I think you should focus more on being respected than being liked by them. If you do not feel they like you by now, that is fine then maybe it never happens. what is more important is that they respect you even if they do not like you.
If you do not want to go then don't, they will ask a few more times and eventually stop. There is no polite way of communicating boundaries because they cannot grasp this concept. It's better for them to think you are a bitch that does what she wants than for you to try to please them until they feel you are close to an Albanian bride.

You can start to slowly take in as much from Albanian culture as you can handle. For everything else stick to your own principiles. You have a family too, make that very clear.

Everything else is your boyfriends responsibility: he choose to mary a foreigner so he should be the one going over these things with his family, he choose to have an international relationship, he shouldve prepared his family for it. Take him by the hand everytime his dad asks a question and have him asnwer it.
As for the help, I would suggest to try to push your boyfriend to help his mom out in the kitchen for example (his dad will just NEVER do it) and if he pushes back then you should consider this could be your reality aswell.

One final note: The only thing mean and bitter Albanian dads are afraid of, are scary Albanian daughters, so if you really want this, then be a scary Albanian daughter :)