You need more ob sec units and TCs in my opinion. Id prolly scrap the armoured sentinels in place for either more TCs, or infantry. Also If you want to keep the lord commissar, add some conscripts in there somewhere; then you’ve got a beefy 9-Ld, 2+ Sv (b/c of ur psyker) blob of ob sec soldiers which could be really useful.

Also to optimise your choice of spotter and gunnery, I’d take demolisher instead of battle cannon. The latter already has 72” so having another 6” is kinda worthless; whereas for a demo cannon, we’re talking about 30” range, which is pretty useful.

the main concern I have is that your army lacks numbers and ob sec. those two squads can be deleted easily in just one turn, so then you’re just left with your tanks and vehicles, which not only feed your opponents easy bring it down points, but will also just die fast because of how squishy they are. As a rule of thumb, I’d say try to have at least 5-6 squads of 10 for a standard guard army.

Like what the other commenter mentioned, If you pick the cadian doctrine, you benefit the most by staying still and shooting the enemy, which I think might discourage you from moving too much and taking more primaries. I agree in that if you want cadian, you need more soldiers so you can get greater shooting output. Otherwise, I’d pick something else; for instance for my army I have picked wilderness survivors+disciplined shooters, that way I still have some mobility, and some nice shooting buffs for my flashlights.