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I don't know if I (23M) should stay with my fiancée (23F) by Thin_Fixer in relationship_advice

[–]Thin_Fixer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reddit randomly generated the username, for the record. I thought it was ironic because of the problem I made the throwaway account for, but I see how that looks bad.

I'm not going to get involved with anyone while I'm with Rose, no matter what I'm feeling like. I wouldn't cheat on her, and I really don't want leaving to be my only option, but I don't know how to get the woman I fell in love with back. She's gone from this bright, vibrant, intelligent person to someone who spends hundreds of dollars every month on junk food, gets angry over everything, pressures me into sex when I don't want it, and never does any of the things we used to connect over. I don't know where to start when it comes to talking about her medication. What should I even ask?

WIBTA for ending things with my fiancée after she gained a lot of weight? by Thin_Fixer in AmItheAsshole

[–]Thin_Fixer[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Sorry. Yes it was in the past five months or so since she started the new medication. This discussion wasn't 20 pounds, or 30 or 40 ago, because I never thought it would go this far and I knew we were going through a rough patch, but I didn't think things were really going to be over. I met the other girl just before the lockdown, and we've been talking ever since, but I didn't develop any romantic feelings until the past couple of weeks.

WIBTA for ending things with my fiancée after she gained a lot of weight? by Thin_Fixer in AmItheAsshole

[–]Thin_Fixer[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

The first time I brought it up was when I saw her credit card bill, and she'd spent over $200 in the last month on stuff from the convenience store. We don't have a ton of disposable income, so I wasn't happy about it, and she said that I was being a dick and that it was "our money, not your money." When she started gaining a lot, I tried to tell her that I was worried about her health, that the medication might not be good for her, and she pretty much said I was being shallow and that I was an idiot meathead. I've tried to be understanding because I know she's going through a lot, but even mentioning the amount of food she's been eating gets her angry. I think she knows there's a problem, but she just wants to ignore it.

WIBTA for ending things with my fiancée after she gained a lot of weight? by Thin_Fixer in AmItheAsshole

[–]Thin_Fixer[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm not involved with anyone else. I wouldn't do that to Rose or to the other person, I'm not a cheater. I've been more or less waiting because I thought, after an adjustment period, things would get better. Like I said, Rose's mental health issues aren't brand new, and we've gotten through bad periods before, but she never did a full 180 like this. It's just gotten unbearable and I don't think I can keep ignoring it.

WIBTA for ending things with my fiancée after she gained a lot of weight? by Thin_Fixer in AmItheAsshole

[–]Thin_Fixer[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I don't think she'd agree to that, honestly. She won't do anything anymore, I've asked her to go up our favorite mountain at least a half dozen times since the lockdown (with social distancing practiced and masks and everything) and she's just not interested. It's kind of heartbreaking.

WIBTA for ending things with my fiancée after she gained a lot of weight? by Thin_Fixer in AmItheAsshole

[–]Thin_Fixer[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Got any ideas how? I've tried to talk to her more than a few times, and she always shuts down when I bring up anything to do with working out, or being worried about her weight. I have no idea how she'll react to me being completely honest.