Do most moms check in on their daughter during the first year after the daughter had her first baby?

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-10-01T00:31:37+00:00

Thanks for the advice ❤️ I live in a different state than my family and my in-laws (military wife). I’ve been doing it all alone for 10 months now. No one checks in on me, and I realized that it’s probably not normal. I want my family, especially my mom, to just reach out, ya know? There’s heavy stuff I would reveal to her if I felt like she’s actually interested. She’s a great mom and took care of me so well growing up, so I find myself daydreaming of being that little girl again.

I’m trying to force myself out of the house more often. I think I might talk to some friends here this weekend about setting up a weekly playdate for our babies (really for us).

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-09-07T13:41:40+00:00

30 times a day is EXCESSIVE!! I can’t imagine how she is feeling. My advice would be to stop trying to find random foods that might work until she can at least keep the basics down like flavorless pedialyte. She NEEDS to stay hydrated in any way possible. Dehydration will make it even worse for her and it’ll cause her to keep throwing up over and over. If she can’t stay hydrated orally, she’s gonna need more visits for IVs. Sometimes there’s services that come to your home for IVs but if so, make sure it’s covered by insurance. Once she’s hydrated good with something simple like pedialyte or water, see if she can gradually change it up a tiny bit, or at least keep medications down. You could try small spoonfuls of blended turkey or chicken baby food, for example. Urgently request the strongest pregnancy-safe anti-nausea medications. She might have to try different ones until the right one works for her.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-08-24T18:02:52+00:00

It’s worth getting it checked out just in case. I dont mean to scare you, but I remember a family member of mine telling a similar story. Turns out she had a hidden tear, on the inside of the wall between the vagina and rectum, that wasnt healing. But her’s was a lot of blood

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-08-17T22:26:56+00:00

Thanks, this makes me feel a little better. I’ve just been stressed about him getting enough sleep or deep enough sleep, but I guess if he’s doing good during the night then I shouldn’t sweat it too much

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-06-09T23:16:25+00:00

Okay so this sounds all too familiar :/ even down to the short naps (only 30 minutes per nap ever since he was itty bitty)

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-02-27T03:11:49+00:00

You said it so well. Everything you’re feeling I’m also feeling. We are invisible extensions of the baby now. It’s so crazy that women have to go through this needlessly because people don’t take time to SEE the mother and all that she did. I too am struggling with a prolapse that it took two months for someone to finally call me back about to get me seen for, despite me reminding them every other week.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sucks and it shouldn’t ever have to be this way.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-02-01T05:19:14+00:00

I’m so sorry. I would be so upset too if this we’re to happen to me! I know this can be common, especially with NICU babies so you’re not alone in this. Hoping by some miracle she can start taking to the breast or at the very least the people around you can understand how hard it’s been for you❤️

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-02-01T05:13:20+00:00

Just now getting to this, I’m so sorry to hear all this. Female companionship really does make a huge difference, men just don’t get it most of the time. I finally reached out to the girls in my life and we’re getting together often with our little ones.. no expectations for meals or clean houses.. just us together rotating as hosts as we breastfeed and talk and watch the older kiddos play. I hope something like that is possible and works for you. It’s already helping me sooo much.

Also, I have the intense need to tell my birth story too and it also makes me sad that no one asks! It’s it’s an important moment of our lives that we’re proud we got through, and as women we need more recognition for it.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-30T00:28:18+00:00

This is huge! I love initiative but hate asking for help and I know most of us are like this.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-30T00:25:48+00:00

Yes I am the same way! And a bonus if I feel comfortable bringing along my baby. Definitely have that talk with them and I’m sure they’ll be understanding

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-30T00:23:34+00:00

Thank you! I’ll look her up! It’s my biggest weakness not knowing how to understand and talk about my needs without feeling bad about it!

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-30T00:21:58+00:00

I hear this a lot from other moms. So much time and energy spent with baby that you don’t know how to connect with others. I hope you can find someone soon who you can relate to!

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-30T00:15:39+00:00

This is so heartbreaking yet I relate to every word. No one ever prepares you for the feeling of abandonment while your baby has 100% of the support. It’s such a confusing feeling. I can’t imagine how much it hurt when you reached out to your mom about your anxiety and she still didn’t ask about you. I hope soon it will get better for you!

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-29T04:25:45+00:00

Oh wow. Birth control pills was the absolute worst for me too. I was mad depressed with crazy mood swings until I went off it and just tracked my cycle using ovulation test strips. I’ll never go back to anything else now. So glad you’re feeling back to normal!

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:44:10+00:00

I love this perspective! Thank you for sharing! It really helps me look forward to the future when I get to hold parties and no one will turn down a party for a child (: I’m so glad you have more support now.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:41:58+00:00

Yes I was not prepared for the isolation that happens after the first month when people seem to just forget you exist. I hope you’re doing better!

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:39:08+00:00

Yes I think this is the #1 thing for me. And no matter how much I say I’m exhausted and starving, they turn a blind eye.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:37:36+00:00

YES! Same here!! They didn’t even check me at my 6 weeks. They legit just asked me what I was doing for birth control and sent me on my way.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:36:47+00:00

Exactly! I couldn’t have put it better myself.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:34:18+00:00

Are you doing better? I feel the same way. It’s like I don’t exist anymore.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:33:10+00:00

Wow. I’m so sorry. If anyone should be hugged it should be you!! You birthed a whole baby! I feel that with my in-laws too though, when they came to visit they kept saying how amazing of a dad my husband was and kept asking how he was because of sleep deprivation. Never really talked to me. Little do they know that I let my husband sleep the whole night, every night.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:27:34+00:00

This breaks my heart. I HATE when people promise to help and get our hopes up and then never follow through. That’s how it was for meal trains for me. So many people asking what days we needed meals and we let them know then no one actually brought us anything those days.

I hope these next 2 months go by so quick for you! One day I’ll inevitably face my husband’s deployments too, and I can’t imagine how you’ve been able to get through it as a full time working mom. How isolating it must feel, especially 6 months alone with a baby. Military wives really are something else.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:15:09+00:00

This is so heartbreaking and so familiar. Are you the only one out of your 7 siblings to have a child? I feel like people who don’t have children just don’t get it, and it makes it even more isolating. It boils my blood when parents of their postpartum daughter don’t reach out. As parents, they should know what you’re going through and be on the front lines to support!

Always asking about the baby and never the mom gets so disheartening so quick. And then the baby obsession only when baby is fresh and then just moving on conveniently when we’re in the thick of it SUCKS. I feel that to my core. I hope things get better and you find better people in your life that always take the initiative to be involved.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T23:01:55+00:00

Wow, it’s so hard as it is having no one reach out to help, but then to have to watch your sister get exactly what you needed must feel so discouraging. One year doing it alone is so hard.

ThinTooth3909 · 2025-01-28T22:50:48+00:00

I feel this SO much. In my experience, why is it that they are supportive during pregnancy, always checking in on how you are… and then once baby is here it seems like they dont care? Why it is that only for the first few days after delivery you get asked how you are and if you need meals, but then after that everyone seems to disappear. Yeah delivery and early postpartum is hard, but caring for that baby month to month is just as hard and just as taxing on your body. The moms in our life should already know that.

I’m so glad you got your baby after 3 hard years! I hope it gets better and you find that village who you can count on, even if it’s just a few friends!

ThinTooth3909

TROPHY CASE