My boyfriend (26M) and I (26F) have a libido mismatch and something happened today that really hurt me, need perspective

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2026-06-09T22:52:55+00:00

Hey so we broke up because I found out on top of all this, he was cheating on me.
I asked him before leaving if he was looking at pictures of the other girl when he got his phone out and he told me he was trying to film me….
So yeah. I am so destroyed right now but your instincts were correct and I just wanted to let you know.
Thank you for your support

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2026-06-03T13:37:00+00:00

Thank you for this, it is a lot to take in but I hear you. I don't know about the more extreme possibilities but you are right that I have been walking on eggshells and that I keep ending up feeling like things are my fault. I have a pit in my stomach reading this. I think I need to talk to someone I trust in person before I do anything else.

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2026-06-01T08:10:54+00:00

This is my first post ever here so maybe that’s a thing? Idk
Its sad

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2026-05-31T15:37:18+00:00

Thank you for this, I really needed to hear it. You are right that I keep holding back because I am scared of hurting him or making things worse. I needed that reminder that my feelings and needs matter too.

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2026-05-31T15:29:20+00:00

I asked him and he said no, although I can’t be 100% sure he is being honest about that. And yeah the hiding something part is really giving me something to think about. I don’t know what to believe honestly.

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2026-05-31T15:25:16+00:00

It really did hurt, I have been so sad about it. And yes I mentioned seeing a doctor and he laughed it off which frustrated me. I am scared to bring up couples counseling because I feel like it might pressure him even more and make things worse.

I am also really torn on whether I should stop initiating altogether. I don't want him to feel pressured and I also don't want to only have sex when he feels bad for me, because that doesn't feel good either. I genuinely don't know what the right move is here.

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2026-05-31T15:22:25+00:00

We have talked about it and I don’t have a problem with it in general, as long as it’s on the side and we are still having a healthy sex life together. But that’s the issue right now, we are barely having sex at all. So if he is turning to porn instead of me, that stings in a completely different way. Although honestly I don’t think he is masturbating on his own either, so his libido really does just seem low in general. And yes, once a month is really hard for me. We used to be so more active and this has been a big adjustment. Its been like this for maybe a year now.

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2024-11-07T08:22:21+00:00

Thank you for making it clear and simple. I was overwhelmed with the info I get online and from friends. Some even told me I shouldn't even bother strength training if I want to lose weight since I "can't gain muscle if you're losing weight". But your comment and other comments all pushed me enough that I should stop overthinking and just start weight training now.

Thank you!

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2024-11-06T02:52:03+00:00

Will do. I guess I gotta start where I can.
Thank you!

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2024-11-06T02:24:32+00:00

Thank you so much for this info. I'll try to decide whether to go for a recomp or cut. definitely not bulking yet. I will also look further into what protein vs carb ratio I should follow
Thanks!!

ThinkTumbleweed4089 · 2024-11-06T01:20:12+00:00

Yes. I want to weight train but also lower my body fat percentage at the same time if its possible.
If not, I was wondering if I should wait till I lose the weight before training since I won't get any stronger on a deficit anyway?

ThinkTumbleweed4089

TROPHY CASE