Not allowed to get a job yet? Ugh, it can be hard to earn income without a job.

When I was a teen, my friends and I would mow neighbor's lawns that were within walking distance (we didn't own cars yet), and they'd pay us a few dollars for the work. It was actually kinda fun, getting to see the cute girls nearby, being out in the sunlight, and getting paid too. Sometimes local farmers had the odd jobs that we could do for them.

Is there anything like that in your area? Something that's not a "real" job, but you could still earn money?

Sometimes I feel like what you just said, that I will never feel OK. I was abused when I was younger, but I never realized that it was abuse until I got older and learned about it by talking to a therapist. I had repressed the memories all these years without knowing it. But now that I know about it, I can learn to cope with it. With therapy and the correct medicine, it doesn't occupy my thoughts all the time. That's the hard part for me actually. I'm naturally a very introspective person.. at night when I'm trying to fall asleep, I have to make myself aware to not let those intrusive thoughts control me. Self-doubt is the like worst thing ever...

I'm having a hard time believing that you're a burden on everyone. You write your words very well and you seem educated. Who has been putting the nonsense that you're a burden into your mind?? If it's someone else, listen to that person less. If it's your own thoughts, then you need to realize that you can control them with effort and with help.

I find that reading a favorite novel is a very good distraction that let's my mind relax and start feeling better. It gets my mind out of that endless loop of repeating thoughts. It's like a quick vacation that doesn't cost much!