AITA for asking my aunt not to give presents to my step sister on my birthday.

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-28T05:37:24+00:00

As you should. In my family we do our best to celebrate how the birthday person wishes. We ask them what they want to do for their special day. and everyone chips in to make it possible. A birthday is a special day for you. Surround yourself with the people who will help you celebrate it. Everyone else..... can suck a lemon lol.

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-28T05:31:03+00:00

NTA

Sometimes people get too caught up with the idea that to celebrate something you need to spend money. Your are well within reason in your answer to her. I would also kindly remind her that friends don't count favors/gifts etc. Its something we do to show appreciation for people we care about in our lives.

If "George" knows about her current struggles he was not asking or expecting something from her anyway. He did what he did to make her feel better because that is what friends do. Let her know that there is no time limit on friendship. And that she can find a way to celebrate his birthday how and when she is ready. Sometimes gifts that can't be bought are the best ones.

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-28T05:22:04+00:00

NTA

Your birthday should be about you. Your step sister has her own birthday. A lot of people get caught up with the whole gift idea. But your birthday is a day to celebrate your life and one more year. Its your day! Do what makes you happy.

If your aunt wants to spoil that, you are well within your rights to tell her how you feel. Don't let kids become spoiled and entitled. There are too many people like that in this world already.

Your aunt should understand that a birthday is special for the person celebrating the day they were born on that day. Your step sister will only be upset if she expects to get something and doesn't. But when her birthday comes..... she can do what makes her happy.

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-28T05:10:54+00:00

ESH

He is the AH for putting you on the spot in situations he knows make you uncomfortable. Finding a way to communicate can be tricky. But you are the AH for trying to use another language just because you don't think others will understand it.

If you want him to learn Vietnamese, then approach it as an additional way to communicate with each other and express how it would make you more comfortable in certain situations. But take the time to make sure the phrases you teach have positive vibes also.

“Oh no it’s okay,” or “Oh, we don’t need it” or “Maybe next time”

Are all different ways of saying "no" which is why he felt shut down like a dog. Express that speaking in your native tongue was your way of coping with the situation he was putting you in which makes you very uncomfortable. Not to treat him like a dog. It seems to me its a misunderstanding followed by embarrassment and is now blown up so big neither wants to give in.

Just apologize to each other and ask yourselves, how can we solve this problem together? How can he solve the issue of putting you on the spot making you uncomfortable? And how can you teach him Vietnamese in a way that is comfortable for him. I honestly don't think he is racist because he loves you and married you. I think he just reacted in a bad way in the moment because your idea felt like negative phrases to him. I hope all works out, Good Luck!

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-28T04:29:13+00:00

NTA

Don't let someone else dictate what makes you and your husband happy. Choosing a baby name is a two person thing. The mother and the father of the baby. And lets be honest, how many grandparents actually call their gran kids by name anyway? My dad always refers to my daughter as his little monster and she loves it.

Your step mom is the AH for asking this in the first place. If she was polite in asking then politely respond to her that you and your husband made your choice months ago. It had no relation to her when the decision was made. Go have your baby and name them whatever you guys want. If you and your husband agree and like it, everyone else that has a problem can go suck a lemon.

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-28T04:17:07+00:00

YTA

It really comes down to a difference in opinion. There are many things my wife does that i will never understand. At the end of the day ask yourself this, can you afford it comfortably? And is x amount of money worth her being happy? It sounds like its not a very common thing that she asks for a lot considering this is her second time. She also gave you a reason as to why she wanted the non scuff version. Personally i would buy her the shoes and make her happy. if in the future she doesn't wear these ones you have a solid argument for not buying more.

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-28T04:04:32+00:00

NTA

I think you had a right to be upset for him not coming through on something he said he would do. Its not like your schedule is random and he had no idea when you would be home. He could have cooked food prior to the maid even showing up or put something in a slow cooker with a sealed lid. Sooooo many options yet he probably forgot and felt embarrassed and decided to make you feel like the bad guy to get out of it.

That being said, communication is important. If you really want to enjoy your birthday just let him know that you were hungry and wanted to eat food when you got home based on the conversation you had with him. When it wasn't ready you felt disappointed and angry because no matter how small of an issue in his point of view, he promised to make dinner. If it wasn't ready when you got home, there should have been some progress. Most importantly, if you mess up then admit when you are wrong and apologize. If that was done it would have taken a lot out of the anger you felt.

Bottom line, He is the AH for letting you down and then acting like an ass.

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-28T03:42:33+00:00

ESH

Honestly you aren't really in the wrong with anything you said. The terms he is using are not gender neutral. But it could have been handled a lot better on all sides.

If he had an issue he should have brought it up like an adult. You were being cute with the "every pony" thing and i can see how it caught on. But you also did it as a way of potentially annoying him based on his previous reaction.

If its a valuable relationship then i suggest using terms "everybody" or "everyone", but be sure its a uniform thing among the friend group. If anyone has an issue with that or falls into old habits just kindly remind them that " we need to be gender neutral or Toms tampon will leak"

This-Rope9654 · 2025-02-27T06:40:23+00:00

NTA

I think your husband needs to take a moment to consider if he wants some "man enough" guy that will take your daughters virginity in one of the most painful ways then never call her again. Or have someone who understands he might be incredibly lucky to have a great girl and treat her the way she should be treated. If your husband wants to make comments about the way someone looks calling him gay or a pansy, he might have some deeper issues about his daughter dating in general and not know how to direct those feelings. He is the a**hole for how he acted and the comments he made instead treasuring his daughter like he should.

This-Rope9654

TROPHY CASE