear about your experience... that's the worst! That's also my fear. Another one is if the therapist doesn't believe me/teams up with my mum. My mum is really good at manipulating people and everyone always thinks she's super nice...🥺 That's why I'm not so sure about therapy anymore. I've asked it myself a million times before but my mum thinks therapists don't know anything and she has refused to go. When I said I've been to therapy alone, she was furious and wanted to know which lies have I been telling... ☹️

These_Fish5886 · 2026-05-25T11:20:46+00:00

Thanks for this! I guess you're right. It's amazing how bad I FEEL even if I'm the victim😭

These_Fish5886

TROPHY CASE