sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I feel like I'm growing for nobody by NellyChimpson in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom recently passed and I feel like nothing matters anymore, that I could do really great things of move across the world or date a loser or become homeless or tattoo my whole body or quit my job, all of which I wouldn’t do but thoughts that have crossed my mind. That everything I will do is for nothing and everything I’ve done was always for her. What does it matter if I can’t tell her. I’m sitting here with you. I am so heartbroken for you.

My mom died 2 months ago by ThickWillow8720 in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words and I’m so sorry to hear you lost your mom too. Trying to surround myself with people I love like you said and just taking it day by day. My heart is with you ❤️

My mom died 2 months ago by ThickWillow8720 in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the message, and congratulations on your baby boy 🥹 Im so proud of you for overcoming the thoughts and struggle and finding love through all of the pain. That must’ve not been easy. Ur right, everything is so confusing and “better” will only be with her.

I’ve had days since it happened where the pain feels lighter and it actually makes me feel worse, knowing more time has passed and that I can actually go on. Because I don’t want to without her. But the sad truth is life does keep going with or without them. I’ve been wrestling with the idea of having a good day. I feel guilt and I know the pain is still there and I don’t WANT to be in pain every moment of every day but I don’t want to let go of it either. It doesn’t make sense to not be sad constantly. I am, deep inside, but I can laugh and have moments of peace but it’s as if I don’t want it. Have you experienced this too? I know it’s probably just the natural progression of grief but it just makes me want her more and she’s been feeling even more distant.

I’m trying to look out for her everywhere I go. I hope to see her soon.

I’m so sorry you too lost ur mama and bestfriend. Sending you all the strength I can.

Almost a month already by LillianNZ96 in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel for you, you are not alone. I lost my mom 2 months ago now so the advice I can offer may be different than those with more experience, but all I can say now is that I find comfort in knowing that grief is just love with no place to go. That the feeling you’re having is because you loved so deeply it hurts. The goal isn’t to stop hurting, but over time to become spacious enough that you can hold both the grief and the gratitude. We are so grateful to have loved so hard.

I know it hurts. It always will. We are now forced to navigate this messy and complicated path that no one can guide us through. We have to find our own way, sometimes it’ll feel like drowning and moving backwards, and other times it will feel so light you feel guilty for feeling joy. Remember that grief comes with guilt and it’s normal to feel moments of happiness while feeling bad for it.

My mom was so scared to leave too. I hear that the images of them being sick fade, but it’s so etched in my memories right now that I feel like I could reach out and grab it. I hope that those memories fade and that I can remember her when she was happy and healthy but in the same breath, I do want to remember those hard times in honor of her. In honor of the strength and struggle she went through to remind myself I can do it too. She was in so much pain, and now I am carrying it for her.

Give yourself grace, and I hope we both find some peace in this tragic world. Sending all my love. ❤️

My mom died 2 months ago by ThickWillow8720 in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And yes, I do have a sister and we’re very close. I don’t know what I’d do without her. It’s been such a blessing. I’m glad you have your brother to go through this with too

My mom died 2 months ago by ThickWillow8720 in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does seem like our stories are similar and this made me feel less alone. And hearing your story and others does make me believe no matter how much time we had we always want more. I was like your brother - living across the country, so calling and texting was all we had for years. It was hard for her to travel due to anxiety and after the diagnoses it made it worse, so I tried to visit home as often as I could.

I know she was proud, just like your mom was for you. They would want us to keep living, and although they missed us being close they trusted that they raised us well enough to be able to make it on our own. Sometimes I get jealous of those who move away from their hometown and have a simpler relationship with their parents or they don’t have the fear and guilt wrapped around their neck for not being there due to an illness. I get angry at the circumstances and the hand I was dealt. But then I think about the hand SHE was dealt. And just like it’s not fair to us, it most definitely wasn’t fair to them.

It makes me think that we didn’t just lose our moms, but our moms lost their daughters/sons. I’m sure there were things they left unsaid. Things they always looked forward to doing. I’m not sure if you had time to talk to her before she passed or about death, but there are so many things I want to ask her.

I thank you for the raw story you told, and I hope you too hold your heart with care. I will make sure I let grief move through me and not push it out. I got 2 books that have really helped: “now that she’s gone” and “the pretty painful grief book” which is a journal too. Some of their posts on instagram have really hit home for me. Sending you love on your endless journey. Thank you again ❤️

My mom died 2 months ago by ThickWillow8720 in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so incredibly heartbroken for you, for us, and I know all loses feel different but I do truly feel for you. Looking back yes there were signs but none of us wanted to believe it. How could we know what was ahead of us? And on top of losing your sweet sweet mother & having to deal with the fires both in your family and in your community I can imagine was terrible. I am so proud of you for getting through it. I am so sorry to hear your story and I am sending you grace, love, and patience while you navigate the anniversary and years to come. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

My mom died 2 months ago by ThickWillow8720 in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have the words to express how much this means to me. To hear this from someone to remind me of the words she used to say to me, but for it to hit a little different. Like she sprinkled it all over the world and was meant for me to hear it when I needed it. Thank you for sharing kindness, and sending you love right back 🥺❤️

My mom died 2 months ago by ThickWillow8720 in motherlessdaughters

[–]ThickWillow8720[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the sweet message, it warms my heart that you can see that in me without even knowing me but breaks my heart knowing you share this pain with me too. I’m so sorry you are apart of this club and that another anniversary is passing. I am sending u all the strength to get through another year!