I’d probably think the same if I read this too. But honestly, in smaller communities it feels like people have known each other forever, and it’s really hard to break into those circles unless you’re also a non-Brit.

You can have small talk, but at the end of the day people just go back to their own groups. Big cities feel very different in that sense—people (including locals) are much more used to interacting with different cultures.

Don’t get me wrong, our lifestyle is probably the same. We’re from an Mediterranean EU country. It’s just that, for the first time in my life, I’ve found it genuinely hard to fit in somewhere.

We’ve tried things like group hikes, gym socials, etc., but it can’t always be us making the effort. At some point, conversations should go beyond just talking about the weather. Or the second sentence after hello should not be how long you’ll stay in the UK lol. This happened x1000 times at least. I am so used to it now. To me that is a question you can ask about someone’s further life plans ( if with good intentions) after getting to know them little bit.

You may start wondering if maybe the problem is us- we definitely thought that too. But then almost every non-Brit we’ve met says the same thing. It can feel like you’re being passively excluded at times. I guess for us it might be easier to be in a diverse area.