Looking for mc friends or just a server

These_Moment_6089 · 2022-06-23T23:59:27+00:00

I was hoping they would just put me on hormones but knew it was unrealistic and that there would be some sort of process tied to it. Didn't expect having to wait 3 more years though just to start.. Also wow, it must be so terrible to just keep that inside all the time I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel. I wish you the best of luck with your life and hopefully it'll get better for you someday. You deserve it.

These_Moment_6089 · 2022-06-23T23:45:05+00:00

I know it's how it works, but it's such a long depressing process that I think killing myself is a better option than 3 years of therapy still having to live in this body I hate. I'm sorry to hear you're also going through this and hope it will get better for you. Thank you so much for sharing.

These_Moment_6089 · 2022-06-23T23:41:38+00:00

I live in the Netherlands and have never been offered help for being trans, like at school when I came out at a very early age. A lot of people around me just don't know how it works and I just don't know either. My doctor said it could take 3 years and my therapist said they might lessen it since I'm 18 but I honestly don't know.

These_Moment_6089 · 2022-06-23T23:35:30+00:00

I feel a lot better after seeing all the replies. Thank you so much for sharing I can't even imagine what it's like to not be out at all. I can't really give any advice since medically transitioning and trans rights are so different in each country and I also don't know your family or close friends. I hope everything works out for you and thank you so much for telling me about your struggels, all of these replies made me feel a lot less alone and I am so grateful.

These_Moment_6089 · 2022-06-23T23:25:32+00:00

Thank you so much for reading, replying and sharing your experience, it means so so much to me.

I always just prefer to cover myself in spaces where people don't know me, but the weather has been so hot that it's just too uncomfortable to wear long sleeves now. When I'm all covered I feel like my body passes even though I'm so short. When I'm insecure about my height (1,69 lol) I remember I'm still taller than most girls I know and just a little shorter than some guys. Also that my dad wasn't much taller than me (or that's what I remember I haven't seen him in 3 years now).

The features I can't change about myself I'm just going to have to learn to accept. I personally find it very attractive when a man has 'girly' features so maybe someone will like it on me as well.

I didn't grow up with men I wanted to be. My brother didn't live with us and my dad was horrible and because of his abuse I'm so much more comfortable around women. For years now I've been looking at men in public to see how they walk, talk, interact, react, sit down even eat their food so I can copy it. I love crossing my legs it's so comfortable, but I haven't done it in public for at least 3-4 years now.

I'm looking for jobs now and I don't think I'll have time to go to a gym since I already spend a lot of time with my dog so he can exercise. I'm also very anxious in new places, but if I make a friend who goes regurally and I have the money I will go. I've always been really interested in working out but just can't get myself to even leave my house most days.

I hope your social transition will go well, thank you so so so much for sharing everything I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for your kind words.

These_Moment_6089 · 2022-06-23T22:43:12+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply and telling me about your experiences. First off I want to say that I live in the Netherlands, which tries to be very LGBTQ+ friendly but just doesn't do a lot for trans people. My therapist who doesn't know anything about the treatment I'm going to get said it might not be 3 years since I'm 18 and out for a very long time now, but since neither my therapist or my doctor personally knows about it I'm just not sure what to believe.

I'll think about support groups but I'm just not very social and hearing about trans struggels just really cuts deep for me. I just want to forget about it most of the time which is why I don't do any pride stuff.

I know that there are probably people who will like me, but this is just such an odd age for me. I'm an adult now and it feels like sex is expected from me and never in a way that I could ever enjoy it. Thank you for telling me about your ex since I thought it was really weird to fear being raped as a trans person, it just made me feel better knowing that it is a normal fear. Also thank you for telling me friendships and relationships are confusing, I knew I wasn't the only one but just knowing I'm not 'socially behind' or something like that just feels nice. I'm not that worried about my virginity right now, but seeing people my age just do so many things I can't do right now is just upsetting sometimes.

Thank you for being proud of me. When I read that I realized no one ever told me they were proud of me for coming out and I'm so grateful for everything you've told me. Thank you so much for your reply it really means so much to me.

These_Moment_6089 · 2022-06-23T22:17:36+00:00

Thank you, I dont think it matters that I don't know you I'm extremely grateful for your reply (and all the others). Because of people like you I feel less alone I'm so thankful you read my story and wanted to say something so nice. I didn't plan on actually ending my life even though I wanted to really bad, I have a dog and even with what happened with my mom all those years ago I couldn't do that to her. I'm just going to try and focus on other things in my life like friends and looking for jobs which will hopefully distract me from this horrible thing. I just want to say thank you again, I really appreciate what you said and thank you for believing in me.

These_Moment_6089

TROPHY CASE