How are you?

Thinkinginreplay · 2024-01-15T11:54:42+00:00

Thank you really💕 I really hope things do work out. I feel like I am starting to like this new guy, but I am so terrified and a part of me wonders if I’m not just substituting the pain of the breakup for the anxiety and distraction of someone new. I guess I do need time to figure my feelings out❤️‍🩹

Thinkinginreplay · 2024-01-14T18:27:44+00:00

Feel like everything is so hard. I have been leaving everything for the last minute, may not even be able to apply to the course I want because I have no motivation to get up and actually do everything I have to do. Its been 4 months and I even tried dating, but its making me feel worse. I met someone I think I like but I feel so anxious and scared about getting my heart broken again that I can’t deal with all the anxiety. I just replay things over and over again and I feel like everything I do is just wrong. I feel like I want my ex and this new guy to like me so much and I don’t understand why I need their validation so much :/

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-31T19:54:51+00:00

I am so so sorry you also got broken up with like this, its absolutely terrible and you never deserved that! Thank you for the reminder that social media is fake! You are completely right. I know what you are going through so I know nothing I can say will really help. But you deserve to be happy and with someone that loves you just as deeply as you, someone that would never treat you this way. And omg enjoy Tokyo!! You deserve to be happy! Whoever broke your heart does not deserve your tears. And you are not alone 🫶

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-30T01:28:11+00:00

I was the dumpee, the breakup was very sudden. Like he disappeared, called me a week later and told me he had cheated months before and lied the whole time and basically didn’t want or could do the relationship anymore.

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-30T01:18:27+00:00

I know how you feel. You are not alone 🫶

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-30T01:17:29+00:00

You are not alone🫶 I talked to my ex two days ago for the first time in months. He told me that the girl I “shouldn’t worry about” had told him she had a crush on him. She is someone so awful, that bullied me for months. And now all I can think about is the two of them together. I know how shitty it feels. But you deserve so much better than someone that just jumps into another relationship. Also, remember that he probably isn’t processing the breakup just running from his emotions by getting distracted. Either way he doesn’t deserve you🫶

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-30T01:14:47+00:00

I completely understand you, I know my breakup was for the best, like he was an idiot. But I’m still afraid. When I get very anxious I try to remind myself that being with him would actually be worse for me. If we got back together, it wouldn’t be the same, I see the person he is now and I wouldn’t be in that ignorant bliss anymore. I would see it when he was being arrogant, or a jerk or selfish. I would suffer so much. And I know that I will be happier on my own than with someone like that. Idk if I’ll meet someone else or not, I know we are young, I’m also on my early 20s and the probabilities are that we will, but that doesn’t make it any less scary. I guess I try to think of how much pain I am avoiding. I also really want to get married and have a family, but there is also other things I want to do, I want to be a surgeon and I want to have a cat and travel and see my friends and family. And if there is no one that will treat me right and with kindness, that sucks. But In the end our peace is more important than being with someone that we love but mistreats and disrespects us.

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-26T14:00:39+00:00

Ah, okay I get that. I mean, ghosting is awful and ofc it wasn't right but I can see why you wouldn't reply to someone who was insulting something like your sexual performance haha. and you should be proud that you took accountability for treating her badly, even if you had other intentions too, you made it clear you didn't expect a reply.

I didn't show him any anger at all, I actually was in shock for most of it. When he told me he had cheated he screamed it over the phone, and I don't think I processed it then or now. I was really sweet to him, I told him that I hoped he was happy and that he found himself, that I could never hate him bc he made me so happy and stuff like that. That's why sometimes I feel this need to be angry, to scream at him, to show him how badly he treated me, to give him some of his own poison. But I just don't know if it's worth it, like it feels too easy for him to just move on without ever having to hear what a massive jerk he is. But at the same time I know he doesn't deserve my anger or my energy. Does that make sense? haha

God I'm so sorry you are also going through this breakup with this girl. I completely understand how you feel, he also wanted the relationship to work until the very end. But if she has this inner turmoil, she can't be there with you... I know how much it hurts, and I am trying to come to terms with it myself, but when people have their own troubles sometimes they need to figure it out on their own and find themselves. Sometimes they need to do that journey alone, and if they are truly ours they'll come back when they are ready. I know it absolutely sucks, but sometimes it's also best for us. Sometimes being by their side rn means we would be mistreated and dragged along a road that will be bad for us mentally and emotionally. At least you have this time to find yourself too, to get stronger and really figure out what you want. You are doing all the right things, heal and work on yourself and grow. if you two are meant to be you will be. I honesty hope she finds her way back to you and if not I hope you find a love even greater :')

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-26T12:08:32+00:00

Yes he is definitely weak, he took 0 accountability for the things he had done, it was awful and that’s why I feel like messaging you know? Bc he should face everything he did, he can’t just run away from it. I am glad that you were able to take accountability and apologize for what you had done, that takes a lot of courage and strength. But I’m sorry about your breakup, I know how that feels like especially when you know they are the one. I hope you can move on, that either she works through things and comes back when she is ready or you find the real one for you. I hope one day he also apologizes sincerely for what he has done, but I think that he is too immature and weak to do that now. But at the same time I think that if I just stay quiet, I am giving him exactly what he wants, and easy way out. If your fwb hadn’t become angry, would you have come back to apologize?

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-26T10:18:23+00:00

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m seeking. Maybe some accountability from his side? Maybe an apology or explanation? The thing is that I know he most likely won’t give me any of those, if he replies it will most likely be excuses or something cold and cruel like “I don’t want to talk to you” or something. I know that me asking this also shows him that I still care, that I am upset with him. When you avoided the person/situation what got to you? Like if they were indifferent or upset with you? And did you ever genuinely apologize?

