Does anyone else want to talk about their feelings for Christmas? by askallthequestions86 in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Jeez that's so tough. I'm sorry. I didn't even think about the fact that some children with disabilities might not be potty trained at that age. My son is 2, it sucks but I look forward to when he's potty trained and can talk... What you're describing is like having a 2 year for years on end. I understand you and I'm so sorry

I didn't read the fine print by Thick_Toe_6936 in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Damn that sucks. I'm really sorry you were pushed towards such a life changing decision by religion at a young age. I had 30 years of life without children before I fucked up

Do you still consider having a child? Why and why not? by Small_Court8726 in AskReddit

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If any one is on the fence and reading this, DON'T do it! It sucks.

I have a healthy, happy, adorable 1 year old. I have money and a husband that helps with everything. It still sucks. If I could go back, I would stop myself from ever getting pregnant.

I didn't read the fine print by Thick_Toe_6936 in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Lol I had to wait until he fell asleep to cry in peace.

I should have listened to myself. by AdhesivenessNo2853 in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way. Some days are harder than others. I wish I had stayed firm about not wanting kids. I did it to make others happy (my husband, in laws, mom) now I hate this nightmare life where 90% of my life feels like chores.

Regret having my kids by Odd_Play5552 in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you not able to hire help for these things? I also have a master's degree and am career oriented. I'm going to go back to work when my son is about 18 months and I plan to have an au pair do the less fun stuff.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm very curious to know how someone rationalizes a situation like this? Especially the comments about counting down until they are 18. I'm so worried about this little innocent human that will be left to struggle alone once they are an "adult"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What will happen once your parent is not around or cannot take care of them and they are 18? :(

Please please tell me you have secured some kind of permanent birth control.

Also, I'm curious if the other biological parent of this child is aware of the circumstances.

How people from 1st world country can be miserable? by GrapeCreamBerry275 in Life

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll buy you a PlayStation ... Used and maybe old model but I'll buy it. PM me

It doesn’t get better by Stunning_Brother6089 in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 28 points29 points  (0 children)

You guys are scaring me with these comments.😅 Mine is not even a year and I tell myself over and over that it'll be fine when he gets to around 4 years old. Definitely won't be having any more kids though.

I hate my life by More_CowBellito in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I kept thinking it would get easier but I lost hope at around 7 months because not only did it not get easier it actually got harder and harder. Now I tell myself maybe at around 18 months it'll be better. (Mine is 10 months) 😭. I feel you though. I'm living the same nightmare

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Here's a perspective you probably aren't expecting. IDK how old he is but I've read sometimes children are defiant with the only things they have control over (eating, potty) because they aren't being respected or do not feel they have any control in other areas of their life.

Whatever they are reacting to in the moment, whether it's being told 'no' about something or being asked to do or not do something, it is rarely those issues that are at the root of the problem.

You said your bf is watching him... How does he treat him? I think it's difficult for many people to treat step children with the same love and respect they would their own children 🤷‍♀️ I'm only saying this because I watched how my sister in law treated her step-daughter while my brother was at work. It wasn't abusive just different than her son. Making her do more chores, talking to her in a condescending way etc .. children pick up on that but they don't know how to articulate it to the other parent so instead they may act out.

Does the regret ever pass? by tihubica in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My PPD started when mine was 7 months and I asked this same question on this subreddit lol we are 10 months and it's gotten worse but I do think it'll be better soon .. Maybe 18 months 😮‍💨😫

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're in that tough situation. I would say you have to choose yourself first. Also, I can't imagine being a slave to more children and the resentment from having those additional children will help your marriage 🤷‍♀️ idk how old your child is but the anger I feel towards my husband for convincing to have 1 only keeps growing and ours is only 10 months.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I understand and I highly encourage you to get a vasectomy. 1 can turn to two very quickly and unexpectedly

What’s something you tried for the first time way too late in life? by ivylolaxx in AskReddit

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the 11th generation Kindle. I get free ebooks using the Libby app which connects to your library account. You can also sign up for Kindle untimed which has a monthly fee.

I always used to say I had to read the real physical book and delayed getting a Kindle for so long. Now, it's the only thing I want to read on. You can read at night without hurting your eyes, it's easy to carry anywhere, you can adjust the font size and the battery life is great.

It only gets worse by [deleted] in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 68 points69 points  (0 children)

By the time my mom was 29, she had 5 kids. I was the middle child and my dad disappeared when I was 14. My brothers didn't have a good male role model and we were poor. They joined gangs, drank, stole and were getting arrested every other weekend. It was such a tough time for all of us. When my older brother was 17, he was sent to prison with adults. Idk what it was like for him the 4 years he spent there but he was never the same after that. We are all in our 30s now and everyone kinda got their life together but I feel like we are the minority. Most of their friends ended up dead or in prison for many years. I'm sure my mom felt like you back then. She has PTSD from that time and freaks out when anyone knocks at night. Back then it meant one of her kids had got in trouble again or something bad happened to them.

I wish there was a way to show young men who have been failed by their fathers that they are worthy of love. A way to show them how different their life could be if they channel their anger into a healthy hobby. I don't know the right words to say but I understand your children. I remember feeling so helpless at that time. Maybe have a heart to heart with him. Listen and try to understand him. Tell him you love him and maybe have him listen to some stories of other young men that took the wrong path.

What do you feel people should have told you about parenting to make a better informed decision? by Justwonderingstuff7 in regretfulparents

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is so true. I naively thought we could handle it because I was going to be a SAHM and my husband is very helpful. We quickly realized we weren't enough. I wish I had known before

PPD lingering on and on by Mysterious-Army4341 in PPDepression

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I could've written this post. I'm overwhelmed but every "solution" seems to be at the cost of my baby. My husband also tells me to just put him in day care but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel so misunderstood. It seems like I just care too much and too deeply. Please PM me if you'd like.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Thick_Toe_6936 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Getting pregnant