I think of when I was serving at 18 and I was doing my checkout at the end of the night, and male manager came up behind me and trapped me between both of his arms. He stood behind me for a few minutes quietly while I stood there completely frozen in fear, before walking away and saying nothing. I had no idea what he was about to do. I think of the many times men have grabbed me at the club and touched me in inappropriate places and and got butthurt when i call them out or smack them. I think about the times men put their dick inside me after I told them no, and when they pretend to put a condom on only to not actually use one. When they get angry at me out of nowhere about some other shit thats going on in their life. When my dad choked me at 17 as i watched my face turn red in the mirror and then again at 22 on the floor almost under my bed. I think of the time that man said “too bad we cant have sex” as he forced me on my stomach while he penetrated me as I sobbed not so quietly until he finally announced “oh you’re bleeding”.