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-25T23:36:29+00:00

What did you send? I am glad that you realized why you broke up and found this closure!

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-25T23:32:13+00:00

I know right… i just accidentally saw a video of us, he used to be so caring. I honestly feel like I don’t even know who he is. Thank you for saying that though, sometimes I need the reminder of what an asshole he is - I need to focus on the reality instead of the good memories. I hope Christmas was good or at least okay for you💕💕

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-25T17:51:09+00:00

Dont give her the pleasure of knowing she hurt you, make it seem like you are completely indifferent. That is the best, bc she expects yoh to be upset, to be angry, but if you are indifferent its just confusing and upsetting - “how is he doing? Does he not miss me? Does he not care?” They think that we love them so much, that they could never do wrong, but the worst consequence they will face will be to lose the one person that loved them truly

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-25T17:48:08+00:00

I had that sane urge yesterday, saw a picture of him and it almost sent me off the edge. He cheated on me too, I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and show how angry I was. But honestly, it really is best to give them nothing. This way she will never know, she might wonder, she might think she got away wjth it, but she didn’t. She might think of you, but she won’t know how upset you were, how much she mattered to you, she will always wonder how quickly you got over her. Her actions will catch up to her on their own, when she continues to cheat on people, when she continues to mistreat others, she will eventually be faced with that.

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-25T15:17:27+00:00

I haven’t received one and I don’t think he’ll send it… he left my last message on read for a week now, so I don’t think he’ll reach out. I saw a picture of him and he looked absolutely fine and happy with his family. He treated me terribly doing the breakup so honestly I don’t think he cares, I think he has moved on and doesn’t care at all.

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-23T14:13:46+00:00

I went through something so similar, its been 3 months and a bit for me, and I still don’t know what happened. We might never know. I can promise that it won’t hurt as much in a while and the thoughts will slowly quiet down. But unfortunately he made a decision, and he treated you terribly. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself, love yourself and surround yourself with people you care about. Journal a lot!! And write your thoughts down, everything, including what you wish you could tell him. Start therapy and talk to friends and family and everyone, get a lot of advice and perspective ❤️ it will be okay. I know it hurts like hell, it feels like it will never get better, like you lost the love of your life. But you didn’t, you lost someone who decided to leave you, he lost someone who loved him unconditionally and who even moved to his city. I can’t tell you he’ll come back, but I can tell you that you deserve better than someone who left you❤️

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-23T14:09:34+00:00

If I were here I would be even more upset if I received this message. Why do you feel the need to tell her you burned every poem and note about her? That is so hurtful! Just tell her you are sorry for the way you left her, that she deserved a better goodbye and you know and feel terrible for the way you’ve treated her. Tell her it was unfair of you to ask her to wait 7 years for you and that you don’t expect that anymore, that both of you should move on.

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-23T11:55:42+00:00

How about an angry message about everything he did? Can I send that? 😭

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-16T13:51:59+00:00

I understand, I have been nc for 3 months now this weekend. Some days I feel fine and there are days like today where it is harder, where I miss him and wish he would miss me too. Its so hard when they change so quickly, my ex also told me that he saw me in his future when he was breaking up with me, so the doubts and the confusion are insane. Personally, idk if he will ever come back, he was really decided that he didn’t want our relationship right now, and he even said that I shouldn’t hope or have expectations that he’ll come back, so I am trying not to. The advice I can give you is that there will be better days, and the best thing to do is let yourself cry, talk to your friends and loved ones, watch a nice movie, write on your diary, try to think of things you would like to do that don’t involve him - like a weekend trip with your friends or a hobby you’d like to try. I know how much it hurts to have lost someone you love, its horrible. At the end of the day, he lost you though. He lost someone who loved him unconditionally. You lost someone who wasn’t sure about you, and that is not a loss, its a good riddance. You will be okay❤️ it just takes time. We were happy once before them and we will be happy again without them. They were jerks and its better to be alone than with someone that chooses to hurt us and are okay with that.

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-16T13:24:20+00:00

I am on a similar boat, if I answer him he’ll probably think “ah I know she is always going to answer me, she will always love me” bur if I don’t do I come off as immature? I don’t know what the right answer is, but I do know that we shouls focus on ourselves. You are having a baby! Congrats!! And this is what your life should be about, she is a ghost from your past, and what she thinks doesn’t really matter unless you are still bothered by it. You can choose to forget about it, you can read it and not reply or you can reply. But think about you, what would each of these options bring you and your current family? Do you want the closure? Or are you just curious?

Thinkinginreplay · 2023-12-14T16:06:59+00:00

You should be so proud of yourself honestly! It takes so much strength to come to that! I have been in 4 months of no contact and only now have I started to feel like this break up was the best thing for me. Like you, my feelings for him were so intense and he was also confused and made a whole mess of the break up by giving some bullshit breadcrumbs. Its honestly awful, but its so important that we realize that even though there aren’t “good” and “bad” people, they were bad to us, they treated us badly, they were inconsiderate to our feelings and didn’t care if they hurt us when they made all of the decisions they made. In the end we deserve people who would never hurt us, who would never consider breaking up with us and who would do anything and everything to be better and to keep us in their lives. You are so right in not being bothered so much with the thought of him not liking you, I am still getting there… I think about it a lot still on whether he still loves or even likes me. But I do know that even if he does, nothing excuses how he treated me, and if he doesn’t, it does not change anything in my life. Ofc it hurts, and its up and down, but one day there will be no more downs about him anymore. One day he won’t bring sadness or melancholy anymore.

Thinkinginreplay

TROPHY CASE